Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, start taking an interest in creationism. Their superiors, alarmed, send them to see the psychologist, Professor Faggioli \u2014 a dubious figure determined to get them fired by making them seem insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
NASAL. Faggioli\u2019s Office. Papaia\u2019s session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your family, Papaia, is, shall we say\u2026 peculiar!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, let\u2019s just say the neighbors never got bored with us around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, from what I\u2019ve seen, your brothers Mino and Nino were completely irresponsible, and your sister Chantilly clearly showed, with her attraction to so-called \u201cintense\u201d types, the lack of a stable father figure. So I gather your father wasn\u2019t very present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. My father ran away from home when I was little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How sad. A questionable decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well\u2026 let\u2019s say he had his reasons\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 Interior, Papaia family living room, late evening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad and Mom are sitting on the couch, the TV is on with low volume.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They\u2019re there like every evening: he\u2019s reading the newspaper, she\u2019s knitting and glancing at the crime section.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (sighing):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you see someone broke the window again?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And yesterday someone put butter inside the VCR!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad (without looking up from his newspaper):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bet it was Mino.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (huffs):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Nino sold the curtains to buy fireworks!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Chantilly? Again this week, half a paycheck gone to her mail-order shopping! The only decent one is Papaia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not really! If they get into trouble, it\u2019s his fault for not keeping them in check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Come on! Not this again! Papaia\u2019s only five! How could he possibly control them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here we go again! Haven\u2019t I told you a thousand times that God gave him the gift of responsibility?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah! Always the same excuse! The truth is you\u2019re just dumping your responsibilities on that poor child!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Think what you like! But I\u2019m the one who stays home with them all day. Not you. You leave in the morning and come back at night, and then you give me lectures?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad (calmly, in a tired tone):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, and if I don\u2019t go to work, who\u2019s going to pay the bills, the groceries, and Chantilly\u2019s shopping?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, so now you\u2019re throwing that in my face! As usual! Why don\u2019t we switch roles for a change? I\u2019ll go work and you stay home and do the cleaning? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your usual extreme ideas! That\u2019s not how it works. Actually, these kids\u2026 just need a bit of discipline!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sudden silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom slowly lowers her knitting needles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She turns to her husband with a glacial stare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (dangerously calm):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Excuse me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Discipline. Punishments. For the other three. Not Papaia. He has nothing to do with it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (raises an eyebrow):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Did you just say my children need discipline?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad (starts realizing he messed up):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uh\u2026 well, technically they\u2019re also mine, but\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (jumps to her feet):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SINCE WHEN DO YOU GET TO DECIDE HOW TO RAISE THE KIDS?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Huh? You, who last time tried to scold them and ended up with your head in the toilet?! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad (raises his hands):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t mean to offend anyone! I\u2019m just saying maybe\u2026 I mean\u2026 perhaps\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Too late. Mom has already pulled out the baseball bat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know what I think about this discipline theory, Giambattista?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad (sweating):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honey\u2026 put down the bat\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
NO! Now I\u2019m going to explain pedagogy to you, baseball bat style!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe next time you\u2019ll think twice before speaking!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad (jumps up and runs for the door):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m out! I\u2019M RUNNING FOR MY LIFE! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (chasing him barefoot for three blocks):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
AND DON\u2019T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING BACK!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What a lovely family portrait!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026When Mom suggested the role switch, for a moment poor Giambattista\u2019s blood ran cold! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Well said, Mrs. Papaia \u2014 maybe she should\u2019ve brought the bat to work! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026At least she could\u2019ve negotiated that raise Giambattista was too scared to ask for! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026When Mom said Dad would stay home with the kids, he immediately remembered the time he ended up with his head in the toilet! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026\u201cI\u2019m running for my life\u201d? \u2026 yeah, yeah\u2026 they all say that, Mr. Papaia! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Total nonsense \u2014 the real problem was that the toilet bowl was just too small for his head! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Right, Mino and Nino? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Or should we ask\u2026 right, Mrs. Papaia? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 2 \/10 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part B. Mino’s Essay<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BACK TO THE PRESENT \u2013 FAGGIOLI’S OFFICE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…And we never saw him again after that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (taking notes):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interesting. So your father had a… um… traumatic view of parenting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He tried, but it was just too much for him \u2014 for anyone, really.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So you don\u2019t hold any resentment toward him\u2026 for leaving?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They\u2019re hard feelings to describe, but in a way, I understand him now. Besides, to this day, he still sends us a generous pension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see. (takes more notes) \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Your mother was a woman\u2026 let\u2019s say\u2026 very determined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tony:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
