As I said before, I know this guy named Igor who works as an assistant at the NASAL observatory for three bumbling scientists.
Papaia is the forgetful leader, Banani is always messing things up, and Ravioli just thinks about food. Igor always has stories about the chaos they’ve caused.
I was talking about the time they suddenly remembered, right at the last minute, that they had to go to a work conference.
And so Igor and the scientists are working at the observatory, just like every day. Ravioli says he bought a ‘new’ used book. He claims he found it on sale at a stall. But something doesn’t add up for Banani. The book is used and also … on sale? And do you know how Ravioli responds? He says the owner loved coffee excessively!
Banani still hasn’t realized that the book was covered in coffee! And Ravioli bought it anyway! Can you believe how stingy this guy is? At this point, normal people would change the subject. Instead, Banani asks him what the title is. What do you think? Maybe he wanted to borrow it?
Anyway, Ravioli reveals the title: ‘Five Minimal Facts about the Resurrection of Christ.’ At this point, Papaia chimes in. He didn’t think Ravioli was interested in ‘this kind of topics.’ So it turns out that Ravioli bought it by mistake; he actually thought it was a cookbook. Banani is perplexed. How did Ravioli confuse a book on apologetics with a cookbook? Ravioli explains that it was lunchtime, and he was as hungry as ever. So he read the title ‘Five Minty Tarts from the Restaurants of Cyprus.’ Now Banani is completely lost. How could Ravioli make such a huge mistake? Ravioli replies that he was so hungry he couldn’t see straight.
Papaia seems unusually interested in the topic. The book discusses the historical evidence for the resurrection of Jesus. Ravioli took the matter quite lightly, but Papaia reminds him that ‘we cannot underestimate the impact of Jesus on history.’ And so Igor concludes, ‘When Ravioli is hungry, it’s better to keep him away from the chemistry lab!’ And I ask, ‘Why, Igor?’ And Igor says, ‘Otherwise, he might cook up some … explosive recipes!’
As I was saying, Papaia and company are working at the observatory. You know, doing those measurements scientists always do. And Ravioli was talking about that apologetics book he accidentally bought second-hand.Now, they’ve just finished talking, and everyone is back to focusing on their work.
But suddenly, Papaia smacks his forehead with all his might. The other two jump half a meter in the air out of shock. What’s wrong with Papaia? Guess what… He forgot they must leave for the conference today! Papaia! How could you forget something so important? It’s the dark matter conference! Their work depends on it.
But Papaia has a little good-news-bad-news trick up his sleeve. Ravioli gets the good one, which is that Papaia already bought the tickets. And Banani is left with no choice but to ask for the bad news, which is that the flight… is in two hours!
Can you believe how distracted Papaia is? One minute they were talking about used books on sale, and the next, they’re racing against time to the airport.
So they start cramming their bags with useless stuff as fast as they can. At this point, I say to Igor, “Hey, wait a second! Why don’t they just pack the essentials?” And Igor replies that, to him, it’s still a mystery.
Meanwhile, Banani and Ravioli go back to discussing the book. Banani is surprised that there could be real evidence that Jesus rose from the dead. Ravioli replies that the book seems to approach the topic with a certain objectivity. Finally, Papaia admits he’s never read the Bible, which was obviously expected.
At that point, Igor remembers thinking that rather than having brilliant minds, those scientists seem to have minds made of… dark matter!
So Papaia is calling a taxi. Meanwhile, the other two are finishing packing their bags and continue talking about Ravioli’s book.
Banani saw a TV program about the Gospels, where New Testament scholars criticize these books, claiming they are full of errors. But Ravioli, with his book, has the answer ready. The evidence for the resurrection comes from the very material those liberal scholars have examined and accepted.
But Banani, distracted by the conversation, forced too much to close the already overstuffed suitcases. In the end, Banani broke all the zippers, leaving the bags half open. But don’t worry! Banani is always the one to come up with improvised solutions for everything. Ehm… no! It’s too late. Papaia is saying that the taxi has arrived.
They have to rush down to the street immediately. So, in the midst of the stress, No one pays attention to details as they run out. “Oh, no! The elevator is broken,” Banani exclaims. Without a second thought, Papaia urges them to dash down the stairs.
Igor later explained to me that he already knew what was about to happen and stayed behind to watch. As expected, the three quantum physics experts tumble down the stairs, along with their bags, which burst open.
Igor watches the scene amused. The three of them ended up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, while the contents of their bags spilled out all over the steps, leaving a mess of clothes and scientific equipment everywhere.
Igor concludes with one of his usual gags : “It looks like today science has taken quite a tumble!”
