Three scientists\u2014Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli\u2014and their assistant Igor, who all work at NASAL, start showing an interest in creationism. Worried, their superiors send them to see a psychologist: Professor Faggioli, a questionable figure determined to get them fired by making them seem insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re in Faggioli\u2019s office, where Papaia is undergoing a psychological evaluation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, Professor Papaia. We\u2019ve reached the end. I just have one last question for you. Tell me\u2026 how did you spend your Sunday?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, Sunday? Wonderful! I woke up\u2026 dunno, around half past twelve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Half past twelve… I see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(gritting his teeth slightly, jotting down a sharp note)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I had breakfast: coffee with almond milk and two expired marshmallows\u2014but still nice and chewy! Then I thought: \u201cTime to mow the lawn!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At… one o\u2019clock, I suppose?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yep! Only thing was, the gas can was empty. So I grabbed it and went to the gas station… in my flip-flops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(tensing up)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In… flip-flops?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah! And with a bag of ketchup-flavored chips too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(tapping his pen sharply on the notebook)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You ate… chips. At the gas station.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly! And then, by accident, I spilled some gasoline on my socks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(completely rigid, jaw clenched, staring at Papaia)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Right. Fantastic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s Sunday… truly productive\u2026 Nobel on the way. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…Sorry, Faggioli\u2026 but what kind of question is \u201cWhat did you do on Sunday?\u201d What\u2019s it for? To check if Papaia says, \u201cI spent the day talking to voices in my head\u201d? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…Are we really at this level of testing? Next thing you know, you\u2019ll ask if he folds his socks properly. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…Ah, perfect\u2026 so now we\u2019re assessing mental stability based on gas station chip consumption\u2026 excellent method. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So. You filled the gas can at the station.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Material?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What material was it? The can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Plastic\u2026 I think?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brand?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brand. Was there a name written on it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t notice\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exact capacity?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ten? Maybe?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Color?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
White or gray\u2026 like\u2026 like a can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cap? Screw-on, bayonet, press-fit, threaded?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(embarrassed)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was\u2026 a cap. You had to screw it off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Retractable spout or separate tube?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was\u2026 a tube\u2026? I dunno\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(sighs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
UN certified or not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(looks around nervously)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2026 don\u2019t know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Graduated markings on the side?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe? I didn\u2019t pay attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Internal gasket? Rubber, silicone\u2026 or none?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Professor\u2026 I just grabbed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Smooth or textured surface?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Textu\u2026 what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Textured. Like\u2026 with anti-slip grip for sweaty hands?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Number of ribs on the left side?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(more intense)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bellows at the neck: wide or narrow?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did it smell like new plastic or like leftover fuel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you hear a \u201cclick\u201d when opening the cap or just a dull \u201cthunk\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was the label a sticker or hot-stamped?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you count the cap turns? The turns, Papaia!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was textured\u2026 like your brain, Faggioli. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only\u2026 the can was\u2026 more useful. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office \u2013 Scene 3<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Pause. Fixed stare, voice lowers.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So we know nothing about the can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bad. Very bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2026 mowed the lawn in flip-flops\u2026 and then left the can empty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. Wait, the can was already empty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
WORSE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2019ve desecrated an agricultural act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A green blasphemy\u2026 uttered right in the middle of the garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Worse\u2026 you\u2019ve written a black page in the history of gardening. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(softly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The weed whackers are already judging you. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli takes a deep breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I was a child\u2026 we didn\u2019t touch the soil on a whim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We tilled it with respect. With real hunger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My father\u2026 now he knew how to raise a son.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(rigid smile)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He\u2019d wake us up before sunrise\u2026 without a word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019d go down in silence\u2026 like soldiers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The earth was our teacher. The hoe, our only tool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(his voice cracks slightly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once, my brother put sugar in his coffee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He made us kneel on dried chickpeas. All of us. Even me, even though I hadn\u2019t done anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo you\u2019ll learn the value of unity,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was right. He was right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(under his breath, sarcastic)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah\u2026 and they say sugar\u2019s only bad for your teeth\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(turning his glare back to Papaia)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you\u2026 use\u2026 a lawnmower! A vulgar lawnmower!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(whispering, with contempt)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A slap in the face of agriculture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And an insult to the memory of those who built with their calloused hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(whispering)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And there it is\u2026 now we\u2019re officially at war with the farming sector. