Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, start getting interested in creationism. Their superiors, concerned, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are in Faggioli’s office, where Papaia is undergoing a psychological evaluation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And is it still like that today? I mean\u2026 do you still have to take care of your siblings?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, when they have a problem, they call me, and if I refuse to help\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tony<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 My little Papaiuccio! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly, Tony!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you talking to the sock? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me? \u2026 I thought that\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interesting!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Takes notes)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, no\u2026 wait! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please, go on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, alright. I was saying that if I refuse\u2026 well\u2026 mom convinces me to change my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve noticed your sister is a bit\u2026 of a spender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (sighs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s just say\u2026 she has a demanding lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s talk about a specific incident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you want a random one\u2026 or ranked by price?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 2 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK. Papaia\u2019s house. Living room. Afternoon. A few years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia opens the door and stops on the threshold, puzzled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His sister is lying on the couch, wearing a white bathrobe, enormous sunglasses, and holding a pink cocktail with a tiny umbrella. On the coffee table: scattered papers, a golden fountain pen, and a financial advisor in a suit and tie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just took out a small low-interest loan\u2026 for a twelve-session eyebrow treatment with phoenix wings effect. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wings of what?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He looks at the estimate. The amount makes him jump.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2,800 euros?! Are you insane?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (smiling):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you want, I can get you a free waxing. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, thanks! I\u2019d rather keep my hair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End flashback<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With Chantilly in the house, the only real phoenix was Papaia: he died every time the bank statement arrived\u2026 and was reborn with the next charge. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 but wait, it\u2019s not that bad. Papaia even got a free waxing offer. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Brilliant idea. At least, along with his chest hair, every last shred of dignity would\u2019ve disappeared too. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 3 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interior. Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So your sister lived with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. That was before I got married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You told me your sister is studying something called \u201cShopping Techniques.\u201d Is that right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. It\u2019s an online program. But the exams are in person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interesting. And\u2026 what exactly does it consist of?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honestly, I\u2019ve never fully understood\u2026 I just pay the tuition. But once, I took her to an exam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK. University classroom turned into a shopping mall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A huge stopwatch hangs above the registers. At the examiner\u2019s whistle, a group of female students dash toward the shelves like Olympic athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s sister is wearing a tactical backpack, padded knee pads, and quick-grip gloves. She dives into the discount clothes with acrobatic moves, grabbing coats and jeans before the others. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another student tries to grab a beige trench coat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Student:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I saw it first!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (growling):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s mine! I wrote my thesis on this trench! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the chaos, Papaia staggers under the weight of six bags full of clothes. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of flashback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems your sister has a sort of obsession with shopping\u2026 and beauty treatments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, and believe me, they\u2019re not cheap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, university\u2026 the temple of knowledge. But instead of taking notes, Chantilly and her classmates were taking half-price designer coats. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Chantilly was just putting into practice what the professor said on the first day: \u201cThe difference between a war and a sale? Sales are fought with more ferocity.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026What kind of university is this\u2026 they let students bring their own assistants? Or was it a team exam: one shops, the other collapses? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 4 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We also talked about comets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. A comet spends most of its time far from the Sun, in the deep cold of space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But once per orbit, it gets very close to the Sun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That’s right. And in doing so, the Sun\u2019s heat causes much of the ice to evaporate and lifts up dust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that\u2019s how the tail forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A beautiful phenomenon to witness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But comets have little mass, so each close pass to the Sun greatly reduces their size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, over time, comets vanish!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly. And that\u2019s why they can\u2019t survive for billions of years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, the fact that comets still exist tells us that the universe can\u2019t be billions of years old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly, Ravioli. Otherwise, we wouldn\u2019t have any comets left!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 5 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 Living room turned into a wellness center<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly is lying on a spa bed, wearing sunglasses and a towel wrapped around her head. The beautician and hairdresser move between bottles and hairdryers. Papaia enters and slips on a fallen face mask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Beautician:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Okay, now we apply the seaweed.