Part 1 of 22
Three scientists — Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli — and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, start getting interested in creationism. Their superiors, concerned, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.
We are in Faggioli’s office, where Papaia is undergoing a psychological evaluation.
Faggioli
And is it still like that today? I mean… do you still have to take care of your siblings?
Papaia
Yes, when they have a problem, they call me, and if I refuse to help…
Tony
… My little Papaiuccio! 🤣
Papaia
Exactly, Tony!
Faggioli
Are you talking to the sock? 🤣
Papaia
Me? … I thought that…
Faggioli
Interesting!
(Takes notes)
Papaia
No, no… wait! 🤣
Faggioli
Please, go on.
Papaia
Yes, alright. I was saying that if I refuse… well… mom convinces me to change my mind.
Faggioli
I’ve noticed your sister is a bit… of a spender.
Papaia (sighs)
Let’s just say… she has a demanding lifestyle.
Faggioli
Let’s talk about a specific incident.
Igor
Do you want a random one… or ranked by price?
Part 2 of 22
FLASHBACK. Papaia’s house. Living room. Afternoon. A few years ago.
Papaia opens the door and stops on the threshold, puzzled.
His sister is lying on the couch, wearing a white bathrobe, enormous sunglasses, and holding a pink cocktail with a tiny umbrella. On the coffee table: scattered papers, a golden fountain pen, and a financial advisor in a suit and tie.
Chantilly:
I just took out a small low-interest loan… for a twelve-session eyebrow treatment with phoenix wings effect. 🤣
Papaia:
Wings of what?!
(He looks at the estimate. The amount makes him jump.)
Papaia:
2,800 euros?! Are you insane?!
Chantilly (smiling):
If you want, I can get you a free waxing. 🤣
Papaia:
No, thanks! I’d rather keep my hair.
End flashback
Igor:
With Chantilly in the house, the only real phoenix was Papaia: he died every time the bank statement arrived… and was reborn with the next charge. 🤣
… but wait, it’s not that bad. Papaia even got a free waxing offer. 🤣
… Brilliant idea. At least, along with his chest hair, every last shred of dignity would’ve disappeared too. 🤣
Part 3 of 22
Interior. Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli
So your sister lived with you.
Papaia
Yes. That was before I got married.
Faggioli
You told me your sister is studying something called “Shopping Techniques.” Is that right?
Papaia
Yes. It’s an online program. But the exams are in person.
Faggioli
Interesting. And… what exactly does it consist of?
Papaia
Honestly, I’ve never fully understood… I just pay the tuition. But once, I took her to an exam.
FLASHBACK. University classroom turned into a shopping mall.
A huge stopwatch hangs above the registers. At the examiner’s whistle, a group of female students dash toward the shelves like Olympic athletes.
Papaia’s sister is wearing a tactical backpack, padded knee pads, and quick-grip gloves. She dives into the discount clothes with acrobatic moves, grabbing coats and jeans before the others. 🤣
Another student tries to grab a beige trench coat.
Student:
I saw it first!
Chantilly (growling):
It’s mine! I wrote my thesis on this trench! 🤣
In the chaos, Papaia staggers under the weight of six bags full of clothes. 🤣
End of flashback.
Back to Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli:
It seems your sister has a sort of obsession with shopping… and beauty treatments.
Papaia:
Yes, and believe me, they’re not cheap.
Igor:
Ah, university… the temple of knowledge. But instead of taking notes, Chantilly and her classmates were taking half-price designer coats. 🤣
…Chantilly was just putting into practice what the professor said on the first day: “The difference between a war and a sale? Sales are fought with more ferocity.” 🤣
…What kind of university is this… they let students bring their own assistants? Or was it a team exam: one shops, the other collapses? 🤣
Part 4 of 22
Waiting room.
Ravioli
We also talked about comets.
Paco
Yes. A comet spends most of its time far from the Sun, in the deep cold of space.
Banani
But once per orbit, it gets very close to the Sun.
Paco
That’s right. And in doing so, the Sun’s heat causes much of the ice to evaporate and lifts up dust.
Ravioli
And that’s how the tail forms.
Banani
A beautiful phenomenon to witness.
Paco
But comets have little mass, so each close pass to the Sun greatly reduces their size.
Banani
So, over time, comets vanish!
Paco
Exactly. And that’s why they can’t survive for billions of years.
Ravioli
So, the fact that comets still exist tells us that the universe can’t be billions of years old.
Paco
Exactly, Ravioli. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have any comets left!