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Watch out, Papaia\u2026 next thing you know, you\u2019ll end up on the farmers\u2019 blacklist. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is there any other evidence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s the DNA found in \u201cancient\u201d bacteria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DNA? You mean organic material?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly. And still intact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And how \u201cancient\u201d are these bacteria supposed to be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pretty ancient. Even the scientists were surprised to find the DNA still intact after a supposed 250 million years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(His tone grows more solemn, almost religious.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The lawnmower\u2026 is an outrage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A machine that devours without respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The earth, Papaia\u2026 the earth is tilled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With a hoe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hand, heart, and hard work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tilling isn\u2019t just about removing weeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s an ancient ritual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A dialogue with the soil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That mechanical buzzing\u2026 it\u2019s an insult to patience,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
a wound in tradition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you want to love the land,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
you take a hoe,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and you work slowly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
because every clod tells a story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The lawnmower?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s just haste, distraction, and ignorance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah\u2026 I\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Quiet, firm voice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t know,\u201d huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If my father had seen someone mowing the lawn with that cursed lawnmower\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
he wouldn\u2019t have said a word\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He would\u2019ve grabbed that lawnmower by force<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and smashed it with the hoe, without hesitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because the land deserves respect,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
not to be challenged by noisy machines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And whoever dares to do so\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
deserves neither pity nor words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(under his breath, sarcastic)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s father\u2026 at the bar they called him \u201cHoe-Everything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He\u2019d hoe through TVs, lawnmowers\u2026 even textured gas cans. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office \u2013 Scene 6<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because you can\u2019t just start hoeing around at random, you understand?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The earth feels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The hoe\u2026 responds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah\u2026 it responds: \u201cBuy a tractor\u2026 and leave me alone.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Faggioli stands up, slowly circling around Papaia like a predator.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You take a hoe\u2026 you look at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is it long? Is it short?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does it lean to the right\u2026 or to the left?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does it go clink when you shake it\u2026 or clunk?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if it rains? Does the handle change? Does the soul change, Papaia!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If he keeps this up\u2026 soon the hoe will have voting rights too. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia blinks. Faggioli stares into space.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (dreamily)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My father\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He used to say: \u201cSon\u2026 whoever doesn\u2019t know the hoe\u2026 will never know love.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One day I told him: \u201cBut Dad\u2026 I want to study psychology.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He cried\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he buried a television\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With the hoe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\u2026 what did the TV have to do with psychology? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026I mean, what was it even doing there? I always thought a guy like Faggioli\u2019s dad spent his evenings watching plants grow! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Maybe\u2026 when everyone was asleep\u2026 he secretly watched Dynasty! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Maybe he caught a couple of episodes and got hooked! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Maybe he knew every character and their backstory by heart! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And that\u2019s why he had it out for the TV! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Can you imagine? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Or maybe\u2026 he just buried the neighbor\u2019s TV! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Pause. Faggioli suddenly turns sharply.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (intensely)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And today\u2026 you come here telling me you got up at noon. And took a gas can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A CAN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Pause)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you mowed the lawn\u2026 with a lawnmower?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA (disoriented)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2026 I was just trying to clean up the garden\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clean up the garden! Hah! Clean up the garden!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clean up the garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clean up the garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clean up the garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clean up the garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ahahahah!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Silence. Faggioli slowly leans in close to Papaia\u2019s face.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (whispering)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The can spoke to you, Papaia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you didn\u2019t listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(sarcastically)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How did Faggioli know? I\u2019ll tell you how: he talks to gas cans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They\u2019re his only real friends. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If they were really that ancient\u2026 we shouldn\u2019t find any trace of them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And how did they discover this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In 2000, scientists claimed to have \u201cresurrected\u201d some bacteria, called Lazarus bacteria, found inside a salt crystal conventionally dated at 250 million years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Resurrected? How did they do that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s complicated\u2026 but the striking thing is that they were shocked to find that the DNA of these bacteria was very similar to that of modern bacteria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And why? Shouldn\u2019t it be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If today\u2019s bacteria were the result of 250 million years of evolution, their DNA should be very different from that of the Lazarus bacteria\u2014based on known mutation rates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 Interior, Night \u2013 Faggioli\u2019s Father\u2019s House (Igor\u2019s Imagination)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(getting up from the table, inspecting each plate one by one)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s see\u2026 empty\u2026 empty\u2026 empty\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(stops in front of the eldest brother\u2019s plate)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S OLDER BROTHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(whispering, terrified)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u2026 a broccoli\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(ice-cold tone)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A broccoli\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(nods toward the mother)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S MOTHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(serious)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Food is not to be wasted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone on their knees. On the chickpeas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
YOUNG FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(choked voice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 I ate all of mine\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(raising the pool cue like a ceremonial staff)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Family unity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
THE BROTHERS<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(all together, kneeling, with desperate looks)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes\u2026 unity\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(30 minutes later)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(impassive)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hands forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BROTHER 1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh no! Now come the strikes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BROTHER 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, no! With the pool cue!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BROTHER 3<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is the worst part!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(striking Faggioli\u2019s hands with the cue)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One\u2026 (thwack)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two\u2026 (thwack)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three\u2026 (thwack)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(reading the writing on the cue)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brunswik\u2026 Elite\u2026 53.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(yelling like a drill sergeant)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lights out! Dead silence!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Flashback \u2013 Faggioli\u2019s Father\u2019s House \u2013 Night \u2013 Igor\u2019s Imagination (Continuation)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(All the children rush into their beds. The mother clears the table and silently cleans the kitchen. Then, looking exhausted, she crawls under the covers.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(looking around)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, finally!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He goes into the living room. There\u2019s a pool table.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There you are! My cue!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He arranges the balls on the table with surgical precision. Plays alone, calculating every angle, every rebound. Not a single missed shot.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Precision and study\u2026 that\u2019s everything!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He keeps playing. Sinks a ball into the pocket.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In life\u2026 there\u2019s no room for mistakes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Another shot. He sinks the last ball.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s enough for today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He sets down the cue.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah\u2026 I\u2019m so good!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad would be proud of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He moves toward the couch. Sits down. Checks the clock. Turns on the TV.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(\u201cDynasty\u201d theme song plays.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(For a second, the father freezes\u2026 then his expression changes: the hard stare melts into a mix of interest and emotional involvement. His eyes light up. He follows the episode with manic attention.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(muttering to himself)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2026 Alexis with her schemes again\u2026 I knew it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(scoffs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Blake? Still the same na\u00efve fool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And her\u2026 she still deludes herself\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(shakes his head, sighs like a life expert)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(The episode ends. The father stands up, turns off the TV. Walks to the storage room. Opens it. Takes out the hoe. Gently strokes it. Then carefully puts it back, like performing a ritual.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S FATHER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(muttering gravely before going to bed)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The earth\u2026 never betrays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He gives the house one last look. Total silence. Then retreats to his room, closing the door with a sharp click.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of Igor\u2019s imagined flashback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But excuse me, Faggioli\u2026 if you love hoeing the earth so much\u2026 why didn\u2019t you become a farmer? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because\u2026 because\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(interrupting, sarcastic)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because psychologists get more vacation time. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Faggioli stiffens. His gaze drifts into space. Then he speaks in a rough, different voice. It\u2019s his father\u2019s voice.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (as his father)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA man who leaves the land to tend to chatter\u2026 is not a man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He\u2019s weak. One who flees from duty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my house, we hoe. We eat what we grow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And we keep quiet. Those who dream, who analyze\u2026 hoe less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A psychiatrist\u2026 What a shame.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Eyes wide open. Looks around, then at Faggioli.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eh? But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli, are you okay?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(in a different, younger, more fragile voice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad, I\u2026 I just wanted to follow my dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To help people, you know? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (FATHER)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(hard, sharp voice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dream? Those who dream are lazy! Your place is here, hoeing the earth,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