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Only the oceanic kind, okay? The others give me allergies.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hairdresser:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Shall I start with the color?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Phoenix Blonde, as always. And be gentle\u2014I’m delicate today.” \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Beautician (to another):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Fabia, go get the tweezers\u2014the pink glittery ones.” \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (to Papaia):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“If you’re going to hang around, at least make me a chamomile tea. But organic.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This used to be my house… \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We don\u2019t want to call Mom, do we?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, no! Of course not!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia, now resigned, heads to the kitchen to make the tea. He walks past the spa bed but\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026trips on a cucumber slice that slid off Chantilly\u2019s face. He crashes into the table, sending bottles of cream and face masks flying everywhere. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Careful! That was the hyaluronic acid cream\u2014it costs more than your salary! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Beautician:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oops\u2026 that one was new. We hadn\u2019t even opened it yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia stands up, covered in cream and seaweed. The doorbell rings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hairdresser (checking the tablet):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The payment terminal has arrived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (excited):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, perfect! So, how much is today?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Beautician (checks):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s see\u2026 \u2018Phoenix Wings\u2019 package, \u2018Gold Phoenix\u2019 color, organic seaweed, glitter tweezers, damage fee\u2026 total: \u20ac1,140.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (to Papaia):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your turn now\u2026 Papaiuccio! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tony:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah ah ah! Deluxe treatment, deluxe bill\u2026 for the village idiot! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apparently, Chantilly had a phoenix obsession\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Too bad the only thing rising from the ashes was Papaia\u2019s credit card bill. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Excuse me, but what made Chantilly think the phoenix was blonde? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Maybe it caught fire after one too many bleach jobs? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Ah, the tale of Papaia: from homeowner\u2026 to human teabag. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026If I were you, I\u2019d at least ask for a chamomile sachet as rent. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Chantilly threatens to call Mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia trips on a cucumber.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A new case\u2026 for Inspector Banani. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani (frightened):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who, me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor (serious):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who\u2019s the real victim here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly, the guest who reeked of mint mask? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The mom, with her fake heart attacks on the phone? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia, unable to say no? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani (in crisis):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2026 I don\u2019t know\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor (conclusive, solemn):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ll tell you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The real victim\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026was the cucumber. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 6 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And why didn\u2019t your sister stay living with your mother?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mom lives in another city. While my place is closer to where Chantilly takes her exams\u2026 or at least that\u2019s the excuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 NASAL interior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia is working very focused near the telescope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Professor, it\u2019s ready for the measurement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes! All set. Just in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perfect! Two minutes to the solar storm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The solar storm of the century. Phenomena like this don\u2019t happen every day!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s why it\u2019s important to take the measurement at exactly the right moment!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Right then, the phone rings. On the display: \u201cMOM\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (worried, answers):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMom? I\u2019m in the middle of a very important experiment, can I call you back\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (sharp):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour sister lost her university housing. She\u2019s coming to live with you.\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have to go open the door for her. And help her with the suitcases. You know there are many.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bring\u2026 suitcases\u2026 yes, yes! I\u2019ll open right away! Ah, no! Wait! There\u2019s a problem\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaiuccio! What are you talking about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not home. I\u2019m at NASAL.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, professor\u2026 didn\u2019t you turn off your phone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then you have to run there immediately!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t! I\u2019m in the middle of an experiment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here we go! Countdown starts! 5\u2026 4\u2026 3\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom! I have to hang up, talk later\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wait! No! I feel the pressure rising\u2026\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom\u2026 understand me. I have to start the procedure on time\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Too late. The experiment failed. The next chance to measure this phenomenon is in 125 years.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 7 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggilli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (taking notes):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is your sister married?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does she plan to get married?