Part 5 of 22
FLASHBACK – Living room turned into a wellness center
Chantilly is lying on a spa bed, wearing sunglasses and a towel wrapped around her head. The beautician and hairdresser move between bottles and hairdryers. Papaia enters and slips on a fallen face mask.
Beautician:
“Okay, now we apply the seaweed.”
Chantilly:
“Only the oceanic kind, okay? The others give me allergies.”
Hairdresser:
“Shall I start with the color?”
Chantilly:
“Phoenix Blonde, as always. And be gentle—I’m delicate today.” 🤣
Beautician (to another):
“Fabia, go get the tweezers—the pink glittery ones.” 🤣
Chantilly (to Papaia):
“If you’re going to hang around, at least make me a chamomile tea. But organic.”
Papaia:
This used to be my house… 🤣
Chantilly:
We don’t want to call Mom, do we?
Papaia:
No, no! Of course not!
Papaia, now resigned, heads to the kitchen to make the tea. He walks past the spa bed but…
…trips on a cucumber slice that slid off Chantilly’s face. He crashes into the table, sending bottles of cream and face masks flying everywhere. 🤣
Chantilly:
Careful! That was the hyaluronic acid cream—it costs more than your salary! 🤣
Beautician:
Oops… that one was new. We hadn’t even opened it yet.
Papaia stands up, covered in cream and seaweed. The doorbell rings.
Hairdresser (checking the tablet):
The payment terminal has arrived.
Chantilly (excited):
Ah, perfect! So, how much is today?
Beautician (checks):
Let’s see… ‘Phoenix Wings’ package, ‘Gold Phoenix’ color, organic seaweed, glitter tweezers, damage fee… total: €1,140.
Chantilly (to Papaia):
Your turn now… Papaiuccio! 🤣
Tony:
Ah ah ah! Deluxe treatment, deluxe bill… for the village idiot! 🤣
Igor:
Apparently, Chantilly had a phoenix obsession…
…Too bad the only thing rising from the ashes was Papaia’s credit card bill. 🤣
…Excuse me, but what made Chantilly think the phoenix was blonde? 🤣
…Maybe it caught fire after one too many bleach jobs? 🤣
…Ah, the tale of Papaia: from homeowner… to human teabag. 🤣
…If I were you, I’d at least ask for a chamomile sachet as rent. 🤣
…Chantilly threatens to call Mom.
Papaia trips on a cucumber.
A new case… for Inspector Banani. 🤣
Banani (frightened):
Who, me?
Igor (serious):
Who’s the real victim here?
Chantilly, the guest who reeked of mint mask? 🤣
The mom, with her fake heart attacks on the phone? 🤣
Papaia, unable to say no? 🤣
Banani (in crisis):
I… I don’t know…
Igor (conclusive, solemn):
I’ll tell you.
The real victim…
…was the cucumber. 🤣
Part 6 of 22
Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli
And why didn’t your sister stay living with your mother?
Papaia
My mom lives in another city. While my place is closer to where Chantilly takes her exams… or at least that’s the excuse.
FLASHBACK – NASAL interior.
Papaia is working very focused near the telescope.
Technician
Professor, it’s ready for the measurement.
Papaia
Yes! All set. Just in time.
Technician
Perfect! Two minutes to the solar storm.
Papaia
The solar storm of the century. Phenomena like this don’t happen every day!
Technician
That’s why it’s important to take the measurement at exactly the right moment!
Right then, the phone rings. On the display: “MOM”🤣
Papaia (worried, answers):
“Mom? I’m in the middle of a very important experiment, can I call you back—”
Mom (sharp):
“Your sister lost her university housing. She’s coming to live with you.”🤣
Papaia
Huh?
Mom
You have to go open the door for her. And help her with the suitcases. You know there are many.
Papaia
Bring… suitcases… yes, yes! I’ll open right away! Ah, no! Wait! There’s a problem…
Mom
Papaiuccio! What are you talking about?
Papaia
I’m not home. I’m at NASAL.🤣
Technician
But, professor… didn’t you turn off your phone?
Mom
Then you have to run there immediately!
Papaia
I can’t! I’m in the middle of an experiment.
Technician
Here we go! Countdown starts! 5… 4… 3…
Papaia
Mom! I have to hang up, talk later…
Mom
Wait! No! I feel the pressure rising…🤣
Papaia
Mom… understand me. I have to start the procedure on time…
Technician
Too late. The experiment failed. The next chance to measure this phenomenon is in 125 years.🤣
Part 7 of 22
Faggilli’s office.
Faggioli (taking notes):
Is your sister married?
Papaia:
No.
Faggioli:
Does she plan to get married?