working with the hoe, not with empty words! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (himself)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 those aren\u2019t empty words, Dad,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the mind needs care, just like the body\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (FATHER)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enough!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyone who leaves the hoe for the head is a traitor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No one in my family is ashamed of the hoe! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia watches the dialogue wide-eyed and mouth open.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(whispering, lowering his gaze)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Alright, Dad\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (FATHER)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now, immediately, punishment. You know well what you must do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. Kneeling on chickpeas. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Faggioli pulls a handful of dried chickpeas from his pocket and throws them on the floor. Then he kneels on them. \ud83e\udd23)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry, Dad! Sorry, I won\u2019t do it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He stays like that for a few seconds, in front of Papaia\u2019s incredulous eyes. Then he gets up. Picks up the chickpeas. Puts them back in his pocket.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(A moment of silence. The atmosphere lightens. Faggioli catches his breath. His voice returns to normal.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(softly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 was he talking to himself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(as if waking from a dream)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me? Look, it was you who were imitating your father. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. Don\u2019t you remember?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 it was you\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hmm\u2026 interesting. Seems like an unusual form of transference. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not to mention that they found DNA still intact after the supposed 250 million years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As far as I know, DNA degrades quickly, even under ideal conditions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, that\u2019s true. And even evolutionists agree that DNA in bacterial spores (a dormant state) shouldn\u2019t last more than a million years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d say their dilemma is pretty serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(FAGGIOLI looks into the void again. Then his face shifts to a frightened expression, as if he\u2019s seen a ghost.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still holding that same fixed and unsettling expression, he pulls out Tony the Sock.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(shrill, mocking voice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, Papaia\u2026 just a couple of questions\u2026 when you feel lonely\u2026 do you hug a pillow or start singing in Chinese?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(looking confused)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Excuse me, uh\u2026 am I supposed to answer\u2026 to the sock? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(offended)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What sock? I\u2019m Tony! Your psychologist! And my question is clinical. Please answer. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah! Check it out. Tony\u2019s even registered in the Sock Registry! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia looks at Faggioli, who stays motionless, frozen in a mix of astonishment and terror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uh\u2026 I think\u2026 maybe I hug the pillow?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hmm\u2026 very good. And when you dream\u2026 do you often dream of giant broccoli or airport chases? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(shaken, unsure whether to laugh or worry)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2026 well, actually\u2026 I usually dream\u2026 I don\u2019t know\u2026 normal stuff? Like\u2026 when I was a kid?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, Tony! Now you\u2019re mixing him up with Ravioli! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When he was a kid. Good, good. And tell me, what will you do after we get you fired? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2026 honestly\u2026 don\u2019t know\u2026 I thought I\u2019d keep my job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(fake alarm)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Keep your job? Tony, call the stretcher-bearers! He\u2019s nuts! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pauses, softer)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, and speaking of crazy, bring a hoe too\u2026 so Faggioli can calm down. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nope. That\u2019s not an option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What? Faggioli told me he wants to fire me\u2026 I mean\u2026 help me! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia, you got it all wrong\u2026 I mean\u2026 never mind. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have to tell you a secret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What secret?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pointing at Faggioli)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Give him a slap. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who? Faggioli?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(whispering, amused)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh! Finally some sensible advice\u2026 too bad it came from a sock. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah. It\u2019s a test. It\u2019s important. A slap, but not a hard one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you sure? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Actually\u2026 the question wasn\u2019t whether to slap him or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh no? Then what was it about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
About doing it \u201cgently.\u201d Papaia was already ready to give a strong one\u2026 a really strong one! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Come on, what are you waiting for? There\u2019s no time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Okay, whatever you say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia slaps Faggioli lightly. But he remains motionless, eyes lost in the void, like a statue.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(whispering, looking around)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good. Now we can talk. He can\u2019t hear us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(perplexed)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who\u2026 him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli. He\u2019s asleep. Sometimes it happens. He falls asleep and I can talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t be scared, Papaia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It happens to Ravioli too. When he eats too much, he falls asleep and his pizza starts talking from his stomach! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(somewhere between worried and curious)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, I see. In that case\u2026 nice to meet you\u2026 Tony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The pleasure is mine. Listen carefully because we don\u2019t have much time. Faggioli could wake up at any moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Okay. I\u2019m listening. Go ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli is not your friend. In fact, he hates you and wants to get you all fired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(eyes wide open)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(smiling)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Seriously? I thought he was Santa Claus\u2026 but with a hoe instead of a sleigh. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See those cameras back there?