Episode 9: Nervous Hunger
We are in Professor Faggioli’s office.
Faggioli: Ah, Ravioli, I apologize. I forgot to inform you that our session is being recorded by a CCTV camera.
Faggioli points to the camera mounted on the cabinet beside the desk.
Faggioli: But don’t worry, the recording will be published on YouTube… I mean… it won’t be made public. It will only be viewed by your superiors, if necessary.
Ravioli: That’s fine!
The session continues, and while Ravioli speaks, Faggioli notices his gaze repeatedly drifting toward the bowl of chocolates resting on the desk.
Faggioli: Would you like a chocolate, Ravioli?
Ravioli: Umm… I’d accept, but I’m trying to… quit.
Faggioli picks up the box of chocolates.
Faggioli: Quit, huh? Then here’s what we’ll do… I’ll hide them here… in my drawer.
Faggioli hides the chocolates in his desk drawer and then excuses himself.
Faggioli: Excuse me, Ravioli, but I need to step out for a moment… if you’ll excuse me… I’ll be right back.
Ravioli: Yes, professor. No problem, you know… I suffer from incontinence too.
Faggioli: Good, good! Just stay comfortable… I’ll be back in a moment.
Faggioli gets up from his chair and enters the bathroom. Instead of using the facilities, he hides behind the door and spies on Ravioli’s behavior. Ravioli nervously rubs his stomach, then, after glancing around, stands up, opens the drawer, reaches inside, and quickly stuffs his pocket with chocolates. At that very moment, Faggioli steps out of the bathroom and catches him red-handed.
Faggioli: What are you doing, Ravioli? Are you stealing chocolates?
Ravioli turns as red as a tomato.
Ravioli: I’m sorry, Professor Faggioli! I’m… mortified.
Faggioli: Don’t worry, Ravioli! It was just… a test. I was testing you to verify some information in your file.
Ravioli: I’m so sorry, so sorry!
Faggioli: Tell me, Ravioli. Earlier, you said you were trying to quit… why is that?
Ravioli: Well, let’s just say that once I start…
Faggioli: … You can’t stop, right?
Ravioli, embarrassed, admits:
Ravioli: Uh, yes. That’s exactly it!
Faggioli: I see, so you’re addicted to chocolate.
Ravioli: No! What are you talking about, Faggioli? For your information, I haven’t had chocolate!
Faggioli: Really? And how long has it been?
Ravioli: Faggioli, I haven’t had chocolate since… this morning! At breakfast!
Faggioli: But, Ravioli! It’s still 9 a.m.!
Ravioli: Um… I know it seems like nothing, but this is my… personal record! Maybe this time, I’ll make it…
Faggioli: Yes, but I just caught you stealing chocolates…
Ravioli: No, but I wasn’t going to eat them…
Faggioli: Oh, give me a break, Ravioli! Everyone at the observatory knows about your addiction. And besides, it’s written right here in your file.
Ravioli: What? What does chocolate have to do with my job?
Faggioli: Chocolate has everything to do with it, Ravioli. And your nervous hunger is one of the issues that brought you here today.
Ravioli: Excuse me, professor, but I still don’t understand.
Faggioli: You don’t understand, huh? Then let me explain it to you. Here on your file, there’s a record of several incidents where this little obsession of yours… cost the company dearly!
Ravioli: Incidents? What incidents?
Faggioli: Let me refresh your memory, Ravioli.
Faggioli quickly skims the file.
Faggioli: Here it is! For example, that time you cloned the company card to buy your sweet “snacks” from the vending machine at the airport…
Ravioli: Hey, who ratted me out? It was Papaia, wasn’t it?
Faggioli remains silent.
Ravioli (irritated): I knew it! But he probably left out the part where he asked me to withdraw cash! And then he even tried to attack me!
Faggioli: That’s not my concern, Ravioli. But it is your problem now.
Faggioli resumes reading the file.
Faggioli: And, on top of that, I have plenty of other cases like this one here.
Ravioli is left speechless, unable to justify himself.
Faggioli (reassuringly): Anyway, don’t worry… we’re here to fire you… I mean, to help you.
Ravioli: Thank you, professor!