Papaia:
Yes. The problem is… she’s a bit too picky.
Faggioli:
What do you mean by “picky”?
FLASHBACK – Romantic evening in an elegant restaurant.
Papaia’s sister is seated at a candlelit table. Across from her is a kind, well-dressed guy with a reassuring smile.
Boyfriend (pulls out a ring):
“I love you. I have a steady job, my own apartment… will you marry me?”
She looks at the ring, then slowly raises her eyes and asks, ice-cold:
Sister:
“What kind of car do you drive?” 🤣
Boyfriend (proudly):
“A midnight-blue Dacia Duster. Euro 6, low fuel consu—”
Sister (cuts him off):
“Oh. No.”
She stands up, grabs her purse, and leaves without another word. The guy is left sitting there with the ring in his hand and his mouth hanging open.
End of flashback.
Back to Faggioli’s office.
Papaia (resigned):
“To her, love is only real if it comes with alloy wheels.”
Igor:
Excuse me… but Chantilly was right. The guy proposed and she didn’t even know what car he drove? 🤣
… how long had they known each other? Two hours? 🤣
Part 8 of 22
Waiting room.
Banani:
One time, Papaia told us that comets can end in other ways too.
Paco:
Yes, that’s true. There are two other mechanisms that can destroy comets: ejection from the solar system and collisions with planets.
Ravioli:
Oh yeah? You mean comets can leave the solar system?
Paco:
Exactly. Ejections happen when comets pass too close to the giant planets—especially Jupiter—and the gravity of those planets slingshots them out of the solar system.
Banani:
So basically, they get “fired out” by Jupiter’s enormous gravity!
Paco:
You said it!
Ravioli:
And does that happen often?
Paco:
Fairly often. In fact, ejections have been observed many times.
Banani:
And collisions with planets happen when comets get even closer?
Paco:
Too close, I’d say—so close that they get pulled in by the planet’s gravitational field.
Ravioli:
And that happens a lot?
Paco:
It’s a rarer phenomenon. In fact, the first observed collision was in 1994, when comet Shoemaker-Levy IX crashed into Jupiter.
Part 9 of 22
Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli:
So, let’s say she’s a bit materialistic?
Papaia:
I assure you, the only topic I’ve ever seen her show interest in is luxury.
Tony:
And what does she need a husband for? Papaia’s already paying all her bills! Ahaha! 🤣
Papaia:
Wait, Tony. Now that I think of it… she did fall in love once!
Igor:
Technically, Chantilly isn’t looking for a soulmate… she’s looking for a compatible bank account. 🤣
FLASHBACK – Inside a bank
Chantilly is sitting in front of a bank clerk with a crooked tie and thick glasses.
Clerk:
I’m sorry, miss. We can’t approve another loan. Besides, it shows here that your name is on the blacklist of bad payers.
Chantilly:
But it’s not my fault! It’s my brother who didn’t pay on time.
Clerk:
Excuse me? The account is under your name.
Chantilly:
No, excuse me. But that’s splitting hairs! Everyone knows Papaia pays my bills. I don’t see why we’re getting lost in these insignificant details. 🤣
Clerk:
Ma’am. That doesn’t sound insignificant to me. You’re an adult and responsible for your own bills. Your brother has nothing to do with your problems.
Chantilly:
That’s too much! I’m calling Mom right now! She’s got a solid argument to present to you!
Chantilly (to herself):
Yeah, a very solid argument… the baseball bat. 🤣
Suddenly, a robber wearing a ski mask bursts in.
Robber (shouting):
Everybody down! This is a robbery!
Chantilly dives to the ground, but slowly lifts her head.
The robber points a gun at the cashier and tosses him a plastic bag.
Robber (to the cashier):
You! Put the money in here!
Waves the gun.
Robber:
And make it full!
Chantilly watches the robber, his bag stuffed with banknotes, his confident stance. Her eyes glisten, the scene slows down slightly.
Sister (whispering):
He’s… the man I’ve been looking for… 🤣
Faggioli (voice-over):
Now he knew how to get a loan! 🤣
The robber notices her.
The cashier hands over the full bag.
The robber quickly checks it.
Robber:
Good!
He points again at the cashier.
Robber:
Hands on the counter! And no funny business!
Then threatens the customers on the ground.
Robber:
And the rest of you, stay down! No funny moves!
He fires a shot in the air. Everyone flinches.
Robber (to Chantilly):
You! You’re coming with me! 🤣
He grabs her as a hostage to flee. She smiles dreamily as they exit the bank.
End of flashback.
Back to Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli:
And she fell in love with the robber?
