Episode 11: The Fish Nightmare
We are in Professor Faggioli’s office.
Ravioli’s session continues.
Faggioli: You were telling me about the first time you experienced emotional eating.
Ravioli: Yes. It was one of those evenings when, after a long lecture, I was sent to bed without TV.
Faggioli: Yes… the usual ineffective punishments.
Ravioli: Well, not exactly. The worst part was the hunger. You see, it was either eat the broccoli or skip dinner.
Faggioli: And that evening you chose the latter…
Ravioli: You see, Faggioli, I just couldn’t bring myself to eat that stuff… no offense!
Faggioli: Don’t worry, I don’t like repeating myself. I won’t lecture you again, go ahead… I mean, please continue.
Ravioli: Right. I was saying that, at first, the hunger was unbearable. But then I discovered a trick to save myself.
Faggioli: A trick?
Ravioli: Yes, when my mom would come in to tuck me in, I’d pretend to be asleep…
Faggioli: Ah, you little rascal!
Ravioli: … then I’d wait a few minutes, sneak out of my room, head to the kitchen, and fill the pockets of my pajamas with sweets and mini pizzas. Finally, I’d go back to my room and eat as much as I could.
Faggioli: I see! Just like you wanted to do with my chocolates, right?
Ravioli: Uh… yes, exactly like that.
Faggioli: Wait a moment.
Faggioli scratches his chin, deep in thought.
Faggioli: Something doesn’t add up here. If your parents were so health-conscious, what were sweets and mini pizzas doing in the kitchen?
Ravioli: Ha, ha, ha! Pure hypocrisy, professor! You see, Faggioli, my mom loved sweets and mini pizzas too. She’d eat them in secret while I was at school.
Faggioli: Uhm… I see. A family… vice!
Ravioli: I’d say so!
Faggioli: But didn’t your mother notice that things were missing from the pantry?
Ravioli: No, no one ever found out. That’s because my dad also loved junk food, as you called it, and late at night, after me, he’d get up and finish off whatever he could find!
Faggioli: So, the next morning, the pantry was empty, and your mom thought it was your dad!
Ravioli: Looks like you’ve got it, professor!
Faggioli: Rather than being the bastion of healthy living, your house seems more like… the palace of hypocrisy!
Ravioli: Sometimes, passing near their bedroom, I’d hear them arguing about me.
Faggioli: And what would they say?
Ravioli: My mom would scold my dad for his gluttony. Pretty much the same lectures she gave me. She’d tell him she didn’t want me to turn out like them.
Faggioli: Very noble. But they should’ve set a real example, not a fake one.
Ravioli: But I understand them, Faggioli. You know, once you start with those delicious, tasty things, it’s hard to stop, even if you know they’re bad for your health.
Faggioli: Fortunately, my father was better than yours. A serious and virtuous man who would never have allowed that poison in his house.
Ravioli: Yeah… good for you.
Faggioli: You see, your mother and father—your father especially—set a terrible example for you… Weak and foolish people! Certainly not like my wise father!
Ravioli: Okay, okay!
Faggioli: So, how did you find out what they were doing?
Ravioli: Well, first, I always wondered why, if they ate healthy food like they told me to, they were just as chubby as I was.
Faggioli: A true scientist from a young age!
Ravioli: Then one day, I saw my mom unpacking the groceries on the table. In front of me, it was all fish and vegetables, but then she’d send me out to take out the trash. But that day, I’d forgotten a bag. When I opened the door again… the table was full of sweets and mini pizzas!
Faggioli: You hit the jackpot!
Ravioli: Heh, heh. But I was smart! I waited for my mom to hide those goodies.
Faggioli: And now you knew the hiding spot.
Ravioli: That very night, I had a feast. My nights of hunger were over!
Faggioli: But didn’t your parents worry about you not eating anything?
Ravioli: Not at all! Like I told you, I ate lunch at the after-school program!
Faggioli: A little criminal mastermind!
Ravioli: Anyway, my life wasn’t easy. And one night, I had that nightmare. I woke up suddenly. I was terrified. My heart was pounding. There was only one way to calm my anxiety: the sweets and mini pizzas hidden in my bedside drawer!
Faggioli: So, to calm your anxiety, you… stuffed yourself!
Ravioli: After that nightmare, I just needed to eat something… good. When I tasted those delicious sweets and those succulent mini pizzas… I felt… in a way… better.
Faggioli: Well, well, well, Ravioli! We’ve unearthed quite a few skeletons—uh, sorry, I mean… important details about your childhood. You said you had a nightmare. What was it about?
Ravioli: It’s a recurring nightmare, one I still have sometimes when I’m really worried about something. It’s about a giant boiled fish chasing me.
Faggioli: Why is the fish chasing you?
Ravioli: Because it wants me to eat it! But I hate fish… even more than broccoli!
Faggioli: What did we say, Ravioli, about healthy food? But, as I said, I won’t repeat myself—go on with the dream!
Ravioli: As I said, the boiled fish is chasing me. It’s chasing me down the school hallway.
Faggioli: The school hallway?
Ravioli: Yes, my elementary school. In the dream, the scene becomes horrible and disgusting. There are pieces of broccoli and fish scattered everywhere. Then I hear voices, and when I look around… the bullies are there!
Faggioli: Bullies?
Ravioli: Yes! In the dream, I see some of my old classmates who used to tease me and play mean pranks on me. In the dream, they’re mocking me in front of everyone. Then I realize I’m wearing my old school backpack. One of them snatches it off me, opens it, and spills the contents all over the floor. Inside, there’s the fish with broccoli—rotten, smelly, and moldy.
Faggioli: Hmm… there’s a lot to unpack here. We’ve thrown a lot on the grill. Right, Tony?
As usual, Faggioli’s sock puppet comes to life in his hands.
Tony: I don’t know, Faggioli! More than throwing things on the grill, I’d say… fish in water… boiling! Ha, ha, ha! Boiled fish… with BROCCOLI! Ha, ha, ha!
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Papaia and Banani continue talking about the book.
Papaia: So, the first evidence the book presents is the fact that we find fossils of marine creatures far above sea level.
Banani: Yes. This shows us that ocean waters flooded the continents.
Papaia: You mentioned that marine fossils are found on mountains all over the world.
Banani: That’s right. Here are a couple of examples. The first is in the rock layers of the Grand Canyon, more than a thousand meters above sea level. The second is in the Himalayas, much higher, where we find fossils of mollusks.
Igor: Fossilized shells on the Grand Canyon? Well, now we know why!
What are we doing at a psychologist’s office? After a few trips with Papaia, that’s also easy to figure out. I’m not here by accident, after all. In fact, even today, I wonder why I keep following them. Anyway, like those shells, if Ravioli’s session drags on much longer, we’ll start fossilizing too. Especially listening to Papaia and Banani repeat the same things over and over again. But in the end, what can we say? We’re truly a… NASAL case!
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