So, Papaia has called the taxi, and they’ve rushed down the stairs. But now they are on the street, and there is no taxi. Then Banani protests to Papaia, “Why did you make us get off so quickly if the taxi hasn’t arrived yet?” But Papaia had misread the app and was looking at a ride they had taken a long time ago. Ravioli still has a backache from the tumble they took down the stairs.
According to Igor, rather than checking in for their flight at the airport, they should be checking into the … emergency room!
Anyway, Papaia finally opened the correct ride on the app, and there are still ten minutes left. Banani is still picking up clothes and the rest of the suitcase contents that spilled on the stairs. Some colleagues scold them as they try to get down the observatory stairs amidst all the confusion they caused.
And so, in the middle of all this, Banani and Ravioli are still talking about the book. Papaia asks if they’ve taken everything with them, but those two don’t even hear him. Banani is astonished by the fact that evidence of the resurrection comes from materials approved by skeptical scholars.
“How is that possible if skeptics don’t believe in the resurrection?” Ravioli explains to him that there are certain historical facts that these scholars consider true, due to the evidence supporting them.
Banani doesn’t get it and thinks it’s all based on the scholars’ opinions. But Ravioli explains again that it’s not like that. There is solid evidence that no one can objectively reject. Papaia doesn’t seem convinced by this story and gives his opinion. He thinks that those who believe in the resurrection are simpletons.
As usual, Igor wraps up his report with one of his observations: “After seeing the disasters these three math geniuses are capable of, the definition of ‘simpleton’ should definitely be revised!”
Finally, the taxi arrives. Papaia is convinced they’ll manage to load all those suitcases into a single taxi. But the driver disagrees and certainly doesn’t let them try.
Banani and Ravioli started arguing because one of them shouldn’t have brought the portable radio telescope, and the other one shouldn’t have brought the particle accelerator. These guys are totally nuts. Igor confesses. Maybe, more than their instruments’ gears, they should’ve brought a couple of screws they’re missing in their heads!
Anyway, Papaia solves the problem. He bribes the taxi driver with a generous tip. The driver reluctantly agrees, while the three of them, along with Igor, squeeze into the taxi, buried under their luggage.
After all that struggle, you know what happens? Ravioli … has forgotten his passport!
Imagine the driver’s face and the others’ as Ravioli pulls out half of the suitcases to get out of the vehicle. Of course, all the suitcases that fell to the ground also popped open. Banani scolds him, and the driver already regrets accepting the tip.
Papaia reminds him that they have paid upfront.So there they are in the taxi, squashed like sardines in a can, waiting for Ravioli, who’s looking for his passport in the office.
While they wait, Papaia finds Ravioli’s book at hand. How about taking a look at it? Ravioli won’t mind. But, once they open the book, the real issue is … the smell. The pages are all soaked in coffee and moldy.
After the olfactory shock, Papaia and Banani go to the heart of the book: the five minimal facts, accepted by most skeptical New Testament scholars, whose best explanation is the resurrection of Jesus.
Papaia doesn’t quite buy it and thinks this is just a ploy to sell the book. But Igor has a better idea: The real stroke of genius was theirs when they decided to travel with all those… useless suitcases!Friends, Igor always cracks me up with his stories.
And those scientists? I have no words for them.We left off when they had just gotten into the taxi, packed like sardines, and buried under the avalanche of their luggage. And Ravioli, after all the effort to get in, realized he had forgotten his passport at the office.After they talked about the book, Ravioli shows up at the window.
The passport is missing! Banani suggests it might be in one of the suitcases. Great idea, Banani! Now they just have to unload all the luggage from the taxi again and start searching. What a well-coordinated team!
While Banani unloads the luggage, Ravioli opens them up on the ground to look for the passport. Meanwhile, Papaia is worried about the flight schedule.
The taxi driver isn’t too fond of this plan. Since he’s already pocketed the tip and doesn’t want to waste any more time with these bumbling idiots, he waits until they’ve unloaded everything and then speeds off!
Dear taxi driver, you thought it’d be that easy to get rid of those fools. But it’s not. In fact, Banani’s suspenders got caught in the taxi’s luggage rack.
So, when the taxi takes off, it drags Banani along, who, running, yells for help.Now, let’s stop for a moment and think. Point one: who, in this day and age, besides children, still wears suspenders?
This guy must be the only one or one of the few left on the planet. I hope none of you listeners take offense, but I must reveal that suspenders are very elegant, but unfortunately, they’ve been out of fashion for about a hundred years.