Part 10 of 22
Igor
Chantilly considered the name on the loan a ridiculous and insignificant detail…
…like the ATM PIN, the card’s expiration date, or the very concept of consequences. 🤣
…In Papaia’s family, “talking calmly” means deciding whether to grip the bat with one or two hands. 🤣
…Chantilly had a crush on the robber. Love at first robbery. 🤣
…Some dream of a man with flowers… others of one with a full sack and a criminal record. 🤣
…Finally, a man who made her feel safe… by threatening everyone with a Glock. 🤣
…That’s not love… it’s deluxe Stockholm Syndrome. 🤣
…She fell in love at first shot. So romantic. 🤣
…When he said, “Hands up!”, she thought it was a proposal. 🤣
…Finally a man who wouldn’t ask her to pay… He just stole everything directly! 🤣
…There was tension, danger, money… all that was missing were the wedding favors. 🤣
…One day you’re in a bank, the next you’re picking wedding rings with someone wanted in three provinces. 🤣
…Finally, a man who knows how to assert himself… with a firearm. 🤣
…Her ideal type? Tall, charming… and a rap sheet a mile long. 🤣
…Some want a man with a bank account… she wants one who empties the bank directly. 🤣
…When the robber said “come with me,” he had no idea what was waiting for him… He went in for a robbery, came out in a toxic relationship with a manicure set included. 🤣
…That “you come with me” cost him three credit cards and a mortgage on his freedom. 🤣
…He went from outlaw to caregiver in under a minute. 🤣
…The truth? The real hostage… was him. 🤣
…He thought he was running from justice. Instead, he found Chantilly. 🤣
…The robber wanted cash. He got a loyalty card from the beauty salon. 🤣
Part 11 of 22
FLASHBACK – NASAL, coffee break room
Papaia is at the coffee machine, stirring his plastic cup when his phone rings. On the display: “Mom.”
Papaia (answers):
“Hello, Mom?”
Mom (agitated):
“Papaia! Your sister hasn’t come home for days! She’s not answering messages! I haven’t heard from her since Tuesday!”
Papaia (sighs):
“Uh… actually, she called me really quickly yesterday. Said she was fine.”
Mom:
“Fine where?! And with whom?!”
Papaia:
“She didn’t say. She only said she was happy… sounded like she was in a car.”
Papaia looks out the window, thoughtful. The distant roar of a car speeding off is heard.
NASAL Technician (passing by):
“Did you hear that screech too?” 🤣
Papaia:
“Yes… unfortunately!”
FLASHBACK – A week later, on a country road
The sister and the robber are in a stolen car speeding down the road.
Chantilly (holding onto him):
“Finally someone who knows how to take what they want!” 🤣
Sirens. The police stop them. The robber is arrested. She is taken to the station.
End of flashback.
Faggioli’s office.
Papaia:
“Isn’t that strange?”
Faggioli:
“I’d say no… classic!”
Igor:
“Take what she wants, huh? Like… three years probation?” 🤣
Part 12 of 22
FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE
Faggioli:
“But now she doesn’t live with you anymore, right?”
Papaia:
“No… Not anymore. I got married. But at first, she still lived with us…”
FLASHBACK. PAPAIA’S APARTMENT. EVENING
Papaia and his wife are sitting on the bed. The door is closed. In the distance, the sister can be heard laughing while watching a shopping channel in the living room.
Wife:
“We have to tell her. We can’t go on like this, it’s our home, not an outlet warehouse.”
Papaia:
“I know… it’s just that… she doesn’t have anywhere else. And she’s my sister…”
Wife:
“She’s eating our dinner while wearing my robe and speaking to Alexa in French. If you don’t say anything, I will.”
Cut to living room. The sister is lying on a chaise lounge, wearing a bathrobe and a face mask. She’s eating macarons from a golden box and stroking a cashmere pashmina.
Papaia:
“Um… we need to talk to you about something.”
Chantilly:
“Mmm? If it’s about the remote, I already booked movie night. Tonight they’re showing Pretty Woman Deluxe Restored Shopping Edition.” 🤣
Wife:
“No. It’s about… living together. We… were wondering if maybe you had thought about finding your own place.”
Chantilly (dramatic pause, then sets down macaron):
“My own place? Of course. I’ve thought of everything. A tent on the terrace. An abandoned doghouse. Maybe I’ll pretend to be an ornamental vase in the mall and stay there.” 🤣
Papaia (confused):
“So… you don’t have a plan?”
Chantilly (with faint, tragic voice):
“Papaia… I have nothing else. Everything I own is here. My memories… my collection of thermal pink salt patches… my cruelty-free silk pillowcases.”
