The Clown in the Closet

We’re back in Professor Faggioli’s office.
Banani’s session continues.

INT. PROFESSOR FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE

FAGGIOLI
Earlier you said clowns haunted you throughout your childhood. I take it there were other incidents as well?

BANANI
Yes, Professor. The worst of them all is the one I still dream about today.

FAGGIOLI
You’re referring to the clown in the closet. The one you mentioned before.

BANANI
Yes, that one.

FLASHBACK – EXT. “MC TONNALDS” FAST FOOD – AFTERNOON
Flickering sign, scent of fried food in the air, kids smearing ketchup everywhere. A back door creaks open.

INT. MAINTENANCE ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Dripping pipes, flickering lights. Banani’s father, PAPA BANANI, in his fifties, is kneeling near an outlet, screwdriver and flashlight in his mouth. He works skillfully, then sighs.

SERGIO, the owner, walks in—chubby, with a greasy striped shirt and a tiny mustache, chewing on a sandwich as he talks.

SERGIO
So, how’s the sign look, Banani?

PAPA BANANI
Fixed. I replaced the burnt wires and reinforced the base. It shouldn’t short out anymore, even when it rains.

SERGIO
(laughs)
Perfect. And the fryer?

PAPA BANANI
That’s worse. I’ll come back tomorrow with the right parts.

Papa Banani stands up, wipes his hands on a rag, and glances at the storage corner. There’s a dusty statue of a clown—Mc Tonnalds’ official mascot—with a painted smile and open arms.

PAPA BANANI
What about that? It’s in rough shape.

SERGIO
Ah, the mascot. We haven’t used it in months. Kids start crying the moment they see it. But if you can fix it, maybe we’ll put it back in the play area.

PAPA BANANI
Can I take it home? I’ll work on it more calmly there.

SERGIO
Go ahead. It’s just collecting dust in here. But watch out, yeah? That thing always gave me the creeps.

PAPA BANANI
Sure, it’s creepy, but it’s just plastic and paint. What’s the worst it could do?

He laughs. Sergio doesn’t.

SERGIO
Yeah. What could it do… 🤣

EXT. MC TONNALDS PARKING LOT – SUNSET
Papa Banani loads the statue into the trunk of his old compact car.

PAPA BANANI
There we go. Bit bulky for the garage. You’re going in the closet.

End of flashback

FAGGIOLI
Though I despise the food they serve, I know those peddlers of saturated fats well!

BANANI
It was super famous in town. There was always a line. And that statue… they used to keep it at the entrance.

FAGGIOLI
I see where this is going. Their mascot is a clown.

BANANI
Exactly. My dad put it in the closet. He said he’d fix it the next day. But that night…

Flashback – BANANI’S HOUSE – HALLWAY – NIGHT
Silence. A bedroom door creaks open. Eight-year-old Banani, sleepy-eyed, shuffles barefoot through the dark.

YOUNG BANANI
(sleepy)
Need… water…

He heads toward the kitchen but opens the wrong door. It’s the closet.

The hallway light partially illuminates the inside.
And there it is: the clown.
Tall, rigid, frozen smile, glassy stare.
Looking straight into his eyes.

YOUNG BANANI
(blood-curdling scream)
AAAAHHHHH!!!

The light switches on. His parents rush into the hallway.

BANANI’S MOM
What’s happening?! What’s going on?!

BANANI’S DAD
Something wrong?!

Trembling, Banani points at the closet.

YOUNG BANANI
In there… he… was watching me!

His father slowly opens the closet. The statue is there, motionless. He sighs.

BANANI’S DAD
It’s just the statue, son! It doesn’t do anything.

BANANI’S MOM
We didn’t know it scared you that much… 🤣


BACK TO PRESENT – FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE

FAGGIOLI
Were your parents aware of your phobia?

BANANI
After the birthday incident, the wealthier kids were sent to a psychologist.
Me… well, handyman work didn’t exactly pay much.

FAGGIOLI
I see. But did they help you in any way?

BANANI
They thought I’d gotten over it. Also because… I never wanted to talk about it.

Banani looks down.
In the shadows, Igor shifts slightly and mutters:

IGOR
Sergio, the owner of the place, looked at that clown statue and said: “What’s the worst it could do?”
Well, it seems Banani wasn’t the only one in town with coulrophobia! 🤣
… Yeah. What can a statue do? Tap dance? Play cards? I don’t know… and apparently neither did Sergio! 🤣
… Okay, Sergio, let me help you out. Know what a statue can do? Nothing! Same as rocks dream about! 🤣
… You know, people in Banani’s hometown were a bit weird. Starting with his family. Let’s piece this together.
Dad puts the statue in the closet.
Then little Banani wakes up in the dead of night, groggy, opens the wrong door—and BAM, face to face with the clown.
And then Mom says: “We didn’t know it scared you that much”? 🤣
… Sorry, but that line is suspicious. Suspicious and out of place! What did she mean by that? That it wasn’t an accident? 🤣
… First off, she says “We didn’t know”—we. So both parents knew the statue was in there?
Okay, maybe Mom knew. But come on! After watching a clown go up in flames with his own eyes, did they really think a clown statue would only scare him a little? 🤣
… Maybe it was a test… to see if little Banani was still scared of clowns. 🤣
… Of course he was!
Or maybe they just wanted a good laugh, and things got out of hand. 🤣
… Ha! Mom and Dad… what a prank! 🤣
… Thanks, I had a great time! 🤣
… Just one more tiny childhood trauma! 🤣
… Now that’s what I call sensitive parenting! 🤣