Point two: what are the absurd odds that Banani managed to make a movement where the suspenders got caught in the trunk?Point three: if the taxi driver was behind the wheel ready to leave, he couldn’t have closed the trunk unless he had an electronic control.
This could be one hypothesis. But there’s another one, which I find more likely. And that’s one that a genius like Banani could have more easily managed. If the taxi driver left with the trunk closed, it means that after unloading all the bags, Banani also closed the doors and the trunk.
So, it’s a clear case of encouragement. All that was missing was Banani saying, “Please, go ahead!”Anyway, after being dragged around for about a hundred meters, the Lord has mercy on the poor soul, and his suspenders break, leaving him lying on the ground all sore, and probably with torn clothes.
Igor confided in me that the three always walk around in their lab coats. Just in case, you know… an opportunity arises to do some occasional experiment. Like calculating the speed at which a brioche falls into a cappuccino at the café…
Anyway, in this case, the lab coat saved Banani from getting a nice set of scratches.Banani needs a break to recover from the incident. Nothing better than a chat with Ravioli about his book.
The two are talking about the second fact, that Jesus’ disciples were convinced they saw him resurrected in the flesh. But Ravioli, unlike scholars, doesn’t believe it and thinks it’s an invention of the church.
Banani agrees with him. Ravioli goes back to looking for his passport, and finally finds it. Do you know where it was? He had it in his pocket the whole time. Igor quips with one of his remarks: Sometimes the truth is like Ravioli’s passport, we don’t see it even when it’s right under our nose!
Papaia searches for a solution on his phone while the others discussed Ravioli’s book. Suddenly, Papaia jumped in the air. There was a bus stop right nearby.
Perhaps an exaggerated reaction, but they ended up hauling their countless suitcases, which kept popping open here and there in the middle of the street. Banani had done another one of his “excellent jobs” breaking those zippers.
Meanwhile, the bus arrived, and Papaia tried to convince the driver to wait while the others loaded the bags, along with the chaos, onto the unfortunate vehicle.
The annoyed driver shut the doors and sped off, sending the three scientists and their luggage rolling around inside. Igor added that, at that moment, he felt like he had déjà vu.He was obviously referring to their recent tumble down the stairs, which seems to have become a new and healthy habit for the three of them.
In the end, they sat down and waited to reach the airport. A perfect time to discuss the book. Ravioli read the list of five historical facts, accepted by most scholars, for which the best explanation is the resurrection of Jesus: Jesus died by crucifixion, his disciples were sincerely convinced they had met him in the flesh after his death, the conversion of Paul, the conversion of James, Jesus’ brother, and the preaching of the resurrection that began immediately after Jesus’ death.
I must say Igor has a good memory for recalling all these details. In any case, he finished his story with his usual joke: “New Testament critics are a bit like the three scientists. While the latter always trip over their own luggage, the former trip over their… cultural baggage!
The four of them are dropped off in front of the terminal with a friendly goodbye from the driver, which sounds more or less like this: get off my bus. Of course, once again, the luggage has spilled open onto the street and lies there, wide open, under the curious gaze of passersby. After the usual chaotic relocation, Papaia and the others find themselves in line at the check-in counter.
Banani and Ravioli waste no time continuing their discussion about the book. “Alright, Ravioli, what’s the first of the five facts?” Ravioli consults the book. “The first fact is that Jesus died by crucifixion.” “Oh, come on, Ravioli!” Banani thinks Jesus didn’t even exist. But here’s the evidence! These are quotes from ancient authors of that time that confirm this first fact, like those of Josephus, the famous Jewish historian from the first century.
Banani is left speechless, while Papaia deduces that it’s obvious Jesus existed, but this doesn’t prove he actually rose from the dead. “Hold on, Papaia, there are also the other four facts.” In any case, it always ends with Igor commenting: “With all the embarrassment these guys have caused me, now I’m the one who wishes… I’d never existed!”
We left off when Papaia and the others, having arrived at the airport, are waiting in line for check-in. Maybe the troubles are over this time. But Igor has already foreseen the next problem. If even the taxi wasn’t willing to take them, can you imagine an airline?
In fact, the first thing the check-in assistant asks Papaia is how many suitcases they have. Naturally, as Igor points out, they didn’t even know this themselves. So Papaia starts counting: one, two, three… “They should be twenty. If I’m not mistaken,” Papaia tells the assistant.
Now, dear Igor, let’s take a moment to reflect. Point one: how can a Nobel Prize winner in mathematics like Papaia not manage to count from one to twenty? Does that make him feel insecure? Maybe NASAL should reconsider the dates for the next space launch! Imagine what Papaia would do with really complicated calculations!