Wife (shaken but determined):
“We don’t have anything else either. Like: living space.” 🤣
Papaia (looking at her, unsure):
“Maybe we can find a compromise… maybe… a whole room for you…”
Wife (cutting):
“What a coincidence. That’s the one I sleep in.” 🤣
Igor:
“Pretty Woman Deluxe Restored Shopping Edition?
Is that the new edition where Julia Roberts learns to pay… with Papaia’s credit card?🤣
… Chantilly’s new ‘place’? Pretending to be an ornamental vase? Or maybe she becomes a store mannequin… at least she’ll stop wearing Papaia’s wife’s robe. 😏
… The wife claimed that with Chantilly and all her stuff, there was no more living space left. Well, technically, there’s still space… between the cream jars and the aroma diffuser. Just have to sleep curled up. 😌
… What a great idea, Papaia! Giving your room to Chantilly. That way Chantilly finally gets an en suite bathroom… and you get to discover the sofa bed in ‘survival mode’!🤣”
Part 13 of 22
Waiting room.
Ravioli
How long does it take for a comet to “burn out”?
Paco
A long time, but not forever.
Considering the rates of loss, it’s easy to calculate a maximum age for comets. This maximum age is only a few million years.
Banani
So how do we explain that there are so many of them?
Paco
Obviously, their abundance makes sense only if the entire solar system was created just a few thousand years ago, but not if it formed billions of years ago.
Part 14 of 22
FLASHBACK. TWO WEEKS LATER.
Papaia’s wife (annoyed):
“This apartment is a mess! There are bags everywhere, and the oven is occupied by a UV nail lamp!”🤣
Papaia (trying to downplay):
“It’s just a creative phase… Chantilly is going through an inner renewal period.”
Papaia’s wife (pointing at the table, exasperated):
“Esthetic treatment quotes, a glitter wig, and a flaxseed yogurt forgotten for three days! Is it renewal or decomposition?”🤣
Papaia (confused):
“Maybe the yogurt is part of… the facial treatment?”
He opens the shower door and freezes at the scene: a tower of shampoo, conditioners, three teacups, a pink blanket, and the facial steamer turned on.
Papaia (shouting):
“You can’t live in here anymore!”🤣
Papaia’s wife (from outside, now desperate):
“If your sister doesn’t move out by tomorrow, I’m moving out.”
Papaia:
“Wait… let’s find a solution!”
Too late. His wife is already at the door, suitcase in hand.
Wife (coldly):
“It’s either her or me. Choose.”
Chantilly is sitting on the bed, surrounded by clothes, with a towel turban on her head and cucumber slices on her eyes.🤣
Chantilly (without moving):
“Don’t exaggerate! If needed, I can free up the oven…”🤣
Igor
Ah, yes! The UV nail lamp in the oven. Classic “post-apocalyptic nail spa with dinner service included” style home.🤣
…yogurt decomposing? I’d say more like… a sensory journey… between beauty treatment and mold.🤣
…when Papaia moved the shower curtain, that steamer made him change his mind… realizing the only steam there was from his nervous breakdown.🤣
…Chantilly knew it: it’s known that when a relationship is in crisis, the only way out is… giving back the oven.🤣
Part 15 of 22
FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE – DAY
Faggioli
“But then did you tell her? How did she react?”
Papaia
“Not… very well.”
FLASHBACK. PAPAIA’S APARTMENT.
The doorbell rings. Papaia opens the door. A courier with a pallet jack is dragging a huge mirror with a golden frame shaped like angel wings.
Courier:
“Delivery for… the miss. ‘Full body motivational transformational mirror.’”🤣
Papaia (swallows):
“Another one?”🤣
His wife peeks from the hallway, slams a door.
Wife (exasperated):
“Enough. Either you talk to your sister, or I do. But this time with a megaphone.”
—
A little later. Chantilly is in the living room, busy photographing the new mirror for social media. Hashtag: #NewMe.
Papaia (uncomfortable):
“Uhm… can we talk for a moment?”
Chantilly (without turning):
“If it’s about the bathroom: I’ll be there in ten minutes. I’m channeling my inner energy.”🤣
Papaia:
“It’s about… all this. The living situation. It’s getting difficult.”
She slowly turns around, removing a moisturizing glove from one hand with dramatic slowness.
Chantilly:
“Difficult for who?”
Papaia (trying to stay calm):
“For everyone. I… I think it’s time for you to… find your own place. Maybe temporary, with mom.”
Silence. His sister stares at him like he just told her to jump off a bridge.
