Banani’s sister
Part 1/13
Three scientists — Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli — and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin to show an interest in creationism. Their superiors, worried, send them to see a psychologist: Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.
We are in Professor Faggioli’s office, and it’s Banani’s turn.
Faggioli: Let’s talk a bit about your family. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Banani: Yes, I have a sister… But I haven’t spoken to her in years.
Faggioli: How come? What happened?
FLASHBACK – Banani’s House, Afternoon – Interior, Living Room
The front door bursts open. Chiara, Banani’s sister, walks in excitedly, carrying two expensive shopping bags. She’s wearing sunglasses indoors.
Chiara:
Mooom! Look what I got for Sniffy and Pookie!
A pink waterproof coat, and a mini glitter handbag! It’s too adorable!
From the back of the room, Banani’s mom comes out of the kitchen wearing an apron made from floral curtains. In her hands are two tiny cardboard sofas and a miniature bed.
Mom:
Sweetheart! And I finished the little living room set for their house!
There’s even a bed with a sliding curtain and a tiny shelf for treats! 🤣
Chiara sets down the bags and kneels beside the two chihuahuas dozing on a velvet cushion.
Chiara:
Sniffy, my love! Want to try on your new princess coat?
And you, Pookie, look at your new bag — it’s prettier than mine!
Mother and daughter exchange a knowing look, then start pampering the little dogs with sweet voices, cuddles, and excited squeals.
The scene fades slowly as Sniffy yawns and Pookie lets out a tiny, elegant sneeze.
FADE OUT.
Back to Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli:
You said you haven’t spoken to your sister in years. May I ask… was there a particular reason?
Banani:
Uhm… let’s just say there was an incident. With her… dogs.
Faggioli:
Dogs, you said? Tell me all about it! Please, do!
Igor: Dogs, you said? Let me guess… Banani blew them up! 🤣
Part 2/13
FLASHBACK – Banani’s House – Interior, Day
Silence. Banani is alone in the living room, surrounded by plastic pieces, wires, empty bottles, and an aerodynamics manual. On a table, a homemade rocket is taking shape, half a meter tall.
Banani (to himself):
Okay… total weight: four and a half kilos.
Propellant: check. Stabilizing fins: check.
…But with Flaffy onboard, I end up with a crooked trajectory and ridiculous acceleration.
He turns around. The labrador Flaffy is watching him, tail wagging, tongue out, sitting upright as if he fully understands the situation.
Banani:
I’m sorry, old pal.
This time, you won’t have the honor of serving science. 🤣
You’re just… too bulky.
Flaffy gives a little bark and then yawns, blissfully flopping down onto the floor. Banani returns to his project, looking thoughtful.
Igor:
…Still, the labrador Flaffy had missed a great opportunity to serve science, flying aboard Banani’s homemade rocket. 🤣
…You know… he was too heavy… what a pity…
Don’t worry, Flaffy, you’ll take part in Banani’s next experiment… with an even more powerful rocket… to go even higher! 🤣
…Although I don’t think Flaffy really cared that much about becoming an astronaut! 🤣
Part 3/13
Meanwhile, at the home goods and DIY store, Mom and Chiara are walking through the aisles. Mom is rummaging through rolls of felt, vintage buttons, spray glue, and empty jars.
Mom (excited):
Look at these popsicle sticks! Perfect for making the veranda for the doggy beds!
And with this fabric… I could line the inside walls!
Chiara:
Perfect! I’m heading to the fragrance section. I want to see if they have vanilla essence for Sniffy and white rose for Pookie.
They need to feel adored every day, Mom.
Mom nods as Chiara walks away toward the shiny pet products shelf. She stops in front of a ridiculously expensive scented spray.
