The Vice.
Three scientists — Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli — and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin to show an interest in creationism. Their superiors, concerned, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.
We’re in Professor Faggioli’s office, where Ravioli is undergoing an evaluation.
Faggioli:
So, Mr. Ravioli, we were talking about your… um… problematic eating habits. You were telling me about afterschool.
Ravioli (nodding):
Yes, yes… Well, when they served fish, I… I didn’t want to eat it. But I knew that if I didn’t, they’d punish me. So… so I hid it in my backpack.
Faggioli (taking furious notes):
Interesting. Classic evasive strategy of… of the cowardly patient. Please, go on.
Ravioli (ignoring the remark):
Over time, it became a habit. Not just at school… One time, years later, at a work dinner… they served baked sea bream. Beautiful to look at, stinky to eat.
Faggioli:
Ah, sea bream… the betrayer fish of emotions.
Ravioli (shrugging):
I… didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to make a bad impression. So… I stuffed it in my lab coat.
🤣🤣🤣
…Whole!
🤣🤣🤣
Faggioli (eyes wide):
In your… in your lab coat?!
Ravioli (looking at his hands, as if reliving the scene):
Yes. It was still warm. Broth was dripping into my pockets…
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…I pretended nothing was wrong all evening.
Faggioli (clenching his teeth, holding back a sadistic smile):
A… a brilliant strategy of… unconscious self-sabotage. Go on, please, go on.
Ravioli (barely above a whisper):
In the end… after years like that… One evening I looked at them. My colleagues. Laughing, joking, passing around fish dishes… And me… I was just standing there, sweaty, with yet another mackerel hidden on me.
🤣🤣🤣
…And… I felt… alone.
🤣🤣🤣
[A pause. Faggioli leans forward, staring intensely.]
Faggioli:
Very interesting. You’ve developed a mechanism of emotional isolation… I’d say a typical case of “auto-fisholation”…
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[He stops, realizes the slip, coughs awkwardly.]
Faggioli (correcting himself):
I meant… social self-isolation, of course. A completely irrelevant lexical slip, obviously. Details, details… Let’s continue.
Igor:
Ravioli, same as always — fish in one pocket… and brain in the other!
🤣🤣🤣