Part 1/6
Three scientists — Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli — and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin to show interest in creationism. Their superiors, alarmed, send them to the psychologist, Professor Faggioli — a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.
We’re in Professor Faggioli’s office. It’s Banani’s turn.
—
Faggioli: So, tell me about your spiritual life.
Banani (surprised): Oh, I thought you didn’t believe in that sort of thing, professor.
Faggioli: Oh no, not at all. Everyone needs spirituality. Whether it exists or not… 🤣
Banani: I see… Well! I wouldn’t know what to say…
Faggioli: Come now, don’t be shy! What do you think? Is there life after death?
Banani: I’m not sure… there’s no evidence.
Faggioli: Come on, Banani, you and I both know that’s not what you really think.
Banani: Well, even if there were, that wouldn’t interfere with my work…
Faggioli: Sure, until someone starts going around saying the Big Bang is a lie!
Banani: I never said anything like that.
Faggioli: Really? And what about that note in the end-of-month report? The one from Papaia… which you signed…
Banani: Um… actually, I didn’t even notice it.
Faggioli: Well, well, distracted at work…
Faggioli takes notes.
Banani: No, come on, I wasn’t distracted…
Faggioli: Weren’t you? Then tell me…
Faggioli rummages through a drawer and pulls out a sheet with some photos.
Faggioli: What were you doing here?
He shows the paper to Banani.
Banani: But… how is that possible?
Faggioli: The security cameras caught you on tape…
Banani: I… I didn’t know that…
Faggioli: Oh yes, all employees are monitored. Where do you think you are? Security is everything here!
Banani: But how did you get those?
Faggioli: Let’s just say… you’re not the only ones who need my help to keep your job…
Banani: Freddy… the security guard… you mean he also…?
Faggioli: That’s classified, dear Banani.
Igor:
Oh, let me get this straight, Faggioli…
You say: “Spirituality is something we all need. Whether it exists or not.”
So basically, even if it doesn’t exist… we still need it?
Sorry, but how does someone need something that doesn’t exist?
Like… oh! I desperately need the invisible unicorn that cooks lasagna in my closet. 🤣
… Oh! I feel the urgent need for a Monday that’s also Thursday… at the same time! 🤣
… Picture an old couple:
Her: “Oh darling! I really need to go on a trip back in time!”
Him: “Of course, dear! Let me grab the time machine! Oh wait… almost forgot… it doesn’t exist!” 🤣
… And then there’s Faggioli: Spirituality? I need it even if it doesn’t exist! 🤣
Part 2/6
In Faggioli’s office, the interrogation—er, I mean… the session—with Banani continues.
—
Faggioli: So tell me… what are those magazines?
Banani: Uh… nothing, just some DIY magazines. 🤣
Faggioli: More like “do it yourself” theology, huh?
With a theatrical gesture, Faggioli slams a few magazines on the desk, right in front of Banani’s stunned face.
Faggioli: By any chance… are these the ones?
Banani is speechless as he stares at the magazines he’d been reading—on creationism.
Banani: These… um… they’re not mine!
Faggioli: Then whose are they? And what were they doing in your drawer?
Banani: Okay, but even if I did read them?
Faggioli: That wouldn’t be a problem… but you didn’t just read them, did you, Banani?
Banani: What are you suggesting?
Faggioli clicks the mouse. An audio file begins to play…
—
FLASHBACK – NASAL corridor, coffee machine area.
Banani and Panzerotti are leaning against the vending machine. The machine hums in the background as a hidden mic captures the conversation.
Banani (whispering, nervous):
…I’m just saying, the data from Hubble last week… it’s weird. The most distant galaxies… they look too formed. Doesn’t match the Big Bang.
Panzerotti:
What are you saying? That’s serious stuff, Banani.
Banani (glancing around):
I know, but don’t tell anyone. I found a couple of articles that… well, talk about a different origin of the universe.
Panzerotti:
Like…?
Banani (softly):
Like the universe being created by God.
Silence. The coffee finishes pouring.
Panzerotti:
You’re joking, right?
Banani:
No. I’m just saying… what if the Bible’s right? Even just a little? I mean… we can’t keep ignoring certain inconsistencies.
Panzerotti:
Look, I go to church every Sunday, but that’s where it ends. Management made it very clear—faith stays at home when we come to work. 🤣
Banani:
It’s not just about faith! There’s evidence too. It’s right in front of us. Every day. But we’re interpreting it wrong!
Panzerotti:
Sorry, I’ve got to go. Maybe we’ll talk about it next time. 🤣
—
End of flashback. The audio stops with a click. We return to Faggioli’s office.