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. The problem is\u2026 she’s a bit too picky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do you mean by \u201cpicky\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 Romantic evening in an elegant restaurant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s sister is seated at a candlelit table. Across from her is a kind, well-dressed guy with a reassuring smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boyfriend (pulls out a ring):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI love you. I have a steady job, my own apartment\u2026 will you marry me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She looks at the ring, then slowly raises her eyes and asks, ice-cold:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sister:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat kind of car do you drive?\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boyfriend (proudly):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA midnight-blue Dacia Duster. Euro 6, low fuel consu\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sister (cuts him off):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh. No.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She stands up, grabs her purse, and leaves without another word. The guy is left sitting there with the ring in his hand and his mouth hanging open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of flashback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (resigned):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTo her, love is only real if it comes with alloy wheels.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Excuse me\u2026 but Chantilly was right. The guy proposed and she didn\u2019t even know what car he drove? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 how long had they known each other? Two hours? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 8 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One time, Papaia told us that comets can end in other ways too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, that\u2019s true. There are two other mechanisms that can destroy comets: ejection from the solar system and collisions with planets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh yeah? You mean comets can leave the solar system?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly. Ejections happen when comets pass too close to the giant planets\u2014especially Jupiter\u2014and the gravity of those planets slingshots them out of the solar system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So basically, they get \u201cfired out\u201d by Jupiter\u2019s enormous gravity!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You said it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And does that happen often?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fairly often. In fact, ejections have been observed many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And collisions with planets happen when comets get even closer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Too close, I\u2019d say\u2014so close that they get pulled in by the planet\u2019s gravitational field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that happens a lot?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a rarer phenomenon. In fact, the first observed collision was in 1994, when comet Shoemaker-Levy IX crashed into Jupiter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 9 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, let\u2019s say she\u2019s a bit materialistic?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I assure you, the only topic I\u2019ve ever seen her show interest in is luxury.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tony:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And what does she need a husband for? Papaia\u2019s already paying all her bills! Ahaha! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wait, Tony. Now that I think of it\u2026 she did fall in love once!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technically, Chantilly isn\u2019t looking for a soulmate\u2026 she\u2019s looking for a compatible bank account. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 Inside a bank<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly is sitting in front of a bank clerk with a crooked tie and thick glasses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clerk:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m sorry, miss. We can\u2019t approve another loan. Besides, it shows here that your name is on the blacklist of bad payers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it\u2019s not my fault! It\u2019s my brother who didn\u2019t pay on time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clerk:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Excuse me? The account is under your name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, excuse me. But that\u2019s splitting hairs! Everyone knows Papaia pays my bills. I don\u2019t see why we\u2019re getting lost in these insignificant details. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clerk:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u2019am. That doesn\u2019t sound insignificant to me. You\u2019re an adult and responsible for your own bills. Your brother has nothing to do with your problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s too much! I\u2019m calling Mom right now! She\u2019s got a solid argument to present to you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (to herself):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, a very solid argument\u2026 the baseball bat. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suddenly, a robber wearing a ski mask bursts in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robber (shouting):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everybody down! This is a robbery!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly dives to the ground, but slowly lifts her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The robber points a gun at the cashier and tosses him a plastic bag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robber (to the cashier):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You! Put the money in here!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waves the gun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robber:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And make it full!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly watches the robber, his bag stuffed with banknotes, his confident stance. Her eyes glisten, the scene slows down slightly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sister (whispering):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He\u2019s\u2026 the man I\u2019ve been looking for\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (voice-over):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now he knew how to get a loan! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The robber notices her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The cashier hands over the full bag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The robber quickly checks it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robber:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He points again at the cashier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robber:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hands on the counter! And no funny business!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then threatens the customers on the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robber:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the rest of you, stay down! No funny moves!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He fires a shot in the air. Everyone flinches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robber (to Chantilly):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You! You\u2019re coming with me! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He grabs her as a hostage to flee. She smiles dreamily as they exit the bank.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of flashback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And she fell in love with the robber?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 10 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly considered the name on the loan a ridiculous and insignificant detail\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026like the ATM PIN, the card\u2019s expiration date, or the very concept of consequences. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026In Papaia\u2019s family, \u201ctalking calmly\u201d means deciding whether to grip the bat with one or two hands. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Chantilly had a crush on the robber. Love at first robbery. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Some dream of a man with flowers\u2026 others of one with a full sack and a criminal record. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Finally, a man who made her feel safe\u2026 by threatening everyone with a Glock. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026That\u2019s not love\u2026 it\u2019s deluxe Stockholm Syndrome. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026She fell in love at first shot. So romantic. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026When he said, \u201cHands up!\u201d, she thought it was a proposal. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Finally a man who wouldn\u2019t ask her to pay\u2026 He just stole everything directly! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026There was tension, danger, money\u2026 all that was missing were the wedding favors. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026One day you\u2019re in a bank, the next you\u2019re picking wedding rings with someone wanted in three provinces. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Finally, a man who knows how to assert himself\u2026 with a firearm. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Her ideal type? Tall, charming\u2026 and a rap sheet a mile long. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Some want a man with a bank account\u2026 she wants one who empties the bank directly. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026When the robber said \u201ccome with me,\u201d he had no idea what was waiting for him\u2026 He went in for a robbery, came out in a toxic relationship with a manicure set included. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026That \u201cyou come with me\u201d cost him three credit cards and a mortgage on his freedom. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026He went from outlaw to caregiver in under a minute. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The truth? The real hostage\u2026 was him. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026He thought he was running from justice. Instead, he found Chantilly. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The robber wanted cash. He got a loyalty card from the beauty salon. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 11 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 NASAL, coffee break room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia is at the coffee machine, stirring his plastic cup when his phone rings. On the display: \u201cMom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (answers):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHello, Mom?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (agitated):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPapaia! Your sister hasn\u2019t come home for days! She\u2019s not answering messages! I haven\u2019t heard from her since Tuesday!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (sighs):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUh\u2026 actually, she called me really quickly yesterday. Said she was fine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFine where?! And with whom?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe didn\u2019t say. She only said she was happy\u2026 sounded like she was in a car.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia looks out the window, thoughtful. The distant roar of a car speeding off is heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
NASAL Technician (passing by):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDid you hear that screech too?\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes\u2026 unfortunately!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 A week later, on a country road<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The sister and the robber are in a stolen car speeding down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (holding onto him):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFinally someone who knows how to take what they want!\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sirens. The police stop them. The robber is arrested. She is taken to the station.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of flashback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIsn\u2019t that strange?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019d say no\u2026 classic!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTake what she wants, huh? Like\u2026 three years probation?\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 12 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S OFFICE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut now she doesn\u2019t live with you anymore, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo\u2026 Not anymore. I got married. But at first, she still lived with us\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK. PAPAIA\u2019S APARTMENT. EVENING<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia and his wife are sitting on the bed. The door is closed. In the distance, the sister can be heard laughing while watching a shopping channel in the living room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe have to tell her. We can\u2019t go on like this, it\u2019s our home, not an outlet warehouse.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI know\u2026 it\u2019s just that\u2026 she doesn\u2019t have anywhere else. And she\u2019s my sister\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe\u2019s eating our dinner while wearing my robe and speaking to Alexa in French. If you don\u2019t say anything, I will.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cut to living room. The sister is lying on a chaise lounge, wearing a bathrobe and a face mask. She\u2019s eating macarons from a golden box and stroking a cashmere pashmina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUm\u2026 we need to talk to you about something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMmm? If it\u2019s about the remote, I already booked movie night. Tonight they\u2019re showing Pretty Woman Deluxe Restored Shopping Edition.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo. It\u2019s about\u2026 living together. We\u2026 were wondering if maybe you had thought about finding your own place.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (dramatic pause, then sets down macaron):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy own place? Of course. I\u2019ve thought of everything. A tent on the terrace. An abandoned doghouse. Maybe I\u2019ll pretend to be an ornamental vase in the mall and stay there.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (confused):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo\u2026 you don\u2019t have a plan?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (with faint, tragic voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPapaia\u2026 I have nothing else. Everything I own is here. My memories\u2026 my collection of thermal pink salt patches\u2026 my cruelty-free silk pillowcases.