Anyway, point two: What world do these three live in? Do they really expect to travel with twenty suitcases, or a number approximately close to that according to Papaia’s calculations?
There are four people. And, as Igor confirms to me, just as I expected, he was only carrying a backpack with a pair of underwear and a toothbrush.
So, doing the math correctly, unlike Papaia, it would be two scientists with six suitcases and one with seven! I’m starting to think there must really be a radio telescope and a particle accelerator in there!Point three: What do they need all this stuff for, considering they’re staying for one or two days?
Well, as Igor advises me, it’s better not to dive into these mysteries of science and the human mind.Anyway, as we could have expected, the assistant informs them that they cannot travel with twenty suitcases for four people.Papaia, as usual, tries to solve the situation by paying.
This didn’t work out with the taxi, but it might work now. Maybe by stuffing a couple of broken suitcases inside one another and paying a lot of money. “Let me see what I can do,” says the assistant, who starts typing.
And now, here’s a little game for you. What are Banani and Ravioli doing in the meantime? A) Looking for a solution to the suitcase problem. B) Worried because they won’t be able to travel or might have to leave some suitcases behind. C) Talking about Ravioli’s book.I see you guessed it too. The answer is C!
Of course, as if there’s nothing more important to talk about, Banani and Ravioli are discussing the book.Ravioli says that the second fact, when talking about the historical facts that prove the resurrection of Christ, is that the disciples were convinced they had met Him after His death.To Banani, they were out of their minds.
To Ravioli, what matters are the facts. Out of their minds or not, the disciples truly believed it, so much so that they preached it publicly, even at a high cost.Ravioli clarifies that, according to most critics, Paul’s letters are authentic, and in them, Paul states that he met some of the disciples and confirms that they were preaching the resurrection.
Banani is surprised, “So we have a real eyewitness!”Igor tells me that at that moment he thought: “One day I’ll write a book as an eyewitness. In fact, in the history of aviation, there has never been a more absurd trip than this one!”
We left off when they were counting the suitcases and realized they had twenty, and the assistant was checking Papaia’s ticket to see if they could do something for them.”Papaia’s ticket?” Sorry, I misspoke. I meant the reservation!
Yes, in fact, there’s no ticket for Papaia, just a reservation. “Oops! I forgot to pay!” is the reaction of Papaia upon hearing the unfortunate news. But no problem, Papaia. It’s just a matter of stopping by the ticket office. Igor adds: “Just enough time to… miss the flight!”
In any case, Banani, who heard nothing because he’s deaf in one ear, kept loading the suitcases onto the conveyor belt. The most interesting part of this story is that all twenty suitcases, stacked on top of each other, suddenly opened at once, like some sort of explosion of clothes and scientific instruments, scattering everywhere in the baggage handling area, which is strictly reserved for staff.
Now, let’s make a couple of points.First: from what we’ve said, we could deduce that this was Banani’s first flight.
Second: but even if that’s the case, is it possible that our amateur traveler doesn’t know, nor even imagine, that suitcases are loaded one at a time onto the belt, and most importantly, with the operator’s consent?
Third: I forgot to tell you that Banani’s reaction to the bags bursting open is to jump onto the conveyor belt, which, as we mentioned, is strictly off-limits to staff only, and start gathering the scattered items to put them back into the bags and close them up again.
This crazy gesture doesn’t sit well with the assistant, who calls security. Banani’s argument with the security guards is as follows: “Wait a minute, I’m almost done!”
Igor tells me that if it weren’t for Papaia, Banani, instead of spending the night on the plane with air conditioning, would have spent it… in jail! Either way, he would have been… “kept cool!”
The moral of the story is that, as if nothing happened, Banani and Ravioli are still talking about the book.It almost seems like these oblivious folks have nothing else to talk about.
Now, this is pure speculation, but sometimes I imagine the beginning of their conversation like this: “Hey, Ravioli. This trip is a bit boring. Nothing ever happens. Always the same things: the bags exploding at the airport and the security almost arresting me.”
And the other one replies, “Ah, Banani! You’re absolutely right, always the same old stuff! Thank goodness we have this coffee-stained book to talk about…”.
But again, this is just speculation. Anyway, the conversation about the book goes something like this.Ravioli says there’s a creed in 1 Corinthians 15, which, according to scholars, comes from oral tradition.
Banani, aside from being deaf in one ear, doesn’t know what a creed is or what oral tradition means.Ravioli tries to explain it in simple terms. It seems that in the first century, they didn’t have the internet. Banani is stunned by this discovery. Ravioli continues: neither internet, nor TV, nor newspapers, nor even books!