Chiara:
They deserve only the best. No compromises. 🤣
The two reunite at the checkout, smiling and content. Mom carefully arranges the cart. Chiara strokes the mini glitter handbag with a dreamy look. The scene fades on this little domestic moment, unaware of what’s about to happen at home…
Igor:
When Chiara said the two doggies deserved only the best—referring to a two-digit-priced scented spray—I’m sure Papa Banani, on the other side of town, spending his workday degreasing a deep fryer crusted over from decades of use, totally agreed with her on that point! 🤣
Part 4/13
Back to Faggioli.
Faggioli:
Banani… I’m not here to listen, but to judge 🤣
…I mean, I’m here to judge… not to listen 🤣
…No, wait! I’m here to listen, not to judge!
If there’s a reason you no longer speak to your sister, I think it’s important… to talk about it.
Banani:
It’s complicated. And also a little embarrassing.
Faggioli (trying to reassure him):
You can tell me anything.
I need your obsessions… 🤣
…I meant your impressions. Your impressions. 🤣
A brief silence. Then Banani sighs.
Banani:
Alright… but just know this is a story I’ve never told anyone. Not even Igor.
Faggioli nods encouragingly. Banani stares into space and slowly begins…
Igor:
This time, Faggioli managed to beat his own record—pulling off a double slip of the tongue! 🤣
…Who knows, maybe next time he’ll go for three in a row! 🤣
Anyway, Faggioli, you don’t need other people’s obsessions! You’ve got more than enough of your own in that twisted brain of yours! 🤣
Part 5/13
Drying Mechanism
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Papaia and Ravioli are talking about a book Banani found on the geological evidence of Noah’s flood.
Ravioli:
Does the book explain how this phenomenon works?
Papaia:
Yes. Here, I’ll read it to you:
“When water deposits sediment in a layer, some of the water gets trapped between the grains of sediment. Among these grains there can also be clay particles. When more sedimentary layers are deposited on top, the pressure compresses the sediment grains and squeezes out most of the water. The Earth’s internal heat can help remove additional water from the sediment. As the sediment layer dries, the chemicals in the water and between the clay particles turn into a natural cement. This cement transforms the soft, wet sediment layer into a hard, brittle rock layer.”
Ravioli:
Kind of like when we squeeze out a sponge.
Papaia:
Yes, but not exactly. Unlike a sponge, clay and other sediments solidify once separated from the water.
Ravioli:
Natural cement, you said?
Papaia:
Yes. This process, technically known as diagenesis, can happen very quickly. It’s known to occur in a matter of hours, though it usually takes days or months, depending on the prevailing conditions. It doesn’t take millions of years, not even under today’s slow and gradual geological conditions.
Igor:
Kind of like when we squeeze out a sponge, Ravioli?
Or maybe more like when Faggioli shrinks your brain! 🤣
Part 6/13
FLASHBACK – Banani’s House
Banani is crouched next to his homemade rocket, surrounded by notes and sheets filled with calculations scribbled in colorful markers. An abacus dangles off to the side. Afternoon sunlight streams in through the window.
Banani (thinking out loud):
I need something alive.
Only then can I validate the re-entry protocol.
…and beat Johnson’s record. 🤣
He pauses, grabs the calculator, punches in some numbers, then sighs.
Banani:
But the weight… Flaffy’s out of the question. Too massive. Too furry. Too… labrador.
He stands up, paces the room in frustration. Then he stops. His pupils dilate.
On an embroidered cushion in the center of the living room, Sniffy and Pookie are curled up asleep, dressed in pink and lilac outfits, shiny bows on their heads, and a tiny plaid blanket over their paws.
Banani slowly approaches. A spark of inspiration lights up on his face: the idea is forming.
Banani (half-whispering, eerie and inspired):
Light… and available passengers. 🤣
Igor:
Excuse me, but who the heck is this Johnson? This character came out of nowhere. 🤣
At the very least, Banani could’ve told us what Johnson did… like, launched a pair of hamsters to 30,000 feet or something? 🤣
…Anyway, when Banani says the little dogs were “light and available passengers,” I don’t quite agree on the second part. 🤣
Especially if they’d known what was coming! 🤣
Part 7/13
Meanwhile, Mom and Chiara are in the car, the interior overflowing with colorful shopping bags. The back seats are piled high with fabrics, bows, bone-shaped plushies, and custom-made outfits. One of the bags reads: “Canine Boutique – Noblesse Oblige”.