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife (shaken but determined):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t have anything else either. Like: living space.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (looking at her, unsure):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe we can find a compromise\u2026 maybe\u2026 a whole room for you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife (cutting):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat a coincidence. That\u2019s the one I sleep in.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPretty Woman Deluxe Restored Shopping Edition?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is that the new edition where Julia Roberts learns to pay\u2026 with Papaia\u2019s credit card?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Chantilly\u2019s new \u2018place\u2019? Pretending to be an ornamental vase? Or maybe she becomes a store mannequin\u2026 at least she\u2019ll stop wearing Papaia\u2019s wife\u2019s robe. \ud83d\ude0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 The wife claimed that with Chantilly and all her stuff, there was no more living space left. Well, technically, there\u2019s still space\u2026 between the cream jars and the aroma diffuser. Just have to sleep curled up. \ud83d\ude0c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 What a great idea, Papaia! Giving your room to Chantilly. That way Chantilly finally gets an en suite bathroom\u2026 and you get to discover the sofa bed in \u2018survival mode\u2019!\ud83e\udd23\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 13 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How long does it take for a comet to \u201cburn out\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A long time, but not forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Considering the rates of loss, it\u2019s easy to calculate a maximum age for comets. This maximum age is only a few million years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do we explain that there are so many of them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously, their abundance makes sense only if the entire solar system was created just a few thousand years ago, but not if it formed billions of years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 14 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK. TWO WEEKS LATER.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s wife (annoyed):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis apartment is a mess! There are bags everywhere, and the oven is occupied by a UV nail lamp!\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (trying to downplay):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just a creative phase\u2026 Chantilly is going through an inner renewal period.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s wife (pointing at the table, exasperated):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEsthetic treatment quotes, a glitter wig, and a flaxseed yogurt forgotten for three days! Is it renewal or decomposition?\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (confused):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe the yogurt is part of\u2026 the facial treatment?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He opens the shower door and freezes at the scene: a tower of shampoo, conditioners, three teacups, a pink blanket, and the facial steamer turned on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (shouting):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t live in here anymore!\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s wife (from outside, now desperate):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf your sister doesn\u2019t move out by tomorrow, I\u2019m moving out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait\u2026 let\u2019s find a solution!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Too late. His wife is already at the door, suitcase in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife (coldly):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s either her or me. Choose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly is sitting on the bed, surrounded by clothes, with a towel turban on her head and cucumber slices on her eyes.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (without moving):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t exaggerate! If needed, I can free up the oven\u2026\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, yes! The UV nail lamp in the oven. Classic \u201cpost-apocalyptic nail spa with dinner service included\u201d style home.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026yogurt decomposing? I\u2019d say more like\u2026 a sensory journey\u2026 between beauty treatment and mold.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026when Papaia moved the shower curtain, that steamer made him change his mind\u2026 realizing the only steam there was from his nervous breakdown.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Chantilly knew it: it\u2019s known that when a relationship is in crisis, the only way out is\u2026 giving back the oven.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 15 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S OFFICE \u2013 DAY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut then did you tell her? How did she react?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot\u2026 very well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK. PAPAIA\u2019S APARTMENT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The doorbell rings. Papaia opens the door. A courier with a pallet jack is dragging a huge mirror with a golden frame shaped like angel wings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Courier:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDelivery for\u2026 the miss. \u2018Full body motivational transformational mirror.\u2019\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (swallows):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnother one?\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His wife peeks from the hallway, slams a door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife (exasperated):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEnough. Either you talk to your sister, or I do. But this time with a megaphone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A little later. Chantilly is in the living room, busy photographing the new mirror for social media. Hashtag: #NewMe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (uncomfortable):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUhm\u2026 can we talk for a moment?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (without turning):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf it\u2019s about the bathroom: I\u2019ll be there in ten minutes. I\u2019m channeling my inner energy.\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s about\u2026 all this. The living situation. It\u2019s getting difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She slowly turns around, removing a moisturizing glove from one hand with dramatic slowness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDifficult for who?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (trying to stay calm):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFor everyone. I\u2026 I think it\u2019s time for you to\u2026 find your own place. Maybe temporary, with mom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silence. His sister stares at him like he just told her to jump off a bridge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (hurt):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou want to\u2026 kick me out? You? The brother who brought me tea when my shoes hurt me?