Three scientists — Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli — and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, start showing an interest in creationism. Their superiors, worried, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.
We are in Professor Faggioli’s office, where Ravioli is undergoing evaluation. Ravioli was telling the story of when he had found a girlfriend.
Faggioli: Ok! This sounds hilarious… I mean… interesting. Please, go on. How did it end?
Ravioli (sadly): Eh, in the end she dumped me!
Faggioli: Why am I not surprised by this plot twist?
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Ravioli: Everything was going fine. Until one day I invited her to a restaurant.
Faggioli: And you made her pay the bill?
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Ravioli: No, no. It was because of a piece of pizza…
Faggioli (astonished): What?
We flash back to that evening…
Scene: “The Test of Love” – Restaurant “The Galactic Oven”
Ravioli is sitting at a romantic table for two, lit by a candle. He’s wearing a shirt that’s way too tight, clearly bought back in middle school. In front of him: a huge steaming pizza. Across from him: his girlfriend, elegant and smiling.
Girlfriend: This is such a special evening, Ravioli… Thank you for bringing me here.
Ravioli: Don’t mention it! When it comes to food… uh, I mean: when it comes to you, I spare no expense!
Girlfriend (giggling): How sweet! You know, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while…
Ravioli (attentive): Shoot, I’m all ears! And pizza… I mean, present!
Girlfriend: Can I have a piece of your pizza?
(Ravioli freezes. His face tenses. A bead of sweat runs down his temple.)
Ravioli: Uh… a… piece? Of *my* pizza?
Girlfriend: Yes, just one bite… I promise I’ll leave you alone afterward.
(Ravioli hugs the plate like it’s a puppy.)
Ravioli: But… it’s the part with the most mozzarella… see? It’s perfectly balanced… if I take it off, the whole pizza loses its meaning…
Girlfriend (surprised): So… you don’t want to share it?
Ravioli (bursting out): It’s not that I *don’t want* to… it’s just… it’s pizza! I mean… there are sacred things in life!
Girlfriend (coldly): Ah, I see. So for you, a pizza is more important than me?
Ravioli (without thinking): Well… at least pizza doesn’t ask me to change it!
(Silence. The girlfriend looks at him as if she just witnessed a documentary about an extinct animal.)
Girlfriend: Now I understand. It wasn’t maternal instinct… it was pity.
(She stands up. With an elegant but decisive move, she grabs a slice of pizza and slams it into his face.)
Girlfriend: Goodbye, Ravioli.
(She exits the scene with dignity. Ravioli remains seated, face covered in mozzarella and tomato sauce. Slowly, he licks one cheek.)
Ravioli: …Mmmh… Margherita. At least the mozzarella didn’t go to waste.
(Camera zooms in on Ravioli, alone at the table. A candle flickers. In the background, a very sad lo-fi violin version of “O Sole Mio” plays.)
When Igor heard about it, he commented: Ravioli got dumped by his girlfriend over a piece of pizza?
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No, it’s not his fault like you might think. It was all a misunderstanding from the start. In fact, the girlfriend had never realized that when Ravioli talked about “the love of his life,” he was actually referring to buffalo mozzarella!
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