Faggioli: Let’s see here… it also says in your file that you suffer from nervous hunger. Apparently, this has even compromised the results of your measurements on several occasions.
Ravioli: Yes, that’s true. The boss has scolded me many times for my distractions, which only get worse as lunchtime approaches.
Faggioli (rubbing his hands): Very well. You and I have already made some progress.
Faggioli glances at the camera, ensuring the red light indicates the recording is on. He then smiles at the camera and gives two triumphant thumbs up before turning back to Ravioli.
Faggioli: You see, Ravioli, our work requires patience and focus. We can’t afford distractions. If you want to stay here at NASAL, you’ll need to learn to control your nervous hunger, especially as mealtimes approach. There are exercises you can do at home. For instance, staying up all night and skipping breakfast. I suggest you start tomorrow morning by skipping breakfast. This will help you mess up even more… I mean… strengthen your self-control.
Ravioli: Oh, Faggioli! That’s impossible for me. I don’t know if I can do it!
Faggioli: Ravioli, let me be direct with you. The situation is this: either you manage it, or you lose your job!
Ravioli (resigned): Ugh!
Faggioli: Heh, heh! You think this poor fool believed us? What do you think, Tony?
Faggioli pulls an old sock from his desk drawer and puts it on his hand like a puppet. It’s his imaginary friend, Tony.
Tony: Oh yes, Faggioli! The fool totally bought it! Ha, ha, ha! Now he’ll show up to work tired and starving, and he’s bound to mess everything up! Ha, ha, ha!
Meanwhile, Papaia and Banani are waiting in the lobby.
Banani: Ouch! That extra large swab is still hurting me!
Papaia: Don’t even get me started. Listening to Ravioli always leads to something like this!
Banani: Looks like we’re going to be waiting here for a while!
Igor: Knowing Ravioli, I’m sure he has plenty of material to share with the psychologist!
Banani: Good thing I brought my grandfather’s book with me!
Banani keeps reading for a while, then suddenly pauses.
Banani: Hey, Papaia, did you know that in chapters 7 and 8 of Genesis, it talks about a global catastrophe where the Earth is completely submerged?
Papaia: Yeah, of course. Who doesn’t know that?
Banani: Sure, that’s obvious! But there’s an interesting detail: in Genesis 7, it says, ‘all the fountains of the great deep burst forth.’
Papaia: Oh, I didn’t know that! So, it’s not just about rain, but also massive underwater eruptions!
Banani: Not just regular eruptions. Are you familiar with the theory of Pangaea?
Papaia: Yes, I seem to recall that the continents, which are now separated, were initially united into one supercontinent that scholars named Pangaea.
Banani: Exactly, and the fact that the shapes of the continents fit together is evidence of that.
Papaia: Yes, but it’s supposed to have been an extremely slow process, lasting millions of years.
Banani: Not necessarily. Imagine being in Pangaea, and suddenly the continents begin separating rapidly.
Papaia: Oh, I wouldn’t want to be there! That would be an unimaginable catastrophe!
Banani: Like a global flood?
Papaia: Wow! That would lead to the separation of continents and the formation of high mountains!
Banani: Exactly. The author suggests that these eruptions could have shattered Pangaea, the original configuration of the continents, and caused their separation as we know them today.
Papaia: So, we’re not talking about a slow and steady movement of the plates, but rather a sudden shift caused by the catastrophe.
Banani: Yes, exactly! The continents would have separated within a few months, not over millions of years!
Papaia: Still, it seems highly unlikely that all the plates would shift simultaneously!
Banani: If we think of it as a random event, that’s true. But Genesis talks about a divine intervention—a decision by God to destroy humanity, saving only those on the ark.
Papaia: Fascinating! That would be a biblical event whose effects we still see today!
Banani: What do you think?
Papaia: I’m not sure… but it does make sense.
Banani: At school, they always taught us the millions-of-years theory, but I’ve never heard of this alternative hypothesis.
Papaia: You’re right, Banani. After all, the account in Genesis, seen this way, seems entirely plausible and not just a myth, as we were always taught.
Igor: Well done, Papaia! Now all you need is a plausible story to explain to the psychologist how you manage to afford all these… distractions at work!