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not exactly it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (standing up, theatrical):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo. It\u2019s worse. It\u2019s a betrayal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another giant swan-shaped mirror?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point, the motivational mirror should have started motivating the courier.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Chantilly was channeling inner energy. Papaia, don\u2019t rush! Either you let her channel it\u2026 or mom\u2019ll channel you\u2014with a baseball bat.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Inner energy\u2026 versus kinetic energy.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 16 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Flashback. Living room. A few hours later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, little sister\u2026 big news! I found you a studio apartment. Cute, cheerful, it even has that mirror with the built-in light.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA studio apartment? And that\u2019s supposed to be big news?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, yes! It\u2019s the first step towards your\u2026 emancipation. And it\u2019s just a few minutes from the university campus. More convenient for your exams!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re trying to kick me out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo! No, no\u2026 it\u2019s a proposal. A kind one. Supported by your sister-in-law. With a threatening tone.\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFine. Let\u2019s hear what Mom thinks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I already called her. She agrees with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2019re bluffing. Nice try. But I\u2019m not falling for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She dials the number, throwing accusing looks at Papaia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (furious on the phone):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMom, Papaia wants to kick me out! He says I should live in a studio apartment with a parking lot view! Please tell me I\u2019m crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (sharp):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCrazy? Crazy is still going out with that unemployed stuntman!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (shocked, incredulous):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026Excuse me? What did you just say?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (pressing):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTeo, yes. The one who lives day to day and trains by jumping off sofas. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 What future do you think you have with someone like that? At least in that studio you\u2019ll be farther from him\u2026 and closer to university.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (slowly, in a low voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026But\u2026 how do you know about Teo?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Cold pause. Then the firm reply.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour brother told me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly slowly lowers the phone. She stares at Papaia with a betrayed look, as if she didn\u2019t recognize him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (low voice, full of venom):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou. You talked about Teo. To Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry\u2026 but it was the only way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (like a humiliated queen):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI never expected a stab in the back from my own blood. We slept under the same roof, Papaia.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m sorry, but Clara would have left me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (dramatic):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFine. I\u2019m leaving. But I\u2019ll write a poem about this betrayal. And I\u2019ll read it to my audience on Instagram.\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust make sure you read it from your new studio apartment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few hours later, Chantilly, with three suitcases, a makeup bag, a shoe holder, and two neon synthetic coats, is getting into a taxi. Papaia holds the door open for her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (cold):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll pick up the other stuff later.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (getting into the taxi):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The taxi drives off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of flashback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The wife\u2019s proposal was a polite one\u2026 like those letters from the tax agency: courteous, but just reading them makes your hands sweat.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Papaia snitched on Teo. The only man who truly leveled up\u2026 by throwing himself onto the living room rug.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Chantilly\u2019s revenge was not to be underestimated. She wanted to write a poem against Papaia and read it publicly\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026in fact, she was ready to turn Papaia into the most viral meme on the internet! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Papaia would regret kicking Chantilly out\u2026 now who would understand Alexa answering in French? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 17 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And what do evolutionary astronomers say in response?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They responded to this issue by claiming that comets must come from two sources.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh yeah? And which ones?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They propose that a Kuiper Belt, beyond Neptune\u2019s orbit, hosts the short-period comets (those with orbits under 200 years), and that a much larger and more distant Oort Cloud hosts the long-period comets (with orbits over 200 years).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is that possible?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. Let me explain\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 18 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how did it end?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly got married and now lives in a house she owns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really? But earlier you said she wasn\u2019t married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. Actually, today she\u2019s divorced. She married a rich guy, and the house was given to her by the judge in the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A real jackpot! Also for you, Papaia, saving on rent.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Indeed, things worked out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tell me how it went. We still have about half an hour to fill\u2026\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By this point, Faggioli had long stopped taking notes… and was already looking for popcorn! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK BLACK FRIDAY. MORNING.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Outside a perfume shop. Cold lights, a wild crowd pressed behind the transparent doors. In the front row, Papaia\u2019s sister wears sporty sunglasses, compression tracksuit, and shopping grip gloves. Eyes fixed on the automatic door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the other side of the glass door, a security guard checks that everything is under control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mall announcer (metallic voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAttention. The doors will open\u2026 NOW.