Banani now understands why people had so many children back then.But if none of these existed, where did they read the news? Banani still hasn’t grasped that most people back then were illiterate. So, everything they had to learn was spoken aloud and memorized. Ravioli, using a culinary analogy, emphasizes that writing, which was done on papyrus, wax tablets, and skins, was the “icing on the cake.”
Banani more or less understands what oral tradition is, and now he needs to know what a creed is. Ravioli explains that to make it easier to memorize, the information had a symmetrical structure with rhymes and wordplay. And this is precisely what leads scholars to identify the beginning of 1 Corinthians 15 as a creed translated from Aramaic to Greek.
Banani realizes: if the resurrection is an evolved legend, then why were people in the first century talking about it through oral tradition?Ravioli explains that this creed is traced back two to five years after Jesus’ death. And it was used, like other creeds, by common people to preach the resurrection and share the gospel.Igor tells me that, speaking of legends, those three, with those bags, in that airport, were about to become a new… urban legend!
So, Papaia and the group set off for the conference, but they couldn’t make it to the airport because they had too much luggage. In the end, they managed, but at check-in, they discovered that Papaia hadn’t paid for the ticket. There was only one reservation, four people, and twenty pieces of luggage to check in.
And, alas, sometimes, just like Papaia, we have to face reality. Like when they found out they had missed the flight. Maybe it was Banani’s fault, with his uncontrolled and unauthorized zeal. That move of jumping onto the conveyor belt cost us time, my friend!
Or maybe it was Papaia’s fault, who should’ve clicked the pay button at the end of the online booking. I know, Papaia, that’s the most painful part when you buy something online, but it’s a necessary evil if you want to fly to the conference.
Or maybe it’s Ravioli’s fault. Oh yes, dear colleague! We haven’t forgotten about the story of the passport supposedly forgotten at the office but actually in your pocket!Anyway, what’s done is done.
Now Papaia has to find us another flight. I’m speaking figuratively, of course—I wouldn’t dream of traveling with Papaia. No, thanks, I’d rather travel alone or with more normal people than you and your colleagues, Papaia!
But poor Igor can’t say the same, as he’s forced to endure this series of disasters caused by their negligence, if we can use that euphemism to describe their complete idiocy.
Anyway, sorry for rambling on, but Ravioli, after all this stress, is hungry! Igor and I know that hunger all too well. When Ravioli is hungry, get out of the way! Trouble is on the horizon. Igor confides in me that when Ravioli asks Papaia for the credit card to buy a chocolate bar, he was already rubbing his hands together and chuckling to himself.
Papaia, busy with the flight problem, hands it over without a second thought. That fool had no idea what Ravioli is capable of when struck by his nervous hunger.But this time, he must have sensed it subconsciously. In fact, he warns him not to use the card directly at the vending machine but to withdraw cash from an ATM instead.
For Papaia, in his own words, “vending machines are all suspicious and unreliable” and might clone the card. But Papaia got the subject wrong. He should have said “my colleagues and I.” See how much better this sentence sounds: “My colleagues and I, we’re all suspicious and unreliable!” Yes, that’s a true statement, Papaia!
Especially when we talk about Ravioli, who uses a visibly tampered ATM to withdraw money. Of course, after cloning the card, the screen goes blank, and no money comes out. So, Ravioli, as if nothing happened, goes to the next ATM, does what he needs to do, and returns to the others with his chocolate bar without mentioning a thing.
Now, just like in our segment, “The Psychoanalysis Corner,” we’ve got a few points to submit to Ravioli’s eccentric mind.One: if Papaia was afraid of having his card cloned, the first thing any normal person would do is warn him that the ATM’s screen suspiciously turned off, and even more suspiciously, the card barely fit into the slot. But, of course, not Ravioli. Ravioli just thinks, “That’s strange!” And he thinks it twice!
Two: I understand that Ravioli had to satisfy his insatiable craving for chocolate as quickly as possible, but at least mentioning what happened to the others would’ve been the right thing to do. But Ravioli is one of those “all or nothing” people.
Three: Did Ravioli really think that by inserting the card into an ATM, when the card barely fit into the slot, and when the screen turned off, nothing would happen? I’ll give you a couple of seconds to think about that answer.
Let’s think together: Ravioli inserts the card: “That’s strange, it barely fits!” “Ravioli, take the card out of there immediately!” is what I would have told him if I were there. And then, continuing, “That’s strange, the screen turned off!”. “It’s okay, Ravioli, go to the other ATM, nothing happened, you’ll see. These things happen every day, right?”End of the Psychoanalysis Corner.