Chantilly (hurt):
“You want to… kick me out? You? The brother who brought me tea when my shoes hurt me?!”
Papaia:
“That’s not exactly it…”
Chantilly (standing up, theatrical):
“No. It’s worse. It’s a betrayal.”
Igor
Another giant swan-shaped mirror?
At this point, the motivational mirror should have started motivating the courier.🤣
…Chantilly was channeling inner energy. Papaia, don’t rush! Either you let her channel it… or mom’ll channel you—with a baseball bat.🤣
Inner energy… versus kinetic energy.🤣
Part 16 of 22
Flashback. Living room. A few hours later.
Papaia
“Hey, little sister… big news! I found you a studio apartment. Cute, cheerful, it even has that mirror with the built-in light.”
Chantilly
“A studio apartment? And that’s supposed to be big news?”
Papaia
“Well, yes! It’s the first step towards your… emancipation. And it’s just a few minutes from the university campus. More convenient for your exams!”
Chantilly
“You’re trying to kick me out.”
Papaia
“No! No, no… it’s a proposal. A kind one. Supported by your sister-in-law. With a threatening tone.”🤣
Chantilly
“Fine. Let’s hear what Mom thinks.”
Papaia
I already called her. She agrees with me.
Chantilly
You’re bluffing. Nice try. But I’m not falling for it.
She dials the number, throwing accusing looks at Papaia.
Chantilly (furious on the phone):
“Mom, Papaia wants to kick me out! He says I should live in a studio apartment with a parking lot view! Please tell me I’m crazy!”
Mom (sharp):
“Crazy? Crazy is still going out with that unemployed stuntman!”
Chantilly (shocked, incredulous):
“…Excuse me? What did you just say?”
Mom (pressing):
“Teo, yes. The one who lives day to day and trains by jumping off sofas. 🤣
… What future do you think you have with someone like that? At least in that studio you’ll be farther from him… and closer to university.”
Chantilly (slowly, in a low voice):
“…But… how do you know about Teo?”
(Cold pause. Then the firm reply.)
Mom:
“Your brother told me.”
Chantilly slowly lowers the phone. She stares at Papaia with a betrayed look, as if she didn’t recognize him.
Chantilly (low voice, full of venom):
“You. You talked about Teo. To Mom.”
Papaia
Sorry… but it was the only way.
Chantilly (like a humiliated queen):
“I never expected a stab in the back from my own blood. We slept under the same roof, Papaia.”
Papaia
I’m sorry, but Clara would have left me.
Chantilly (dramatic):
“Fine. I’m leaving. But I’ll write a poem about this betrayal. And I’ll read it to my audience on Instagram.”🤣
Papaia
“Just make sure you read it from your new studio apartment.”
A few hours later, Chantilly, with three suitcases, a makeup bag, a shoe holder, and two neon synthetic coats, is getting into a taxi. Papaia holds the door open for her.
Chantilly (cold):
“I’ll pick up the other stuff later.”
Papaia
“I’m sorry.”
Chantilly (getting into the taxi):
“Not me.”
The taxi drives off.
End of flashback.
Igor
The wife’s proposal was a polite one… like those letters from the tax agency: courteous, but just reading them makes your hands sweat.🤣
…Papaia snitched on Teo. The only man who truly leveled up… by throwing himself onto the living room rug.🤣
…Chantilly’s revenge was not to be underestimated. She wanted to write a poem against Papaia and read it publicly…
…in fact, she was ready to turn Papaia into the most viral meme on the internet! 🤣
…Papaia would regret kicking Chantilly out… now who would understand Alexa answering in French? 🤣
Part 17 of 22
Waiting room.
Ravioli
And what do evolutionary astronomers say in response?
Paco
They responded to this issue by claiming that comets must come from two sources.
Banani
Oh yeah? And which ones?
Paco
They propose that a Kuiper Belt, beyond Neptune’s orbit, hosts the short-period comets (those with orbits under 200 years), and that a much larger and more distant Oort Cloud hosts the long-period comets (with orbits over 200 years).
Banani
Is that possible?
Paco
No. Let me explain…
Part 18 of 22
Faggioli’s office
Faggioli
So how did it end?
Papaia
Chantilly got married and now lives in a house she owns.
Faggioli
Really? But earlier you said she wasn’t married.
Papaia
No. Actually, today she’s divorced. She married a rich guy, and the house was given to her by the judge in the divorce.
Faggioli
A real jackpot! Also for you, Papaia, saving on rent.🤣
Papaia
Indeed, things worked out.