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Chantilly, too hyped, violently throws open the door before everyone else. The glass pane hits the security guard full in the face, knocking him backward to the ground, KO.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As the crowd rushes like a pack of wild animals, Chantilly runs over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (worried, kneeling beside him):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh no! You have a beautiful jaw\u2026 are you there? Can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He slowly opens one eye. She looks closely at him. He, with a hoarse voice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Security:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat a hit\u2026 right on target. You\u2026 fight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (sighing):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOnly for what\u2019s worth it.\u201d\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Their eyes meet. Love at first sight. Romantic music distorted by a crazy Bluetooth speaker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From that day, the surveillance camera staff nicknamed her the Bulldozer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not only dangerous\u2026 but unstoppable. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What things is Chantilly willing to fight for? Here\u2019s the list:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2013 over 100 euros \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2013 at least 50% off \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2013 preferably limited edition \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2013 and, of course, with an Instagrammable package \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 19 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S OFFICE \u2013 BACK TO PRESENT<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that\u2019s how it all started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, but didn\u2019t you say the guy had loads of money? Then why was he working as a bouncer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Actually, the bouncer job was just to fund his boxing career.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A boxer? Still not seeing any of that money. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not just any boxer\u2014he became world champion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A boxer? Well, at least he was better than the last guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead of flopping onto Papaia\u2019s couch like Teo, the unemployed stuntman\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026the boxer punched it to train. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 WORLD BOXING CHAMPIONSHIP<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A packed arena, blinding lights, crowd going wild.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly\u2019s husband has just won the heavyweight world title.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bruised all over, but triumphant, he stands in the center of the ring, arms raised high.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The announcer yells into the mic:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Announcer:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ladies and gentlemen! The new heavyweight champion of the world\u2026 Rocco \u2018Shopping Fist\u2019 Bianchiiii!!!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The crowd goes wild.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rocco, bleeding but energized, grabs the mic and starts shouting with raw emotion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rocco (sobbing and yelling):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“CHAAANTILLYYYYY!!!” \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He keeps screaming her name, stumbling through confetti and camera flashes, searching for her in the stands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rocco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“CHAAANTILLYYYYY!!!” \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly is seated in the crowd: blush satin dress, pink faux fur coat, waterproof makeup untouched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rocco pushes through fans, tossing aside two PR staffers. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She runs to the ring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They embrace. Kisses, tears, camera flashes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The commentator, moved to tears:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Commentator:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“This wasn\u2019t just a match won\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026it was the triumph of love. And shopping.” \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S OFFICE \u2013 BACK TO PRESENT<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now I get it. Your sister hit the jackpot! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly, Faggioli. Their relationship was built on this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rocco was the champ in the ring\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026but at home, he was just a walking wallet. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026He paid, carried the bags, and every now and then got to hold the receipt. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026While Rocco fought for glory, Chantilly fought for 70% off. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Each month, Rocco defended a title belt. Each month, Chantilly replaced it with a vegan leather one. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Rocco was the boxer. But the one who KO\u2019d the bank account\u2026 was her. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 20 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What were we saying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were talking about two hypothetical sources of comets that evolutionist astronomers use to solve the problem of comets running out too quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, yes. You were explaining why this idea doesn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not that it doesn\u2019t work. The problem is that there\u2019s no proof of the existence of the supposed Oort cloud, and there probably never will be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And why are you so sure about that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See, Ravioli, in the last twenty years, astronomers have discovered thousands of asteroids orbiting beyond Neptune, and it\u2019s assumed they make up the Kuiper belt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, so? Doesn\u2019t that support their hypothesis?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The problem is the large size of these asteroids (Pluto is one of the biggest) and the difference in composition between these asteroids and comets casts doubt on this conclusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry, I don\u2019t get it. Why can\u2019t comets come from there?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me explain. Suppose comets did come from there. What would you expect to find when observing with a telescope?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The comets themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously! But instead, we find objects much larger than the comets we usually observe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe they could form because of a collision?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, that\u2019s possible, but highly unlikely, and even if it happened, the material those asteroids are made of isn\u2019t the same as what we observe in comets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, I see. If the comets really came from there, we should find them with the same size and chemical composition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly! But that doesn\u2019t happen!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 21 of 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, how did it go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The marriage lasted three months. Then they divorced, but she got the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, at least one problem was solved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, but the boxer\u2019s pension only covers her shoes… the rest is on me.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poor Rocco. He lost the title, the house, and the credit card.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