And now Papaia has found a flight. “Ravioli, give me the card!” Papaia looks at his hand, and what does he see? The chocolate wrapper! “Oops! My bad!” comments Ravioli. Dear Ravioli, “Oops! My bad” should’ve been your middle name. Elpidio, “Oops! My bad” Ravioli. Doesn’t that sound great?
Anyway, Papaia, unaware of the impending disaster, starts typing the card numbers on the phone to pay. And the others, as always, are talking about the book. Talking again about the creed in 1 Corinthians 15, Banani has realized that both Paul and the creed confirm that the disciples were convinced that Jesus had risen. Ravioli reminds him that, as critics agree, Paul didn’t make up the creed; he just passed it along in his letter. And this means the creed shows us what common people were saying at the time—two years after Jesus’ death.
A lightbulb goes off for Banani: “Wow! So it’s not a legend!”And Igor wraps things up by pointing out that while it was important what people in the first century were saying, what was even more important was what people at the airport were saying, seeing their luggage opened and scattered all over the floor!
Continuing our story, we said they had arrived at the airport, but Papaia had forgotten to pay, and because of this and many other reasons, such as their twenty suitcases to check in, they missed the flight.To top it off, Ravioli used Papaia’s card at an ATM that, in Papaia’s words, was “suspicious and unreliable.”So, when Papaia tries to pay for another flight to the conference, he discovers, as we could have imagined, that the card has been cloned.
But how is that possible? Oops! Ravioli remembers an explanation. The one where he uses the card at a tampered ATM and, as if nothing happened, eats his chocolate, keeping this little secret all to himself.Papaia struggles to connect the dots. “Are you telling me you got my card cloned for a stupid chocolate?”
Oh no, Papaia! Now you’re going to make Ravioli mad by insulting his delicious and nutritious chocolate, the only thing capable of cheering up that poor compulsive eater Ravioli, by calling it “stupid”?
But Ravioli stays calm. After all, wasn’t it you, Papaia, who asked him to withdraw the money?The poor guy just followed your orders. You know, Ravioli, sometimes the details matter. Like when the ATM turns off or when the card barely fits in the slot.
It’s not just blindly following orders. For instance, if an old lady asks you to help her cross the street, you don’t push her into the highway. You look to make sure no cars are coming, right?
Friends, if you ever meet Ravioli, don’t ask him to help you; it could be dangerous for both him and you. That’s my conclusion. I don’t want to dwell too much on this matter, and we surely don’t want to bring up the past, do we, Papaia? It’s better to listen to Banani and try to solve the situation with a phone call to the bank’s customer service.
But the problem is, it’s not just too late for your flight; it’s also too late for the bank staff, who have long since gone home to sip their juice on their living room couches.In short, customer service is closed, and Papaia’s card is blocked until tomorrow morning.
The summary is that they’re stuck at the airport without money and will be sleeping there tonight.But Ravioli pulls out his Pollyanna-style optimism. The good news is he has some cash left.
And what will they do with this small amount of money? Will they pay for a hotel? No, sir. Will they take a taxi home? Not at all! Ravioli has a better idea. A childhood dream of his comes true in that moment.
They will dine on products from the vending machine! What great news, Ravioli! You know, it’s always been my dream too, to stuff myself with junk food and call it “dinner”!
You know, Ravioli? You should get checked by a doctor. I don’t know, maybe one of those blood tests to see the cholesterol in your arteries. Maybe even a diabetes check. But above all, you should see a psychiatrist because the things you’re doing and saying, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but they’re not exactly normal.
Anyway, Papaia, clearly irritated, has half a mind to do something to wake Ravioli up from this nightmare. A healthy dose of a beating!Papaia lunges at Ravioli to execute the plan, but as you’d expect from someone as absent-minded as him, he trips over one of the suitcases and hits his head on the ground, punishing himself for his bad thought.
Oh no, Papaia! You, a great scientist, the epitome of rationality and, by the way, of distraction. How can you lose your temper with poor and harmless Ravioli, who, as his only defense, would probably vomit after the first punch?No, Papaia, these things shouldn’t be done, and you shouldn’t do them at home either. Absolutely not!
Do you see what happened? He hurt himself and now steps outside the terminal to calm down and get some fresh air.
Meanwhile, Banani and Ravioli, in their usual way of pretending nothing is wrong, continue talking about the book.Banani doesn’t understand why there’s a need to find all this evidence that the disciples were convinced of Jesus’ resurrection when you can just read it in the Gospels.Ravioli explains that it’s not that simple, because critics don’t trust the Gospels.