Chiara (excited):
Look at this collar! It’s made of braided vegan leather with crystal paw prints! 🤣
Pookie will finally have the gala accessory she deserves.
Mom (smiling fondly):
And Sniffy will love the little kitchen I built for her. The faucet’s made from two old pens and a clothespin!
Chiara:
They’re so smart… so sensitive… they understand everything! 🤣
Mom (moved):
I know. It’s like they’re a part of us. And those little eyes…
Chiara:
…those tiny paws…
Mom and Chiara (in unison, overwhelmed):
…those adorable snouts!!
Zoom in on the dashboard as the car approaches the house. The music swells, sweet and sentimental. Abrupt fade-out.
Igor:
No! I’m not leaving until someone explains to me what exactly “vegan leather” is! 🤣
…How do they make it? Out of sequoia tree trunks? 🤣
…Yes, Mrs. Banani, the doggies are cute and clever, but obviously they don’t understand everything! Otherwise they wouldn’t be part of Banani’s rocket experiment! 🤣
Part 8/13
Meanwhile, Banani is in the backyard, standing next to a homemade rocket about two meters tall, built from pipes, papier-mâché, and duct tape. The two chihuahuas are visible inside a transparent cabin at the top, wearing tiny bicycle helmets and a tag that reads: “MISSION: CUORICINO 1”. 🤣
Banani (speaking to the doggies):
Don’t worry, girls. The trajectory is perfect, reentry is calibrated.
Ten meters. Liftoff, parachute, soft landing.
Safer than a carnival ride. And besides… this will be a triumph for science.
He crouches and tightens two clamps. Takes a breath and glances toward the house.
Banani (to himself):
I just hope they come back after landing. 🤣
Flaffy, you’re my witness. 🤣
Flaffy, the labrador, watches from a distance, sitting next to a kiddie pool, wearing a puzzled expression.
Banani turns and gives a final check to the rocket’s base, where the fuel is stored. Zoom in on an empty plastic canister beside him. A handmade label reads: “Regular Gasoline”.
But a gust of wind lifts a second label off the ground, revealing the truth:
“NITROGLYCERIN – EXPLOSIVE DANGER”
Tense music.
Zoom in on Banani’s blissfully unaware eyes.
Fade to black.
Igor:
“Mission Cuoricino 1”… Okay! But why “1”? Was Banani planning to repeat the experiment? 🤣
…Or maybe colonize Mars! 🤣
…With dogs! 🤣
…And then he says, “I just hope they come back after landing”… Well! That sounds like a well-thought-out plan, Banani! 🤣
…And what’s this about Flaffy being the witness? Don’t you think you’re putting a little too much responsibility on your four-legged buddy, Banani? 🤣
…Anyway, if that dog could talk, I bet he’d say, “Me? I didn’t see a thing!” 🤣
…“Don’t ask me! I don’t even know that guy!” 🤣
Part 9/13
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Papaia and Ravioli are talking about a book Banani found, on the geological evidence of Noah’s Flood.
Ravioli: Look! There are some examples.
Papaia: The 4,500-foot sequence of sedimentary layers in the walls of the Grand Canyon lies well above current sea level. In the past, movements of the Earth’s crust lifted this sedimentary sequence, forming the Kaibab Plateau. However, the eastern part of the sequence (in the eastern Grand Canyon and Marble Canyon areas of northern Arizona) was not uplifted in the same way and is about 2,500 feet (762 meters) lower than the Kaibab Plateau. The boundary between the Kaibab Plateau and the less-uplifted eastern canyons is marked by a large step-like fold called the East Kaibab Monocline.