—
Igor:
So Banani claims those magazines were about DIY? But isn’t Banani the guy who fixes everything with duct tape? 🤣
… Oh really? Then what were the titles? 🤣
… Scotch Magazine – The Art of Never Using a Hammer 🤣
… Fix & Tape – The Science of the Ultimate Patch-Up 🤣
… Home & Scotch – Furniture That Sort of Holds Together 🤣
… Scotch Life – True Stories of Furniture That Hasn’t Collapsed… Yet 🤣
… And Panzerotti, Banani’s spooked colleague, says that when he comes to work, he leaves his faith at home. Okay, but we’ve got other cases too. For example: Papaia, when he comes to work, he leaves his pants at home. 🤣
… Good thing at least he was wearing his lab coat! 🤣
… And what was that line from Panzerotti—“maybe we’ll talk about it next time”? Was that supposed to be a joke? 🤣
… He should’ve said “maybe we’ll meet again”… 🤣
… Someday… when we’re old! 🤣
Part 3/6
Faggioli:
So, Banani… do you have anything to say?
Banani stays silent.
Faggioli:
Of course you don’t! You already said everything in that audio—very clearly, I might add!
Banani:
Maybe that wasn’t even me in the recording.
Faggioli:
Banani… let’s not play games.
Either you tell me the truth right now, or I won’t be able to do anything to fire yo—
I mean—to help you!
Banani:
Alright! It’s true!
I read the magazines! I talked to Panzerotti! I even… wrote a draft article for Science & Creation.
But it was just to see how it would turn out! I never meant to publish it!
Faggioli (grinning smugly):
There it is. Finally.
Welcome to the list of employees… divinely inspired. 🤣
Faggioli slowly turns toward a drawer. He opens it with theatrical flair… and pulls out—TONY THE SOCK.
Tony:
“Hey Banani, what a surprise!
Forget science—it’s church in disguise!
You’ve lost your mind, you’ve gone astray,
now Heaven’s sending your job away!”
Banani stares, horrified and confused.
Banani (barely whispering):
Did… did he really bring Tony out again?
Faggioli (smiling coldly):
Tony sees into souls, Banani.
And today, yours is highly questionable. 🤣
Tony the Sock (sing-song):
“Goodbye Banani, dreams and stars,
go hang with goblins and haunted memoirs!” 🤣
Part 4/6
Igor:
This list of “inspired employees,” Faggioli?
Let me guess—it only has four names on it, right? 😅
…And then Tony, in full poetic mode, invents the term “questionable soul.”
I mean—what’s that even supposed to mean, literally? 🤣
…Let’s break it down: a theory can be questionable. But a soul? 🤣
…And what would the debate be? “Does Banani have a soul or not?” 🤣
…And according to Tony’s logic, if Banani has a soul, then he believes in the Big Bang but not in God. 🤣
…But if he doesn’t have a soul, then he does believe in God—but not in the Big Bang! 🤣
…You know what, Tony?
The only thing that’s truly questionable here… is your own sentence! 🤣
…Or better yet—your entire existence! 🤣
…You’re a sock. A used sock, Faggioli’s puppet, worn for a week straight! 🤣
…And by the way—props for the little poem.
But could we talk about that last line?
Okay, sure, Banani goes off with “fairies”—your fantasy world, got it.
But “restless skeletons”?? 🤣
…What are they, new enemies in a video game? 🤣
…What’s their attack? Do they cry so much you can’t stand it anymore? 🤣
…Oh wait—right! Skeletons don’t have eyes, or tear glands! 🤣
…Skeletons can’t cry.
But maybe a restless skeleton is just anxious! 🤣
…You know, like those people who keep tapping your shoulder every ten seconds to say something. 🤣
…Then again—no! Skeletons don’t do anything. They just sit there. 🤣
…Unless someone ties them up with string and makes them into puppets. 🤣
…Which, let’s face it, sounds exactly like one of Faggioli’s hobbies—right next to gardening, talking socks, and dried chickpeas! 🤣
Banani ends the session
Back in Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli:
Well, Banani. I’d say… that’s enough for today.
The truth—no matter how shocking—is always appreciated. Sometimes.
I’ll let you know… in due time.
Banani:
Will I still… be able to work at NASAL? 🤣
Faggioli:
We’ll see. Let’s just say your future… is in the hands of destiny.
Banani:
Ah. Destiny. 🤣
Faggioli:
Yes. And also a little bit in my hands. 🤣
…But… minor detail.
Faggioli makes a grand hand gesture, like a conductor wrapping up a symphony. 🤣
Banani takes the hint, stands slowly, and walks toward the door with an uncertain step.
Banani (murmuring):
Thank you, Professor… for your understanding… 🤣
Faggioli (without looking up):
Yes, yes. Go now. And try not to read… those magazines again, alright?