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. I saw them. Faggioli says they\u2019re to record the session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hahaha! Poor fool! You understood nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What should I understand?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli is just trying to get you to talk about your problems so he can edit the video and make you look crazy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And how would he do that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Come on, what world do you live in? Never heard of video editing, artificial intelligence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2019re telling me Faggioli wants to manipulate our words against us, sending a doctored video to our bosses?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly! Didn\u2019t you notice his slips of the tongue?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(muttering)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, that\u2019s why! But\u2026 but I was opening up to him\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mistake. Don\u2019t trust him. He doesn\u2019t listen. He studies you. He pretends. He lies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I\u2019m telling you the truth. Be careful!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(muttering, almost to himself)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe I messed up everything\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(fake shocked)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia making a mistake? Never happened! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, but if the Earth is only 6,000 years old, this doesn\u2019t surprise us at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PACO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly. The discovery of the Lazarus bacteria isn\u2019t shocking or surprising at all if we base our expectations on the Bible\u2019s accounts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, Noah\u2019s Flood probably deposited the salt beds that hosted the bacteria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if the Lazarus bacteria are only about 4,500 years old (the approximate time since the global flood), it\u2019s much more likely that their DNA is still intact and similar to that of modern bacteria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ssssh\u2026 don\u2019t say anything more. He\u2019s waking up. Bye!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bye, Tony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silence for a moment. Then Faggioli snaps out of his trance and puts Tony away with an automatic gesture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Detached, as if nothing happened)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where were we, Papaia?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Looks at him confused, halfway between suspicion and panic)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uh\u2026 I think\u2026 we were talking about the lawnmower?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, yes. Tell me, Papaia, how does this thing work? The lawnmower\u2026 how do you adjust it? How long does the gas last? Do you have any idea what maintenance it needs?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Uncertain)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uh\u2026 no, actually\u2026 I wouldn\u2019t know\u2026 I just pushed some levers and hoped\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Sighs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly. The hoe never betrays you. My hoe is made of forged iron, olive wood handle\u2026 an extension of my arm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Looks at him, a bit admiring)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wow\u2026 you really know your hoe!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Proudly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
More than a tool, it\u2019s a tradition. It tells you about the earth, makes you feel life. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sure\u2026 soon he\u2019ll write a biography too\u2026 “Me and My Hoe: A Love Story.” \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (ominously calm)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you want to see it\u2026 the hoe?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What? You have a hoe? Here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wrong answer! The right one was \u201cno, thanks!\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli slowly bends under the desk. Sounds of objects moving, a metallic noise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (standing up)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Life companion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Queen of silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He lifts a rusty hoe with a chipped handle and places it on the desk, right in front of Papaia.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (quietly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I use it to think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\u2026 to bring order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Then, without warning, he raises the hoe and slams it hard on the floor, just inches from Papaia\u2019s foot. CLANG!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (with a crooked smile)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t worry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It hit the wrong tile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(raising an eyebrow)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wrong\u2026 what do you mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pause, softer)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was there a \u201cright\u201d one? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia stiffens. Faggioli leans sideways, pressing the hoe handle between the floor tiles.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some people\u2026 forget things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The details.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The objects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then, one day, they even forget themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He strikes the floor again. TONK.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (smiling without joy):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But not me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(with fake cheerfulness)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, good! So tomorrow you won\u2019t forget to call the tiler! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He approaches, hoe over his shoulder like a rifle.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (in a low voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if one day someone in here forgets\u2026 who the psychologist is\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who keeps things in order\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who has the hoe\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(with innocent but sharp tone)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tell me, Faggioli\u2026 this thing about the hoe on the tiles\u2026 do you do it often?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pause, looking at the floor)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just so I know if I should bring safety shoes next time\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He lowers the hoe again, slowly, until it touches Papaia\u2019s knee.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (whispering):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, let\u2019s say\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d hate to have to till something that walks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Tense silence. Faggioli suddenly straightens up.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(whispering, sarcastic)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Relax, Papaia\u2026 at worst you end up among the experimental crops\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Maybe next time you bring a shovel instead. So they bury you right away. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Yeah, because with Faggioli you either heal quickly or never heal at all! And judging by how it\u2019s going, the \u201cnever\u201d becomes permanent! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Basically, Faggioli applies farming to psychology! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Either the patient bears fruit\u2026 or, with his hoe, he treats them like weeds! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