Ravioli: So this uplift lets us observe the folded part.
Papaia: You can observe these folded sedimentary layers in several side canyons. For example, the folded Tapeats Sandstone is visible in Carbon Canyon. Notice that these layers of sandstone have been bent by 90° (a right angle), yet the rock didn’t crack or break at the fold point.
Ravioli: Do we have more examples?
Papaia: Yes. Likewise, the folded layers of Muav and Redwall limestone are visible along nearby Kwagunt Creek. Again, the bending of these limestones didn’t cause cracks or fractures, as one would expect from ancient, brittle rock.
Ravioli: What do you think?
Papaia: Ravioli, the clear conclusion is that these sandstone and limestone layers were all folded and deformed while the sediments were still soft and flexible, very shortly after they were deposited.
Ravioli: Convincing!
Igor: The book? Yes! You… not so much! 🤣
Part 10/13
FLASHBACK – The Banani’s Garden
The car screeches to a halt in the driveway. Chiara jumps out, clutching a pink handbag under her arm. Mom opens the trunk to grab the craft bags.
Mom:
I hope Sniffy will like the new porch made from popsicle sticks…
A deafening ROAR interrupts her sentence. A cloud of white smoke rises behind the house, followed by an increasing whistle.
Chiara (shouting):
What was that?!
Both turn toward the sky. A wobbly rocket but fully accelerating zooms above the roof. It’s covered in papier-mâché with dangling little flags. You can glimpse the transparent dome with two restless figures inside.
Mom (shocked):
…was that… my tulle parachute?!
Chiara (horrified):
SNIFFY!? POOKIE!?
They rush toward the garden, dropping their bags. They pass through the smoke and find Banani frozen, face blackened, hands behind his back. The lawn is scorched, and the trampoline is destroyed.
Mom (in disbelief):
Banani… what happened? 🤣
Silence. Zoom on Banani’s guilty face, eyes downcast with a slight nervous twitch in his eye.
Slow fade out.
Igor:
“What happened”? I’ll tell you, ma’am, what happened! Your son just sent two dogs into orbit! 🤣
Part 11/13
Back to Faggioli.
Banani:
…And since that day, we never saw them again—
Faggioli:
You searched around the neighborhood.
Banani:
Yes, every corner. We even asked the neighbors, but nothing.
Banani looks at the ceiling.
Banani:
At first, I thought and hoped the rocket had fallen in another town and that they had made it. Maybe someone had found them. But then… one day…
Flashback – NASAL Observatory – Night.
An unreal silence envelops the observatory dome.
Banani:
This job is so interesting… and to think I’ve only been at NASAL for a few months!
Banani is bent over the experimental orbital telescope.
Banani:
What hard work! I spent hours calibrating the instrument, but this time I’ll manage to observe that comet they asked me to.
He notices something.
Banani:
Wait! What’s that reflection?
He adjusts the focus.
Banani:
No! I can’t believe it!
A small cylindrical structure slowly rotates in space. Banani zooms in. The label traced with a marker on a faded paint can reads, trembling: “Mission Cuoricino 1.”
Banani stops looking for a moment, as if lacking courage.
Banani (narrating):
I couldn’t believe it. It was the homemade rocket. My rocket.
He zooms in further. From the transparent dome, the two skeletons of Sniffy and Pookie are visible. Still wearing the dresses made by mom and sister. Inside the dome, a little note. Zooming even more, Banani reads: “To Sniffy and Pookie – have a good trip (but be back before dinner) – Banani.” 🤣
Banani remains motionless. His heart pounds. He slowly sits down, moving away from the eyepiece.
BANANI
(weak voice)
Sniffy… Pookie…
His eyes become misty. With a slow gesture, he removes his foggy glasses and wipes a tear.
No one sees him. Only the stars.
Cut to a starry sky. A spark passes by, maybe a meteorite. Or maybe not.