Banani:
Alright.
The door opens. Banani walks out. The door shuts with a sharp clack.
From behind the door, Faggioli can be heard playing once again with Tony the sock. 🤣
Tony:
Bye, sucker! Ahahah! So long—and happy unemployment! Ahahah!
—
Igor:
So, after admitting he doesn’t believe in the Big Bang—on tape, no less—Banani still asks, “Will I still work at NASAL?” 🤣
…Of course, Banani! They’ll even promote you! 🤣
…Who knows? Maybe you’ll be made President! 🤣
…Surely the investors are thrilled about this sudden U-turn! 🤣
…Banani asks if he can still work at NASAL? No, Banani! I really don’t think so! 🤣
…Your future in the hands of destiny? What, like flipping a coin—heads, Banani stays; tails, Banani’s fired? 🤣
…Yeah, but only if the coin is rigged—with two tails! 🤣
…Your future “partly” in Faggioli’s hands? Which hand—the one with the sock, or the one without? 🤣
…Faggioli, the great orchestra conductor! I didn’t know that besides the strings section, there was also a hoe section! 🤣
…“Thank you for your understanding”? You too now with the Freudian slips, Banani?
Understanding… uh, I meant suppression! Of our careers, obviously. 🤣
…Guys, Faggioli is a riot! Playing with a sock behind his office door!
What a serious professional figure. 🤣
… I mean, the only serious thing here are his mental issues! 🤣
Part 5/6
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Papaia and Ravioli are talking about a book Banani found, about the geological evidence for Noah’s Flood.
Ravioli:
So, to recap: uniformitarian geologists claim that tens of thousands of feet of fossil-bearing sedimentary layers were deposited over more than 500 million years.
By contrast, the catastrophic global Flood described in Genesis 7–8 leads creationist geologists to believe that most of these layers were deposited in just over a year.
So, during the Flood, many different layers would have been laid down in rapid succession.
Papaia:
Exactly. And on the walls of the Grand Canyon, we can observe that the entire sequence of horizontal sedimentary layers has been bent—without fracturing.
For uniformitarians, that supposedly happened 440 million years after the deposition of the Tapeats Sandstone and Muav Limestone, and 200 million years after the Kaibab Limestone was deposited.
Ravioli:
But that’s impossible—because we don’t see any evidence of that transition.
Papaia:
Precisely! The only way to explain how these sandstone and limestone layers could have bent as if they were still flexible…
is to conclude that they were deposited during the Flood described in Genesis—just a few months before the bending occurred.
Ravioli:
So not millions of years—but just one!
Papaia:
One. The year of the Flood, a few thousand years ago.
Igor is crying.
Igor:
Bent rocks. I can’t take it anymore. Can we change the subject?
How long till my session? After a million years of this same stuff, I really need it! 🤣
Ravioli:
Hey, just so you know—Tony the sock is in there!
Igor:
Better an hour of insults from that fake ventriloquist than ten more minutes of your bent rocks! 🤣
Part 6/6
We’re in the waiting room, where Papaia, Ravioli, and Igor are waiting for Banani to finish his session.
The door opens. Banani comes out. The others turn toward him, stopping their conversation.
Ravioli:
So? Did he pull out the sock? 🤣
Banani:
Yes—and it gets worse!
Papaia:
What?
Banani:
He’s been spying on us! This whole time!
Ravioli:
How?
Banani:
The security cameras… and Freddy the guard—he sold us out!
Papaia:
Freddy? Oh no! I can’t believe it!
From the other room, Faggioli calls the next patient.
Faggioli:
Papaia! Come in. It’s your turn!
Papaia stands up.
Banani:
Be careful! I don’t trust that psychologist!
Ravioli:
Banani’s right. Especially don’t trust the sock. 🤣
Igor gives Papaia a little wave.
Papaia enters the office and closes the door behind him.
Banani notices the book.
Banani:
Ah—my book! Good thing I forgot it here!
Ravioli:
We read it too—I hope you don’t mind.
Banani:
Not unless you got tomato sauce or coffee on it! 🤣
Igor:
Bye, Papaia! And stay away from the sock! Who knows how long it’s been since Faggioli washed his feet! 🤣
… Sorry, Ravioli. I get not trusting Faggioli, but… the sock? 🤣
… What do you mean? You made confessions to that piece of laundry too? 🤣
… Maybe next time you’ll confess to Banani—when he finds out you were eating your greasy tomato mini-pizzas and using the book pages as napkins! 🤣
… And Papaia didn’t even notice the coffee he spilled from the vending machine… right on the page about pterodactyl fossils! 🤣