We’re in Professor Faggioli’s office.
Banani’s session continues.
FAGGIOLI
Yes… where were we?
BANANI
I was talking about my clown phobia. But if you prefer, we can talk a bit about you… 🤣
FAGGIOLI
No, no! Go on… Did you experience anything in particular that fed this fear?
BANANI
Yes. The first incident goes back to kindergarten, during my classmate Gigi’s birthday party.
FAGGIOLI
Go ahead.
FLASHBACK – OUTSIDE – GIGI’S BACKYARD – AFTERNOON
Music, kids playing, balloons, entertainment. Banani (6 years old) is running around with his friend Leo.
LEO
Come on, let’s hide in the shed!
BANANI
Great idea!
They open the shed door. Inside, sitting on a crate, is a clown. He’s talking to himself in a desperate tone.
CLOWN
(to himself)
…I had my own act… my own show… and she, that witch, ran off with that two-bit juggler…
The clown pulls out a flask and takes long gulps. Banani and Leo cover their noses.
LEO
(whispering)
That stinks… it’s alcohol!
BANANI
(whispering)
Let’s sneak out quietly…
But they make noise. The clown notices them. The kids run off.
OUTSIDE – CAKE TABLE – MOMENTS LATER
All the kids are gathered around the cake. The clown stumbles in.
KIDS
(excitedly)
The clown! The clown!
BANANI (voice-over)
He was laughing and walking like he was acting… but it wasn’t an act.
The clown slips and falls face-first into the cake. Sponge and cream fly everywhere.
GIGI’S MOM
Oh my god! Is he okay?
GIGI’S DAD
He looks drunk…
The clown gets up, covered in cake, stumbles again… and trips into the lit barbecue.
A burst of flames. Screams.
BANANI (voice-over)
It was one of those old-fashioned cakes… sponge and rum.
A bomb. And he was already soaked. 🤣
The clown catches fire. He screams, flails.
BANANI (voice-over)
Then… like in a horror movie… he started running toward the pool.
The pool is on the other side of the yard. The kids freeze, watching him come toward them in flames, covered in scorched cream and frosting.
LEO
He’s coming toward us!
BANANI (voice-over)
We were right in the middle. Between him and the water. And it looked like he was coming straight at us.
The clown stumbles, gets back up, yells something incomprehensible, then collapses just a few feet from the kids. The parents rush over and cover him. The water finally puts the fire out.
OUTSIDE – FRONT GATE – MOMENTS LATER
An ambulance arrives. The paramedics load the clown onto a stretcher. He’s alive, but trembling, burned, covered in cream and smoke. As they lift him, he mutters disjointed words:
CLOWN
…I just wanted… to make balloon animals… 🤣
BACK TO PRESENT – PROFESSOR FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE
BANANI
Since that day… every time I see a clown, I get the feeling he’s about to run straight at me.
FAGGIOLI
I see. A powerful scene… traumatically clownish.
IGOR
If you ask me, someone missed a golden opportunity here! And that someone is Faggioli! He should’ve accepted when Banani offered to talk about him for a bit. 🤣
…Anyway, the line “we were talking about clowns,” right before “should we talk about you now?”—directed at Faggioli—felt suspiciously ironic to me. 🤣
…Like, if you reword Banani’s sentence, it’d be: “We’ve just talked about clowns. Since we’re on the subject, why don’t we talk about you, Faggioli?” 🤣
…But on another note, that story reminded me of those old cakes, so soaked in alcohol that if you stuck a slice in a bottle, you could use it as a Molotov! 🤣
…Also, we totally underestimated that clown. Sure, he was down on his luck. But the guy definitely had a sense of humor! I mean, think about it: fired from the circus, dumped by his girl, nearly burned alive… and all he says is “I just wanted to make balloon animals”? 🤣
…Well, sorry clown! Mission failed! 🤣
…Still, one way or another, you sure gave us a show! 🤣
…Yeah, a show with you as the Human Torch! 🤣