But confirmations can be found in indirect testimonies, such as Paul’s in his authentic letters and in oral tradition, like the creed in 1 Corinthians 15.
For Banani, this is still very complicated.For Igor, it’s simple. In fact, a simple analogy explains it. Papaia is like the critics of the New Testament. He could have avoided a lot of trouble by trusting the vending machine. Instead of having Ravioli withdraw from the ATM, the indirect source, he should have trusted the vending machine, his… direct source!
We had said that Papaia and the scientists had left for the conference on dark matter. “Left” is an overstatement, because at midnight, they were still at the airport, without tickets and without money, with Papaia’s card cloned, and Ravioli’s chocolate bars serving as dinner.
Now, before continuing with the story, I have a question that keeps me awake at night. Aren’t they all scientists? Don’t they all work at the observatory? Don’t they all get paid? Sorry, but these are three questions, not one. Anyway, they’re just an introduction to the one I was talking about. So why is it only Papaia who pays for everything?
Maybe the others forgot their wallets at the office. Or maybe they are so deep in debt that their salary is already long gone. Or, this is interesting, maybe the card in question is not Papaia’s, but worse than NASAL’s. I say worse because in that case, when they return to work on Monday, Papaia would have to explain to the superiors how a company card was cloned for trivial personal expenses, like buying Ravioli’s chocolate at the vending machine. Can you imagine Papaia telling the whole story to the boss, trying to justify all the nonsense—excuse the term—that he and his colleagues did in just a few hours?
Anyway, closing this brief parenthesis, we have to say that Banani didn’t take it too badly, spending the night at the airport. In fact, he made some sort of bed with the many, too many, suitcases and is trying to get some sleep.
Ravioli, for safety, is still keeping his distance from Papaia and uses the last few coins to finish off the chocolate from the vending machine. This time we’ll go with a “no comment” on Ravioli’s things, leaving him to stuff his face, hoping he doesn’t get sick.
Papaia read Ravioli’s book to “kill” time and, mainly, to avoid killing Ravioli. Obviously, we’re speaking figuratively, not that Papaia would be capable of such a thing.Anyway, a new discussion arises about the book, this time between Papaia and Banani.Papaia summarizes it, pointing out that Paul becomes the main witness in our, I mean their, little investigation on the resurrection of Jesus.
Banani recalls the fourth point, that Paul, once a persecutor of the church, in his own words, explains that he converted after encountering the risen Jesus.“Maybe he was lying,” suggests Papaia.
But Banani reminds him that Paul had everything to lose and nothing to gain by saying this.According to Banani and also most critics, this shows that Paul wasn’t lying but was truly convinced of what he was saying.“And what if it was just a hallucination?” proposes Banani.
But Papaia reminds him that Paul was an enemy of Jesus; a hallucination wouldn’t have been enough to change his life, as he himself describes.“Maybe he just felt guilty about being a bad kid,” Banani supposes.“Yes, but then what about the appearances to other groups of witnesses?” asks Papaia, referring to the creed in 1 Corinthians 15, where several groups of eyewitnesses are listed, many of whom were still alive at the time of Paul’s letter and able to confirm it to anyone who wanted to investigate.
For Banani, this is a great mystery, but for Igor, the real mystery is how… they’ll get home!We left off when Papaia, Ravioli, Banani, and Igor missed their flight to the dark matter conference and ended up stuck overnight at the airport. At that point, Igor was pretending to be asleep so he could secretly listen to what the three were saying.The conversation is so boring that Igor is actually at risk of falling asleep and missing the chance for some new material. In fact, Igor has explained to me that his job as a scientist’s assistant isn’t his real work. Really, he says, if it were just for the pittance they pay him and the humiliating situations he often endures because of those three, he would’ve already left to go flip burgers at some local fast-food joint. Actually, his main job is as a stand-up comedian. And the crazy things these scientists do are pure gold for his routine.
Anyway, here’s the conversation between Banani, Ravioli, and Papaia, about the used book that Ravioli bought. They’re talking about the fifth fact, which is the conversion of James, Jesus’ brother. Banani is surprised that James didn’t believe his brother when he said he was God.
Ravioli explains to him that not only did James not believe him, but he also thought Jesus might have a few screws loose. After all, if I had a brother and he claimed to be God, I might think something similar too—unless he started doing miracles, like healing the blind and the lame, or bringing the dead back to life.
Anyway, Papaia, being a good scientist, asks an intelligent question: since James converted after Jesus’ death, wouldn’t it have been easier to believe him when he was alive rather than after he was dead?