Igor:
The telescope scene really moved me! Yet, there’s one thing that puzzles me! The note! 🤣
… Can someone explain what that note even means? 🤣
… As if dogs could read! 🤣
… But let’s imagine they could, what would they think? “Ah, thanks Banani! You’re the one who really cares! You sent us here into space to suffocate, but at least you wrote us a little note. How kind of you!” 🤣
… Yeah, and what does the note say? “Be back before dinner”? 🤣
… As if coming back home depended on them. 🤣
… Imagine if Banani had actually been consistent with that note he wrote 🤣
… He’d have had to say something like “Ah! Naughty girls, you’re late! Dinner time was 26 years ago!” 🤣
… “Now I’m coming over and putting you in timeout!” 🤣
… “Oops! Almost forgot, you’re two skeletons in space!” 🤣
… Ah, Banani! A true “misunderstood genius”! Right, Mrs. Banani? 🤣
… I never thought the word “genius” also referred to the creativity someone uses to get rid of their pet! 🤣
Part 12/13
Faggioli:
And then? What happened next?
Banani:
For a while… even my mother was furious. She didn’t talk, didn’t cook. She destroyed the paw-shaped curtains she had sewn for them.
But then… she forgave me. She said it was a mistake “due to misunderstood genius.” 🤣
Only… Chiara didn’t. From that day on… she never spoke to me again.
Faggioli nods, takes notes. Banani remains still, lost in memories.
Faggioli:
So… Chihuahua breed, correct?
Banani:
I think so… they were small, always trembling. One had, like… a bow, I think.
Faggioli:
Interesting… interesting.
And the color?
Banani:
One maybe white, the other brownish? I don’t remember clearly…
Faggioli:
Don’t remember?
Banani, this detail is crucial.
Banani:
The dog’s color?
Faggioli:
Yes. It might indicate something about your repressed guilt. Or an archetypal symbolism of orbital ejection trauma… 🤣
Banani:
Or maybe just that they were little dogs with clothes and I didn’t pay attention?
Here comes Tony the Sock, Faggioli pulled him out and starts humming mischievously.
Tony the Sock (singing):
“Two little dogs, two princesses,
now orbiting with the comets!
Banani does science with the explosive rocket,
but ends up alone… with emotional grief!”
Faggioli pretends nothing’s happening, while Tony curls up in a theatrical bow and Faggioli puts him back in his pocket.
Faggioli takes notes as if nothing happened.
Faggioli:
The sock’s reaction is interesting. A comic projection of the superego, perhaps…
Banani sighs and sinks into the chair.
Igor:
… And finally, we have Faggioli with his “orbital ejection trauma”! 🤣
… Basically, Faggioli wants me to believe that this thing not only happened to some other patients… but it happened so many times that someone even decided to give it a name! 🤣
… “Orbital ejection trauma,” you’ll find it in every psychology manual… obviously! 🤣
Part 13/13
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Papaia and Ravioli are talking about a book Banani found, about geological evidence of Noah’s flood.
Ravioli: And can secular geology not explain this phenomenon?
Papaia: Their calculations don’t add up. In fact, they claim that the Tapeats Sandstone and the Muav Limestone were deposited between 500 and 520 million years ago; the Redwall Limestone between 330 and 340 million years ago; and finally the Kaibab Limestone, at the top of the sequence , 260 million years ago. Later, the Kaibab Plateau was uplifted (about 60 million years ago), causing the folding.
Ravioli: But that’s a long time after!
Papaia: Exactly! That’s an interval of about 440 million years between the first deposit and the folding. How could the Tapeats Sandstone and Muav Limestone still be soft and flexible, as if they had just been deposited? Shouldn’t they have fractured and broken if bent after 440 million years from deposition?
Ravioli: Something’s definitely off here!
Igor: Where? In secular geology, or in you? 🤣
… Maybe in both! 🤣