INT. FAGGIOLI\u2019S OFFICE \u2013 SHORTLY AFTER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Faggioli is serious again. Papaia still sits, visibly tense. Faggioli slowly opens a drawer.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (solemnly):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You were telling me you ate junk food on Sunday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well\u2026 if you want to call it that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you know what the real problem is, Papaia?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nutrition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia looks puzzled.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People eat poison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sugars, fried food, hydrogenated sauces!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But not me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I eat as my father taught me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Dramatic pause. He opens the drawer fully. Pulls out a transparent container with a shapeless gray-green mass.)\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(ironically)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, sure\u2026 the \u201cfamily tradition delicacy\u201d\u2026 Faggioli\u2019s famous \u201choe pesto\u201d! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (with teary eyes):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boiled fish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With broccoli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No salt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia swallows dryly.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (with growing fervor):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From age three to seventeen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My father put it on my plate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He stared at me and said: \u201cChew, son. Chew and become a man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(fake doubt)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 are we sure it was fish?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because\u2026 whatever it was\u2026 it worked\u2026 but in a strange way\u2026 fifty years later\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(serious tone, counting on fingers)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026I mean\u2026 the hoe in the office\u2026 the sock\u2026 the father\u2019s voice bouncing in his head\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pause, looking at Papaia)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d say the fish\u2026 left some\u2026 side effects. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Basically, Faggioli\u2019s childhood was less like a picnic in the garden\u2026 and more like an afternoon at Woodstock\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just\u2026 without the music\u2026 and with more broccoli. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what do evolutionists say?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some have rejected the discovery and believe that the Lazarus bacteria are the result of contamination by modern bacteria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is that possible?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. However, the scientists who discovered the bacteria defend the strict procedures they followed to avoid contamination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So the scientists who made the discovery followed all the procedures to avoid contamination?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, according to their statements. And these are evolutionist scientists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Faggioli opens the container. A sharp vapor spreads through the room. Papaia coughs.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (offended):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s pure!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(sarcastic, waving his hand in front of his nose)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah\u2026 pure\u2026 like a chemical attack!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He takes a fork, plunges it into the fish, scoops up a soggy mush, and lifts it in the air like a trophy.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The broccoli\u2026 is flavorful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boiled cod\u2026 is good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he stops. Looks at Papaia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (serious):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Taste it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA (sweating):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, look, I\u2019ve already had lunch\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (raising his voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TASTE IT!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a nutritional order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He hands the fork to Papaia, trembling. Papaia takes the bite, reluctant. He chews slowly while Faggioli watches proudly.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (moved):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You feel it, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Discipline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Submission to the fibers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA (weakly):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Tastes a bit like\u2026 wall\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (happy):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perfect! It melts in your mouth. That means it\u2019s cooked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What? The fish or your neurons?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
INTERIOR \u2013 FAGGIOLI\u2019S OFFICE \u2013 MOMENTS LATER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Faggioli stands up, approaches a shelf. He takes a slightly yellowed black-and-white photo.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (looking at it with mystical respect):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is my father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He hands the photo to Papaia. It shows a very stern man, bayonet-like mustaches, gaze that pierces the paper.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(fake surprise)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Strange\u2026 from how Faggioli talked about him\u2026 he seemed like such a friendly guy!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah! Friendly like a billiard cue to the hand!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (voice breaking):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know what my father used to do, Papaia?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He raised me with old-school methods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I messed up\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He made me kneel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On chickpeas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dry ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He puts his hand in his pocket, pulls out some dry chickpeas, and throws them on the floor between him and Papaia. PLLOP PLOP PLOP!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (deep voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See, Papaia. Your problem is you need discipline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do you mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (raising his voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