Faggioli
Tell me how it went. We still have about half an hour to fill…🤣
Igor
By this point, Faggioli had long stopped taking notes… and was already looking for popcorn! 🤣
—
FLASHBACK BLACK FRIDAY. MORNING.
Outside a perfume shop. Cold lights, a wild crowd pressed behind the transparent doors. In the front row, Papaia’s sister wears sporty sunglasses, compression tracksuit, and shopping grip gloves. Eyes fixed on the automatic door.
On the other side of the glass door, a security guard checks that everything is under control.
Mall announcer (metallic voice):
“Attention. The doors will open… NOW.”
But Chantilly, too hyped, violently throws open the door before everyone else. The glass pane hits the security guard full in the face, knocking him backward to the ground, KO.🤣
As the crowd rushes like a pack of wild animals, Chantilly runs over.
Chantilly (worried, kneeling beside him):
“Oh no! You have a beautiful jaw… are you there? Can you hear me?”
He slowly opens one eye. She looks closely at him. He, with a hoarse voice:
Security:
“What a hit… right on target. You… fight?”
Chantilly (sighing):
“Only for what’s worth it.”🤣
Their eyes meet. Love at first sight. Romantic music distorted by a crazy Bluetooth speaker.
Igor
From that day, the surveillance camera staff nicknamed her the Bulldozer.
Not only dangerous… but unstoppable. 🤣
What things is Chantilly willing to fight for? Here’s the list:
– over 100 euros 🤣
– at least 50% off 🤣
– preferably limited edition 🤣
– and, of course, with an Instagrammable package 🤣
Part 19 of 22
FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE – BACK TO PRESENT
Papaia
And that’s how it all started.
Faggioli
Yeah, but didn’t you say the guy had loads of money? Then why was he working as a bouncer?
Papaia
Actually, the bouncer job was just to fund his boxing career.
Faggioli
A boxer? Still not seeing any of that money. 🤣
Papaia
Not just any boxer—he became world champion.
Igor
A boxer? Well, at least he was better than the last guy.
Instead of flopping onto Papaia’s couch like Teo, the unemployed stuntman…
…the boxer punched it to train. 🤣
—
FLASHBACK – WORLD BOXING CHAMPIONSHIP
A packed arena, blinding lights, crowd going wild.
Chantilly’s husband has just won the heavyweight world title.
Bruised all over, but triumphant, he stands in the center of the ring, arms raised high.
The announcer yells into the mic:
Announcer:
“Ladies and gentlemen! The new heavyweight champion of the world… Rocco ‘Shopping Fist’ Bianchiiii!!!”
The crowd goes wild.
Rocco, bleeding but energized, grabs the mic and starts shouting with raw emotion:
Rocco (sobbing and yelling):
“CHAAANTILLYYYYY!!!” 🤣
He keeps screaming her name, stumbling through confetti and camera flashes, searching for her in the stands.
Rocco:
“CHAAANTILLYYYYY!!!” 🤣
Chantilly is seated in the crowd: blush satin dress, pink faux fur coat, waterproof makeup untouched.
Rocco pushes through fans, tossing aside two PR staffers. 🤣
She runs to the ring.
They embrace. Kisses, tears, camera flashes.
The commentator, moved to tears:
Commentator:
“This wasn’t just a match won…
…it was the triumph of love. And shopping.” 🤣
—
FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE – BACK TO PRESENT
Faggioli
Now I get it. Your sister hit the jackpot! 🤣
Igor
Exactly, Faggioli. Their relationship was built on this:
Rocco was the champ in the ring…
…but at home, he was just a walking wallet. 🤣
…He paid, carried the bags, and every now and then got to hold the receipt. 🤣
…While Rocco fought for glory, Chantilly fought for 70% off. 🤣
…Each month, Rocco defended a title belt. Each month, Chantilly replaced it with a vegan leather one. 🤣
…Rocco was the boxer. But the one who KO’d the bank account… was her. 🤣
Part 20 of 22
Waiting Room.
Ravioli
What were we saying?
Paco
We were talking about two hypothetical sources of comets that evolutionist astronomers use to solve the problem of comets running out too quickly.
Banani
Ah, yes. You were explaining why this idea doesn’t work.
Paco
It’s not that it doesn’t work. The problem is that there’s no proof of the existence of the supposed Oort cloud, and there probably never will be.
Ravioli
And why are you so sure about that?
Paco
See, Ravioli, in the last twenty years, astronomers have discovered thousands of asteroids orbiting beyond Neptune, and it’s assumed they make up the Kuiper belt.
Banani
Yeah, so? Doesn’t that support their hypothesis?
