Three scientists — Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli — and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin taking an interest in creationism. Their superiors, concerned, send them to a psychologist: Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.
We’re in Professor Faggioli’s office, where Ravioli is undergoing evaluation.
Ravioli was talking about a fish-based dinner.
[Back to the NASAL office. Faggioli adjusts his glasses, staring sternly at Ravioli.]
Faggioli (scribbling nervously):
“Tell me, Mr. Ravioli… was there lemon… on the sea bass?”
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Ravioli (thinking for a second):
“Actually… there were onions.”
[Silence. The distant ticking of a clock. Faggioli’s eyes widen, he knocks his pen off the table, then jumps to his feet.]
Faggioli (bursting into a theatrical monologue):
“Onions? Onions?!
On sea bass?? That’s sacrilege!
Gastronomic blasphemy!
A barbaric act against the natural order of flavors!”
[He starts pacing, agitated, like a lawyer delivering a fiery closing argument.]
Faggioli (building up):
“Lemon, Mr. Ravioli! Lemon is harmony!
It’s purity, balance — it is… it is the very essence of maritime civilization!
And what does that reckless excuse of a chef use?
Onions! Pestilence! Invasion! The collapse of culinary dignity!”
[He stops, panting, a hand clutching his chest.]
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Faggioli (tragically, gazing at the ceiling):
“What will become of us, Mr. Ravioli,
if we can no longer trust a simple baked sea bass?”
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[Dramatic pause. Ravioli stares, unsure whether to answer… or flee.]
Ravioli (carefully):
“…I hid it anyway.”
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Igor:
“Faggioli lost his mind over onions on a sea bass instead of lemon…
If they’d served him canned fish, he probably would’ve fainted.”
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