You see, every now and then, Papaia says or does something smart. Isn’t that why he’s a scientist? It’s not just because he knows how to book tickets without paying or remembers a flight two hours before departure, or heads off on said flight with twenty pieces of luggage. This guy is a true professional, capable of actually thinking something clever. Bravo, Papaia!
Ravioli reminds him that James became the leader of the Jerusalem church, and according to sources, he believed until the very end when he was killed for his faith. Now, guys, I went to Sunday school for years, so I can tell you to be careful not to confuse him with James, the disciple of Jesus. This James also died a martyr, killed by Herod, and that fact is even in the Bible. But this other James wasn’t a disciple, and his death is recorded in other sources. See, I’m smart too! What do you think, could I be a scientist? Wait, on second thought, maybe not—I wouldn’t want to end up like Papaia!
Anyway, as the conversation continues, Papaia realizes that the thing that best explains James’ conversion is that he actually saw and spoke with his risen brother after his death. Papaia is a bit scared by this point, but Banani reminds him that evidence is evidence. There’s no room for impostors, hallucinations, or lies. These guys died believing this.
And now, Papaia and his colleagues find themselves not only spending the night at the airport but also reconsidering their entire worldview. All because of a used book with coffee-stained pages that only Ravioli has a strong enough stomach to flip through without wanting to throw up from the smell of moldy coffee.
For Igor, the issue is simple: Papaia, as he reflects on the disaster of the trip, will have a lot to reconsider!
The brilliant minds spent the night sleeping on their suitcases, but it’s now eight o’clock, and Papaia calls customer service to unlock the card. “Perfect, Papaia! But now we need to rush to the ticket counter. “
Stop! Wait a minute. Why are they going to the ticket counter? Isn’t it just paying for the ticket online from your phone? Maybe Papaia doesn’t want to risk making the same mistake twice. Maybe Ravioli could distract him with a hot chocolate or… well, you never know! Better safe than sorry. Very wise of you, although this ticket will be a bit pricey. Oh well, if NAASAL is footing the bill, you’ll just have to explain it to the boss. How?
Maybe something like, ‘You know, boss, Papaia was afraid he’d forget to pay, so he paid for the tickets at double the price at the ticket counter,’ ‘Was it hard to pay?’ ‘I don’t know, it seems like you just had to press that big green button that says “pay.”’ ‘Oh, right! Great idea, Papaia, spending all that money!’
But in their rush, something fell out of his pocket. “Watch out!” shouts Banani, scaring everyone! Even the security officers were startled, thinking Banani had spotted a bomb ready to explode. Actually, Igor explains to me that it was indeed a bomb… but of another kind. “You dropped something from your pocket!” Calm down, Banani! It’s not the wallet, nor the passport, and certainly not the ticket which, as the assistant points out, we don’t have. It’s just the flyer for the conference.
Nothing much, Banani, you almost made half the airport jump out of their skin for a simple, harmless flyer. Simple, yes, but harmless? That remains to be seen… because the “bomb” is about to go off.
“What’s today’s date?” Banani asks. “Banani, how can you be so distracted you don’t even know what day it is?” But Banani wants to know what month it is, too. Banani, will you stop it with these silly questions! We don’t have time to lose, we have to go buy the ticket, at the boss’s expense… But Banani insists.
Ugh, Banani! It’s June 23rd, obviously! Well, take a closer look, Papaia. Look closely at what’s written on the flyer. “Dark Matter Conference on July 23rd!”It’s July 23rd, not June 23rd. Ravioli’s brain has finally connected the dots. “You mean we went through all of this for a conference that’s only next month?” The answer is “yes,” dear Ravioli!
You’ve broken your suitcases, fallen down the stairs, been dragged on the pavement by your suspenders by a runaway taxi, fallen onto the bus, almost got arrested for entering a restricted area, had your card cloned, dined on chocolate and chips, slept on your own luggage, and had your worldview shattered by a book soaked in moldy coffee.
All for a conference that will be held next month. Yes, let me repeat: next month. At this point, Igor doesn’t even need to make one of his remarks, because the situation speaks for itself. But, just so we’re not disappointed at the end, here it is anyway: “At this point, the real scientific discovery is how you managed to complicate your lives this much without even… leaving the airport!”
And so, my friends, I said “at the end” because Igor’s story stops here for now. But there are still plenty of other stories Igor wants to tell us, so come back soon; you won’t be disappointed!
Hey, Igor always has me in stitches with his stories. And those scientists? They leave me speechless!