KNEEL ON THE CHICKPEAS! RIGHT NOW!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA (alarmed):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(deadpan irony)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia kneeling on chickpeas? Wasn\u2019t there an app to avoid this stuff?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or maybe do you want to see some more of the hoe?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, no!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (whispering):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kneel down!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia, terrified, kneels on the chickpeas. He emits a faint groan.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ouch\u2026 it hurts\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It must hurt! That\u2019s good for discipline!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(mocking tone)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, and maybe one day you\u2019ll thank him\u2026 when you still remember where your knees are.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli circles around Papaia and stops behind him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See, Papaia, to me you\u2019re like a son.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA (in pain):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah\u2026 really?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(surprised tone)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like a son?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So should we expect a Christmas call\u2026 asking for money?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really. This is for your own good. One day you\u2019ll thank me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One day, maybe, but not today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFor your own good\u201d\u2026 Haha! I told you!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While Papaia stays kneeling in pain on the chickpeas, Faggioli pulls out the hoe and stands behind Papaia, unseen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good boy! Chickpeas and discipline!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2026 if you want, I can send you the recipe later\u2026 so at least you eat them.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Relax Papaia\u2026 look on the bright side\u2026 at least they\u2019re not thumbtacks.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Well, he wanted to cut the grass\u2026 now he\u2019s fertilizing with pain.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026I bet next medical checkup\u2026 they\u2019ll find chickpea prints on your kneecaps.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Can\u2019t there be like\u2026 a soft version\u2026 with frozen peas?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Papaia came for a psychological evaluation\u2026 but ended up doing a fakir internship.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli raises the hoe. He lowers it slowly, almost grazing the back of Papaia\u2019s neck, who looks unknowingly toward the wall. Then suddenly, he raises the hoe again, determined to strike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (father\u2019s voice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good boy! Just like in the old days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (Tony\u2019s voice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stop! What are you doing? You promised me you wouldn\u2019t do it again!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(with fake enthusiasm)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli! Now that\u2019s an original way to file a patient!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026straight to the \u201corganic fertilizer\u201d department!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he stops. He rethinks it. And puts the hoe away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suddenly, he comes back to himself. He looks around amazed, as if he\u2019d forgotten everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(ironically)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, no! It\u2019s all a misunderstanding\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Faggioli was just trying to\u2026 uh\u2026 prune his thoughts.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026actually\u2026 the blow to the head was just a new procedure\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026remove the brain\u2026 remove the problems!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026but then he changed his mind. Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously! Papaia, you never had a brain anyway!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026At that point\u2026 he just wanted to know what\u2019s in your head\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pause, with a smirk)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Spoiler: nothing interesting.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (confused)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026But what are you doing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Papaia looks up, incredulous. He stays kneeling, silent.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (studying him)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kneeling\u2026 on legumes?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He pulls out a notebook and takes notes.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Looks at him with fake affection.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t worry, Mr. Papaia. We\u2019re here to fire you\u2026 uh\u2026 I meant\u2026 help you.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He meant\u2026 hoe you better, Papaia!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do they explain it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They claim the ancient age is valid if the bacteria had longer generation times, different mutation rates, and\/or selective pressures similar to modern bacteria. Naturally, these \u201crescue devices\u201d are just conjectures to make the data fit their worldview.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you saying that to avoid questioning the 250 million-year dating, they hypothesize special and hard-to-verify scenarios?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. For example, they hypothesize that bacteria reproduced much more slowly compared to modern bacteria, so they would have accumulated fewer mutations over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So their DNA would have changed much more slowly than that of today\u2019s bacteria?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, or the environmental conditions would have “pushed” both types of bacteria to remain genetically very similar despite the time passed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have they found any evidence to verify this hypothesis?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. These are just assumptions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli rubs his hands together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI: Well, well, well!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI: Mr. Papaya. You\u2019ve told me many things today. I could already have you fired with this material\u2026\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Uh\u2026 I mean\u2026 I could already speak in your favor to the higher-ups. But I need the cherry on top to be sure you lose your job\u2026\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026uh\u2026 I mean\u2026 to make sure everything works out for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA: Cherry on top?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI: Well actually, it\u2019s the main reason you\u2019re here with me today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli pauses for what feels like an eternity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(sarcastically, to Faggioli)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2026 please\u2026 enough with this cherry on top thing\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why don\u2019t you invent an analogy more\u2026 yours?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like\u2026 I don\u2019t know\u2026 \u201cThe final hoe strike\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or \u201cThe career-shovel blow\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pause)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026because the concept\u2019s the same! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA: Tell me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI: Let\u2019s talk about your interest in creationism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA: No, no! I have no interest in creationism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI: Really? And what about that note in your report? What does it mean when you say the Big Bang model should be reconsidered?