Papaia, Banani and Ravioli’s families set off for a day trip to the mountains.
Igor tags along to get some fresh air and inspiration for a few new jokes.
Before leaving, the women pack snacks for the children, along with water and drinks for everyone.
Once they reach the motorway, they find themselves stuck in a massive traffic jam caused by an accident, so they have to take an earlier exit.
They pull over to the side of the road, and Papaia checks the GPS for an alternative route.
Papaia searches on Maps.
Looking through the results, Banani spots a hiking trail he’s been wanting to try for ages.
Banani
Hey, Papaia… why don’t we try this trail instead?
Papaia
Which one? The one called “Gecko’s Den”?
Banani
Yeah, yeah, that’s the one! They say it’s spectacular.
Papaia looks at the photos.
Papaia
It looks a bit difficult. We’ve got the kids with us.
Banani
No, no. It’s a family-friendly trail.
Papaia
If you say so, I’ll trust you.
An hour later, they’re struggling up a ridiculously steep, slippery slope covered in dust.
Banani is scrambling up the hillside with the twins in his arms.
The mums keep calling after the older kids, who are running ahead along a narrow, gravelly path winding up beside a sheer drop.
Igor gets thirsty and asks for some water. Someone hands him a lukewarm bottle with biscuit crumbs floating on the surface.
Igor
Could I have a paper cup?
Banani’s Wife
We left the cups at home.
Igor
Wise move…
Ravioli walks over, takes the bottle from Igor, drinks straight from it, then hands it back.
Igor returns the bottle.
Igor
Oh, no, thanks… now that I think about it, I’m not that thirsty.
After a long, exhausting hike through all that dust, they finally reach the end of the trail. Igor spots a drinking fountain.
Igor
Ah, finally. My salvation!
But one of the kids runs ahead of him and starts sucking on the tap like it’s a straw.
At that moment, Igor loses all hope, and his thirst comes crashing down on him like an avalanche of dust.
Kid
Uncle, the fountain’s broken. Nothing’s coming out.
Igor
You have to press the button.
Igor presses the button, and fresh, clean, crystal-clear water pours from the tap.
By now, the others have arrived too.
They all drink in exactly the same way: with their mouths pressed directly against the tap.
Igor watches, disgusted but tempted.
Once everyone’s finished drinking, the group moves on.
Igor hangs back, staring at the fountain.
Just then, a man arrives with his dog. The owner presses the button while the big dog drinks, giving the tap a good lick in the process.
Dog Owner
Good evening.
Igor
Good evening.
Dog Owner
First time here?
Igor
Yes. Quite an adventure, isn’t it?
Dog Owner
Yeah, shame about all the dust. You know… the drought.
Igor
Do you come here often?
Dog Owner
Every day. We live nearby.
The owner pets his dog, who gives the tap one final lick.
Dog Owner
Bobby’s especially thirsty today because of all the dust. We were here just ten minutes ago.
Igor
Ah… I see.
The owner says goodbye to Igor and leaves.
One of the kids comes running back.
Banani’s Wife
Nino? Where are you going?
Kid
I’m still thirsty.
Just like before, the boy presses his mouth against the tap, with Bobby’s fresh saliva still on it.
By now, Igor is so numb to the disgust that he presses the button to turn the water on for him.
Banani’s Wife
Wash your hands when you’re done.
Igor
That’s right, Nino. Remember: hygiene is everything.
Banani catches up with the group, running and waving his phone.
Banani
Guys, guess what… I’ve found our hiking trail for next week!
More Hiking
The following week, in an insane fit of subconscious masochism, the Papaia group’s families set off on their next hiking adventure.
Igor calls it “The Mosquito Trail”.
It’s a sort of nature trail where the main attraction is getting bitten by different types of mosquitoes. A bit like a safari. For example, there’s one with venom, and another that bites deeper.
By the end of the trail, hikers can appreciate the differences between the various types of bites.
The large group sets off, completely unaware of what’s waiting for them.
But the mosquitoes seem to have singled out Ravioli in particular.
He starts swatting at the air to keep them away. Then, with one quick slap, he squashes a tiger mosquito just as it bites him on the neck.
A park ranger immediately rushes over and stops him.
Ranger
Excuse me, did you see what you just did?
Ravioli
Yes, I got that mosquito right in the middle of a bite. This park is full of them.
Ranger
That mosquito, you say?
Ravioli
Yes, why? Is there a problem?
Ranger
Of course there’s a problem. Did you see the signs?
Ravioli
Which ones? Those?
Ranger
Yes, those ones.
Ravioli
But they say, “Do not disturb protected wildlife.” What’s that got to do with anything?
Ranger
Everything.
Didn’t you know that mosquitoes are the protected wildlife around here?
Ravioli
What?
Ranger
That’s right. And the one you just killed was an extremely rare Guatemalan green mosquito.
Ravioli
Seriously?
Ranger
Yes, and now I’m fining you £100.
Ravioli
No, wait! The mosquito attacked me first. It was self-defence!
Ranger
I’m afraid that won’t hold up.
Ravioli
Why not?
Ranger
Haven’t you figured it out? How do you think we keep all the mosquitoes in this park fed?
Ravioli
I don’t know… special mosquito food?
Ranger
More or less.
Ravioli
What do you mean?
Igor
We are the special mosquito food.
Ravioli gets his fine and carries on hiking, grumbling and getting bitten, without even daring to scratch himself anymore, in case he accidentally kills another rare mosquito.
Banani Falls Off a Cliff
At last, the families finally manage to pick the right hiking trail. They reach the high mountains, park their cars and start climbing along a spectacular path that’s suitable for everyone.
Banani is absolutely thrilled, but he needs to pee. He’s been holding it in since they left the motorway.
As they climb, he starts looking left and right, searching for a discreet little spot.
He tries to sneak off two or three times, but there are hikers coming down who might see him.
Finally, he finds a secluded little spot with a panoramic view of the valley. (It’s actually a cliff.)
Banani takes a step towards the bushes and looks around. He’s well hidden, but the trail is still visible. He takes another step forward. At last, he finds the privacy he’s been looking for.
Nobody can see him.
Banani starts doing what he came to do, but a group of hikers stops to chat right in front of the bush.
Just to be on the safe side, Banani takes another half-step forward…
And falls off the cliff.
(Don’t worry, though. He’ll survive to star in the next gag.)