NASAL.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia is watching a comet passing by. The technician is busy adjusting settings at the nearby station.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019ll arrive in a minute, be ready, professor. It\u2019s a rare chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, yes, I\u2019ve got everything under control! I wouldn\u2019t miss it for the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suddenly Papaia\u2019s phone rings, breaking the observation mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (answers the phone):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hello?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly (anxious voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hi, Papaia… I got divorced.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (surprised):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Divorced? But… what happened?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was at the boutique\u2026 the card wouldn\u2019t go through\u2026 I called him\u2026 and you know what he said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did he say?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He told me \u201ctake a dress off the bill\u201d… can you believe it? He asked me to cancel a purchase!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(breaks into tears)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I left him immediately! Such humiliation! In front of everyone! Me\u2026 leaving a dress in the store?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do you mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Not listening)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026but, thank God the judge gave me the house. That\u2019s it, nothing else to say.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wait, are you telling me you left him over a dress?\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantilly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not just a dress, Papaia. You don\u2019t get it. As usual. Forget it. It\u2019s complicated! Anyway, the house is mine, and that\u2019s what counts!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, good\u2026 but…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sister:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hi, talk later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She hangs up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia closes the phone, looking at the sky, clearly confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have you taken the measurements, professor?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uhm\u2026 yes. I\u2019m sending them now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clicks the mouse. The technician receives something on his computer. He opens it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the screen, a high-res photo zoomed in on Ravioli\u2019s face, who from the window of the other pavilion, mouth open, is about to eat one of his little pizzas.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oops! Here\u2019s what happened. I switched the angles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technician:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perfect. Maybe we should send this to the \u201cclose encounters of the third kind\u201d department.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of flashback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 22 of 22<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia, this story about the comet and your sister\u2026 it\u2019s turning into a soap opera!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 Faggioli, it happened a long time ago. I don\u2019t\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, listen! This exactly confirms what I was telling you before: a distraction mechanism. You can\u2019t focus! You\u2019re risking your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2026 didn\u2019t mean to. It\u2019s just that\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the good news is we have one more reason to fire you.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uh\u2026 I meant\u2026 \u201cunderstand you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 understand your problems and fire you better\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 I mean help you better.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thanks, thanks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tony<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The camera is recording everything! Remember that, Faggioli!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, of course. That\u2019s the important thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tony<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then we\u2019ll do some nice editing on the video! Copy from here\u2026 paste over there!\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes! And that\u2019s done!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what are you guys talking about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Excuse me, professor, but who are you talking to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To her and the\u2026 sock.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What sock? There\u2019s no sock here. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, there is, you were just using it a moment ago!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hmm\u2026 interesting!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Takes notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the end of the video, it\u2019ll look like Faggioli saved a panda, adopted an orphan, and hugged Papaia. All in three minutes. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Tony says with two cuts and a vintage filter, even Faggioli looks human. But a miracle is needed in post-production.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026In the final edit, Papaia seemed to be asking to be fired. And Faggioli looked like he was hesitating out of pity.\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Part 1 of 22 Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, start getting interested in creationism. Their superiors, concerned, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them look insane. We are in Faggioli’s office, where Papaia … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-episode"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5487","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5487"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5487\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5490,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5487\/revisions\/5490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5487"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5487"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5487"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}