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA: I don\u2019t know. If the numbers don\u2019t add up, maybe the Big Bang isn\u2019t the right explanation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: And what do you say about this email, which arrived to one of your colleagues?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia turns pale. Faggioli swivels the monitor to show him an email.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia reads:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Subject: Urgent reflections on the Hubble constant<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dear colleagues,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have reviewed the latest data on the Hubble tension and I must admit there is something that doesn\u2019t add up. The models don\u2019t match, the predictions diverge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After long analyses, I believe I have something important in my hands. Perhaps inconvenient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The evidence I am gathering clearly indicates that the universe was created by an intelligent force, just as described in the Book of Genesis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, I\u2019m talking about the God of the Bible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Soon I will be ready to share the details.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Respectfully,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prof. Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (wide-eyed): But… how did he get that email? It was private!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (smiling, pleased): Ah, Papaia\u2026 the juiciest truths never come alone. NASAL hired an outside consultant to investigate certain\u2026 anomalies in your scientific reports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: A consultant?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: A detective, to be exact. He worked undercover. Gained your trust. Asked you about your experiments… your theories…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (confused): Wait\u2026 you\u2019re not talking about\u2026 Talponi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (nodding slowly): That\u2019s the one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (horrified): But Talponi is\u2026 I thought he was my friend\u2026 during coffee breaks!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(with ironic tone, spreading his arms)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The guy\u2019s name was \u201cTalponi\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I mean\u2026 just from the name, you should have asked yourself some questions, right? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: Talponi did a great job. He transmitted every message, every weird speech, every eccentric theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And this email was the cherry on top. The one that nails you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (shaken): I can\u2019t believe it\u2026 it was all a trick?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(with fake sorrow)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes\u2026 all a trick, Papaia\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even that time he told you he didn\u2019t have change for coffee\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026oh yes! Because his pockets were full of microphones!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (approaching the desk slowly, steepling his fingers): You see, Mr. Papaia\u2026 at NASAL we\u2019re not interested in scientists who think outside the box. We want people who follow orders. Who stick to procedures. Who don\u2019t question the scaffolding on which our respectability stands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor: Scaffolding? Which one? The one made of funding?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (with a sad tone): I understand\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (firmly): That means no more Bible God at work. No more alternative theories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (lowering his gaze): Alright. I promise I won\u2019t do it again. I\u2019ll follow the rules. I\u2019ll\u2026 stay within the lines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: Very well. Then you may go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (standing up, uncertain): But\u2026 what about the evaluation? The final test result?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (without looking up, flipping through some papers): We will let you know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tony: Yeah, maybe in a dream. If you dream really bad! Ha, ha!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia leaves the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did Faggioli write in his notes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019ll never know. But we do have public reviews on Tripadvisor:\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThreats with a hoe included, rustic atmosphere.\u201d \u2605\u2605\u2606\u2606\u2606<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe bully sock judged me the whole time.\u201d \u2605\u2606\u2606\u2606\u2606<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKneeling on chickpeas? Never again, but at least I learned the value of discipline.\u201d \u2605\u2605\u2606\u2606\u2606<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSometimes there\u2019s a slip-up\u2026 like when they tell you your sanity is gone but it\u2019s not true.\u201d \u2605\u2605\u2605\u2606\u2606<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWatch out for video editing: you could look crazy without even trying. They send the DVD to you and your neighbors.\u201d \u2605\u2606\u2606\u2606\u2606<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026but we also have satisfied patients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIncredible experience! We went to hoe the NASAL garden\u2026 then, without warning, he made me kneel on chickpeas! Fantastic! The best part? When he turned into the father\u2026 emotional, unsettling\u2026 authentic! Recommended for those who want strong emotions\u2026 and who don\u2019t care much about their kneecaps! I\u2019ll definitely come back! Maybe next time I\u2019ll bring my friends\u2026 I mean, I would if I had any!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2b50\u2b50\u2b50\u2b50\u2b50<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cExperience\u2026 horrible\u2026 no\u2026 fantastic! When I arrived I thought: \u2018Why did I do this?\u2019\u2026 then I realized it was exactly what I didn\u2019t need\u2026 I mean\u2026 I did need it, yes! Faggioli is a monster\u2026 of skill\u2026 or maybe just a monster\u2026 with a hoe\u2026 I mean, with a degree. If you don\u2019t improve, he threatens you with the hoe\u2026 no\u2026 he encourages you with therapy. Sometimes he makes you kneel on chickpeas\u2026 I mean\u2026 compared to your problems. He just wasted my time\u2026 I mean\u2026 helped me lose my complexes. He has a talking sock. Ridiculous\u2026 I mean\u2026 brilliant. He has more problems than me\u2026 no wait\u2026 more knowledge. I came out worse than when I went in\u2026 I mean\u2026 better\u2026 I mean\u2026 who knows\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway: if you want to ruin yourself\u2026 I mean\u2026 heal\u2026 come here. Highly recommended\u2026 or maybe not\u2026 your call!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2605\u2606\u2606\u2606\u2606<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026I mean<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2b50\u2b50\u2b50\u2b50\u2b50<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Part 1\/28 Three scientists\u2014Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli\u2014and their assistant Igor, who all work at NASAL, start showing an interest in creationism. Worried, their superiors send them to see a psychologist: Professor Faggioli, a questionable figure determined to get them fired by making them seem insane. We\u2019re in Faggioli\u2019s office, where Papaia is undergoing a psychological … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-episode"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5494","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5494"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5494\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5495,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5494\/revisions\/5495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}