Episode 2: Tough Decisions
In the boss’s office, the air is heavy. Perhaps it’s because of the half-eaten Mexican lunch sitting in its container, or maybe it’s the bad news looming over our scientists.
The four sit anxiously in chairs near the desk. The boss sits in his seat, looking extremely serious.
Boss: Gentlemen, I told you that if I ever heard you were wasting work hours again with that creationism nonsense…
Ravioli (suddenly interrupting): No, boss! I have nothing to do with those magazines! They’re Banani’s!
Banani: Hey, no! I only borrowed them. The magazines are Papaia’s!
Boss: What are you even talking about? What magazines?
Ravioli (awkwardly): Magazines… No, I mean… solar filters from the telescope… the ones that broke… yesterday… by accident.
Banani: No, no! They broke because you dropped them while checking the time, waiting for lunch!
Boss (shouting): Ravioli! Banani! Does my face look like I’m joking?
Banani: No, sir… of course not.
Ravioli (awkwardly): Sorry, boss. It won’t happen again.
The boss takes a deep breath, preparing to continue.
Boss: As I was saying, I spoke to the higher-ups, and they agreed with me to let you keep working at the observatory. But…
Banani (bursting into tears): Please don’t fire me… I have a family!
Boss (irritated): Banani! Are you deaf? Didn’t I just tell you and Ravioli not to interrupt me?
Banani (sobbing): Actually, boss, I am deaf in one ear. Anyway… sorry… I won’t do it again.
The boss buries his face in his hands, then quietly counts to three and strikes a yoga pose.
Boss: Didn’t I warn you that questioning the Big Bang isn’t tolerated at this observatory?
Papaia: Yes, boss, I remember you said that.
Boss: Then can you explain this note in your report?
Banani: What note?
Ravioli: What report?
Boss: Excuse me, Ravioli, but do you even work here?
Ravioli: I hope so, boss…
Boss: Papaia added a note to the end of your weekly data report about the “Hubble tension.”
Ravioli: Hubble? Who’s Hubble? Wait a second… isn’t that the new employee?
Banani: Yeah, yeah, it’s him. I noticed he’s a bit tense, but that’s normal—he just started a few days ago…
Ravioli: Papaia! Why did you mention the new employee in the report? It’s just about data…
The boss is banging his head against the wall.
Papaia: Gentlemen, when we talk about Hubble tension, we’re not referring to the new employee’s anxiety! It’s about a problem with the Hubble constant in cosmology!
Ravioli (clapping his hands): Of course! I knew it! Obviously, it’s cosmology. I knew that—I was just joking.
Banani (nervously laughing): Heh, heh! For a moment, we got confused. Naturally, everyone knows about the “Hubble pressure!”
Papaia: No, Banani, it’s not “pressure”; it’s “tension”… the “Hubble tension.”
Banani (pretending): Isn’t that what I just said? The “Hubble pension.”
Ravioli (whispering): Papaia, let it go—he’s deaf in one ear!
Boss: The “Hubble tension,” exactly. And here’s the problem: it’s in your report, Papaia!
Papaia: Are you referring to that final note, boss?
Boss: That’s right… I thought I was clear last time, but maybe I wasn’t…
Papaia: You were perfectly clear, boss. That was just a simple observation.
Boss: Let me read it to refresh your memory…
The boss rummages through some papers and finds Papaia’s report.
Boss: “…And since the value of the Hubble constant measured using cosmic radiation differs significantly from that measured using redshift, this suggests that our cosmological model may need to be reconsidered.”
Papaia: Yes, it’s the truth!
Boss: But don’t you understand? Didn’t I tell you the truth doesn’t pay your rent?
Papaia: You reminded me last time, boss.
Boss: Exactly. And you know very well that we’ve always attributed this problem to instrumentation errors!
Papaia: Boss, you know as well as I do that the instruments can’t produce such a large error.
Boss (frustrated): What’s wrong with you, Papaia? Do you want to get us all fired? It’s the instruments’ fault, end of story! That’s what the investors want to hear, and that’s what we tell them!
Papaia (lowering his gaze): I understand perfectly, boss.
Boss: Now imagine the effort it took me this morning to come up with excuses to cover for you.
Papaia: I’m sorry, boss. From now on, I’ll follow the agreed protocol.
Boss: Papaia, I’ve known you and your assistants for years. I know you’re good scientists, even if a bit distracted and clumsy. As far as I’m concerned, you can keep your jobs.
The four suddenly jump for joy, but the boss cuts them off.
Boss: But…
Papaia: But… what?
Boss: But… the higher-ups don’t see it my way. They want to ensure these incidents involving creationism won’t happen again.
Banani: Tell them not to worry.
Boss (sighing): It’s not that simple, Banani. Believe me! I had a tough meeting with them and convinced them not to fire you on the spot. They agreed… for now. But on one condition.
Ravioli: What condition?
Boss: You’ll need to… pass a test.
Papaia (laughing): Ha, ha! An astronomy test? That’ll be a piece of cake for us!
Boss: It’s not a technical test.
Banani: No? Then what kind of test is it?
Boss: A psychological test.
The four freeze for a moment, then look at each other with frightened faces.
Ravioli (whispering): They’ll find out we’re crazy?
Banani (whispering): Oh, Ravioli! Speak for yourself!
Boss: Maybe you don’t understand the gravity of the situation yet. Tomorrow morning, you’ll report to the psychologist’s office on the third floor, Room A. You’ll be evaluated and take a psycho-aptitude test. If you fail… you’re out!
Papaia: But…
Boss: No buts! Now, if you don’t mind, I have a lot of work to do.
The boss returns to his paperwork, flipping through some documents as Papaia and the others leave the office.
Igor: You know, Ravioli and Banani are starting to remind me of the new guy… nervous, confused, and clueless about astronomy. The only difference? He just started, and you’re just about… to get fired!