Paco
The problem is the large size of these asteroids (Pluto is one of the biggest) and the difference in composition between these asteroids and comets casts doubt on this conclusion.
Ravioli
Sorry, I don’t get it. Why can’t comets come from there?
Paco
Let me explain. Suppose comets did come from there. What would you expect to find when observing with a telescope?
Banani
The comets themselves?
Paco
Obviously! But instead, we find objects much larger than the comets we usually observe.
Ravioli
Maybe they could form because of a collision?
Paco
Yes, that’s possible, but highly unlikely, and even if it happened, the material those asteroids are made of isn’t the same as what we observe in comets.
Banani
Ah, I see. If the comets really came from there, we should find them with the same size and chemical composition.
Paco
Exactly! But that doesn’t happen!
Part 21 of 2
Faggioli’s Office.
Faggioli:
So, how did it go?
Papaia:
The marriage lasted three months. Then they divorced, but she got the house.
Faggioli:
Well, at least one problem was solved.
Papaia:
Yeah, but the boxer’s pension only covers her shoes… the rest is on me.🤣
Igor
Poor Rocco. He lost the title, the house, and the credit card.🤣
NASAL.
Papaia is watching a comet passing by. The technician is busy adjusting settings at the nearby station.
Technician:
It’ll arrive in a minute, be ready, professor. It’s a rare chance.
Papaia:
Yes, yes, I’ve got everything under control! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Suddenly Papaia’s phone rings, breaking the observation mood.
Papaia (answers the phone):
Hello?
Chantilly (anxious voice):
Hi, Papaia… I got divorced.🤣
Papaia (surprised):
Divorced? But… what happened?
Chantilly:
I was at the boutique… the card wouldn’t go through… I called him… and you know what he said?
Papaia:
What did he say?
Chantilly:
He told me “take a dress off the bill”… can you believe it? He asked me to cancel a purchase!🤣
Papaia:
What?
Chantilly
(breaks into tears)
And I left him immediately! Such humiliation! In front of everyone! Me… leaving a dress in the store?!
Papaia:
What do you mean?
Chantilly:
(Not listening)
…but, thank God the judge gave me the house. That’s it, nothing else to say.🤣
Papaia:
Wait, are you telling me you left him over a dress?🤣
Chantilly:
It’s not just a dress, Papaia. You don’t get it. As usual. Forget it. It’s complicated! Anyway, the house is mine, and that’s what counts!🤣
Papaia:
Ah, good… but…
Sister:
Hi, talk later.
She hangs up.
Papaia closes the phone, looking at the sky, clearly confused.
Technician:
Have you taken the measurements, professor?
Papaia:
Uhm… yes. I’m sending them now.
Clicks the mouse. The technician receives something on his computer. He opens it.
Technician:
What is this?
On the screen, a high-res photo zoomed in on Ravioli’s face, who from the window of the other pavilion, mouth open, is about to eat one of his little pizzas.🤣
Papaia:
Oops! Here’s what happened. I switched the angles.
Technician:
Perfect. Maybe we should send this to the “close encounters of the third kind” department.🤣
End of flashback.
Part 22 of 22
Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli
Papaia, this story about the comet and your sister… it’s turning into a soap opera!
Papaia
But… Faggioli, it happened a long time ago. I don’t…
Faggioli
No, listen! This exactly confirms what I was telling you before: a distraction mechanism. You can’t focus! You’re risking your job.
Papaia
I… didn’t mean to. It’s just that…
Faggioli
But the good news is we have one more reason to fire you.🤣
Uh… I meant… “understand you.”
… understand your problems and fire you better…
… I mean help you better.🤣
Papaia
Thanks, thanks.
Tony
The camera is recording everything! Remember that, Faggioli!
Faggioli
Yes, of course. That’s the important thing.
Tony
Then we’ll do some nice editing on the video! Copy from here… paste over there!🤣
Faggioli
Yes! And that’s done!
Papaia
But what are you guys talking about?
Faggioli
Excuse me, professor, but who are you talking to?
Papaia
To her and the… sock.
Faggioli
What sock? There’s no sock here. 🤣
Papaia
Yes, there is, you were just using it a moment ago!
Faggioli
Hmm… interesting!
Takes notes.
Igor
By the end of the video, it’ll look like Faggioli saved a panda, adopted an orphan, and hugged Papaia. All in three minutes. 🤣
…Tony says with two cuts and a vintage filter, even Faggioli looks human. But a miracle is needed in post-production.🤣
…In the final edit, Papaia seemed to be asking to be fired. And Faggioli looked like he was hesitating out of pity.🤣