More like a block of wood! Cracking heads with it! Ah, ah! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (embarrassed):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uh\u2026 let\u2019s just say she wasn\u2019t one for compromises\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, TEACHER\u2019S CLASSROOM<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teacher (serious tone):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mrs. Papaia, we need to talk about Mino\u2019s essay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mama (eyes wide open):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another A+, I assume? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teacher:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The essay is titled\u2026 \u201cMy Mommy Solves Problems with a Baseball Bat.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(dramatic pause)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t you think that\u2019s\u2026 a bit troubling?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mama (offended):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Troubling? What are you talking about?! He was writing about sports! Healthy, educational sports! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teacher (flatly):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He wrote: \u201cWhen Dad argues with Mom, she pulls out the baseball bat and he runs away from home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mama (gritting her teeth):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a metaphor. A stylistically perfect one. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teacher (snaps):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u2019am, your children are spreading a very concerning image of your home environment. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019ve already notified the principal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 3 \/10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part C. Igor Responds to Mino’s Teacher<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So when Papaia justifies his dad running away by saying \u201che still sends us a good pension\u201d, Faggioli took notes? Why? Was he planning to follow the example himself? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026here\u2019s what Faggioli wrote down:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Escape plan from home\u2026 relocate to the Bahamas! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Goal: ditch all responsibility while keeping everyone happy! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Step 1: drive wife nuts! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Step 2: flee with a decent excuse! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Step 3: pay a good pension! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Step 4: wife and kids happy\u2026 and I retire in a tropical paradise! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The only compromise Mrs. Papaia ever allowed during an argument was letting her husband choose where he wanted the bat to land! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Arms? Or legs? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Same options she gave the teacher whenever it turned out Mino\u2019s supposed A+ wasn\u2019t the reason she\u2019d been called to school! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And then there\u2019s Mino\u2019s essay: \u201cMommy Solves Problems with a Baseball Bat.\u201d A text so stylistically perfect, it sparked debate over the bat itself. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Was it a metaphor or a literal description? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Sure, a lovely, solid metaphor \u2014 especially when it landed right on your knees! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026See, according to the teacher, the real issue wasn\u2019t the mom actually swinging a bat in front of the kids. No! The real issue was that this might give a bad image of the family climate. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Like\u2026 two kids chatting about their ideal family atmosphere. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026One says: \u201cWell, for me it\u2019s when we all have Christmas dinner, eat, laugh, and exchange presents under the tree.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026But the other goes: \u201cNah, I think it\u2019s when Mom breaks Dad\u2019s collarbone.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 4 \/10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part D. Igor Learned Everything<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What other evidence is there?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019ve got folded rock layers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, and we saw that for them to fold like that, they had to still be malleable\u2014but that wouldn\u2019t be possible if each layer were millions of years younger than the one beneath it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wow. Igor, you know this stuff too?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please, don\u2019t talk about it anymore! I\u2019m begging you! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No worries, Paco knows the topic really well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then we\u2019ve got fossils that contain traces of soft tissue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which would be impossible if they were millions of years old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And we\u2019re talking about fossils of animals like dinosaurs\u2014supposedly extinct for millions of years according to mainstream geology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But a rapid, catastrophic sediment deposit just a few thousand years ago explains this perfectly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In other words, Noah\u2019s Flood, as told in Genesis\u2026 like we\u2019ve already seen!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah! Like we\u2019ve already seen! And we\u2019d rather not go over it again! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 5 \/10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part E. At the Principal’s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli’s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then what happened?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was called in by the principal…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 PRINCIPAL\u2019S OFFICE. PRESENT: TEACHER, PRINCIPAL, MOM, MINO, AND NINO<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Principal (cautiously):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps we could address this matter calmly, ma\u2019am\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (pulls out a paper):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
May I read the essay out loud?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(doesn\u2019t wait for an answer)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“My mom solves problems with a baseball bat. When the neighbor scratches her car, she doesn\u2019t get mad. She waits. Waits for him in the dark. And hits him on the legs with the bat.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teacher (horrified):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you realize what this means?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (opens her purse with a defiant look):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is strictly for preemptive school self-defense. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pulls out a bat and calmly lays it on the table)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Principal (leaps from his chair):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2014I assure you, there\u2019s no need to go that far!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (dead serious):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If we want to talk about education, I\u2019m ready.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You show me your methods, and I\u2019ll show you mine! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nino (whispering to Mino):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I bet you’re getting a ten for this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead of showing her methods to a mom wielding a bat, the principal showed her his best 100-meter sprint! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 6 \/10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part F. Social Workers<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI\u2019S OFFICE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But at that point, didn\u2019t they call child services?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (sighs):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, that\u2019s exactly what happened\u2026 and guess how it turned out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 PAPAIA\u2019S HOUSE, 1990s<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The doorbell rings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (fixing her hair in the mirror, then opening the door with an over-the-top smile):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good morning! Please, come in!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1 (cordially):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good morning, ma\u2019am. We\u2019re here for a family wellness assessment. Nothing to worry about. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (fake surprise):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, of course! My children are little angels! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nino sets off a firecracker inside the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BOOM<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The social workers cover their ears, startled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do they set off firecrackers in the house?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (forced laugh):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just childhood creativity. Better than being on the computer all day, right? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it\u2019s dangerous. Someone could get hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you let them? You don\u2019t supervise?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first social worker takes notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Listen! The boys are just a bit lively. But I don\u2019t want them to feel stifled. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026That\u2019s why I let them be free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A second firecracker goes off in another room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BOOM.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mino walks in holding a flaming trash bin and tosses it into the middle of the room, right by the workers\u2019 feet. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Help! What is that?! It\u2019s on fire! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first worker rips the tablecloth off the coffee table and throws it over the fire, putting it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You let them set the house on fire?! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You don\u2019t just let them be free\u2014you let them do whatever they want!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u2019am, it seems to me the situation is completely out of your control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What are you saying? Don\u2019t exaggerate\u2014they\u2019re just kids. You\u2019re blowing this out of proportion. It\u2019s good they\u2019re having fun, you\u2019re only young once! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Excuse me, ma\u2019am, but even though your children are clearly in the wrong, you still defend them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A third firecracker goes off in the distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BOOM.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Alright, ma\u2019am. Clearly, today is not the right time to talk. We\u2019re leaving. We\u2019ll return tomorrow\u2014hopefully in a calmer setting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If someone walked into my house saying it\u2019s \u201cnothing to worry about,\u201d that\u2019s exactly when I\u2019d start worrying! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 But hey, there was nothing to worry about\u2014the kids were little angels\u2026 just like the devil once was! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Setting off firecrackers in the house is better than being on the computer all day\u2014depending on your point of view\u2026 like, say, the floor\u2019s! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 \u201cI don\u2019t want my kids to feel stifled.\u201d She\u2019s got a point! All these strict rules! Like \u201cDon\u2019t make the house collapse\u201d! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Very stifling indeed. From above and under the rubble! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 At that point, the lit firecracker was right by the guests\u2019 feet. But it was just Nino trying to break the ice! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 By making them tap dance! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Didn\u2019t go so well though! Instead of breaking the ice, he broke their shoes! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 The worker, seeing the flaming trash bin, asks: \u201cWhat is that?\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 It\u2019s modern art. Called \u201cThermo-Destructive Installation Against Domestic Capitalism.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 It\u2019s dinner. But we used the wrong microwave settings. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Still edible? Maybe let\u2019s just order a pizza! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 7 \/10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part G. The Faint Young Sun Paradox<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What else?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Current evidence supports astronomers\u2019 belief that the Sun\u2019s energy comes from the fusion of hydrogen into helium deep in its core.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sounds right to me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there\u2019s a huge problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh yeah? What is it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As hydrogen fuses, the composition of the Sun\u2019s core should change, gradually increasing the Sun\u2019s temperature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If that were true, it would mean the Earth was colder in the past!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly. The Earth would\u2019ve been below freezing 3.5 billion years ago\u2014right when life was supposed to begin!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really? And how do they figure that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The rate of nuclear fusion depends on temperature. As the Sun\u2019s core temperature rises, its energy output should increase, making the Sun shine brighter over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How far below freezing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Calculations show the Sun would become 25% brighter after 3.5 billion years. That means the early Sun would have been weaker, warming Earth by 17\u00b0C (31\u00b0F) less than today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is below freezing. But couldn\u2019t life still make it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe, but that\u2019s not the real issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then what is?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even evolutionists admit there\u2019s no evidence of those freezing temperatures in the geological record. They actually call this problem the \u201cfaint young Sun paradox.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that\u2019s not a problem on time scales of a few thousand years!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Certainly not! But it is if the world is billions of years old!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 8 \/10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part H. Chase with the Bat<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And where were you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the bathroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All that time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They had tied me up. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the social workers came back the next day…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Flashback<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next day. Papaia’s house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The situation is calmer. The two social workers and Mom are sitting on the couch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u2019am, we\u2019ve noticed you have difficulty managing your children\u2019s behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Managing? Why should I? They\u2019re so well-behaved. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well-behaved?! They nearly set the house on fire!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even the school confirms signs of behavioral issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Behavioral? Hey! Are you talking about my kids?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u2019am, you have to stop justifying them and face reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Those boys urgently need discipline!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom\u2019s expression changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (coldly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Discipline, huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her hand slips behind the armchair… here we go!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, discipline, ma\u2019am! The very thing you completely lack!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I need to understand reality, huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She pulls out a baseball bat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wh-what\u2019s that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A baseball bat… to help you understand reality! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Put that down immediately, ma\u2019am! Or you\u2019ll just make things worse!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1 (worried)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u2019am, this is an official interview. We\u2019re only asking for your cooperation. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom (slapping the bat on her palm)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interview? Sure\u2026 I\u2019ve got a couple of things to say to you! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 NEIGHBORHOOD STREET, A FEW MINUTES LATER<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The social workers run away in terror. Mom chases them with the bat in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Social Worker 1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Help!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Come back! I\u2019ll show you what a healthy family environment looks like! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
End of flashback<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Mom says, \u201cWhy should I control them? They\u2019re so well-behaved,\u201d she\u2019s not joking. Mino and Nino were so \u201cwell-behaved,\u201d they\u2019d already been hired by a demolition company\u2026 to save money on bulldozers. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026A baseball bat\u2026 to understand reality! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026As in, how \u201creal\u201d is a head injury?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The social workers only asked for cooperation\u2026 but she generously added a blunt object too! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Her husband used to say she had no sense of humor. He was wrong\u2014he just hadn\u2019t noticed she\u2019s only inspired when she\u2019s holding a bat! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 9 \/10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part I. Mom’s Arrest<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point, I think things took a bad turn\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom got six months…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 THE ARREST SCENE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exterior, front yard \u2013 sunny day<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s mom is sitting on the living room couch, in slippers, crocheting. On the TV, a beaver documentary. Silence. Peace. A rare moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA\u2019S MOM<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(sighing)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Five minutes, just five… that\u2019s all I ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DING DONG.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her expression turns grim. She slowly gets up, drags herself to the door, opens it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SALESMAN (cheerful)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good morning, ma\u2019am! Have you ever thought about improving your kids\u2019 discipline? \u201cChildren and Rules: Twenty Techniques Without Yelling!\u201d is the magazine for you! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She stares at him. Silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Discipline, huh? Hold on a sec\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She goes back inside and returns\u2026 with a baseball bat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA\u2019S MOM<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twenty techniques? I\u2019ll give you twenty… twenty whacks on the head! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The salesman screams and bolts down the driveway. She chases him without hesitation, yelling incoherent phrases. But just then, a police car silently pulls up at the gate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
POLICE OFFICER #1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(to his partner)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s her. Just like the description: bat, sudden sprint, murder stare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The salesman runs past the car, waving the magazine like a white flag. The officers step out. Mom stops, realizing the situation. Slowly lowers the bat. Looks at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA\u2019S MOM<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was for… educational purposes. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
POLICE OFFICER #2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(resigned)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u2019am, you\u2019re under arrest for assaulting social workers and attempted editorial vandalism. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They cuff her. Meanwhile, the social workers arrive up the driveway, looking around in exasperation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SOCIAL WORKER 1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s take the kids. Before one of them tries to set the trash can on fire… again. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SOCIAL WORKER 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(glancing inside)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh no, too late. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia\u2019s mom is placed in the police car. All the neighbors are at their windows and gates, stunned but not entirely surprised. Some applaud. One offers popcorn. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The four siblings \u2013 Papaia, Nino, Mino, and Chantilly \u2013 are taken away in a separate minivan. Each with a different expression: Papaia looks thoughtful, Nino is laughing, Mino is fake-crying, Chantilly is taking a selfie with the cop car in the background. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom gets in silently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The door closes. The car drives away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fade out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry, but that salesman had it coming! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026maybe next time he should ask the neighbors first! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026after meeting Mrs. Papaia and experiencing her warm welcome and the friendly household atmosphere\u2014complete with objects slicing through the air\u2014I don\u2019t think there will be a next time! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026I\u2019m thinking of inviting her on my Friday night show. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026all it takes is a bat in her hand and someone who disagrees! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026then boom, comedy gold! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026like that line to the salesman: \u201cTwenty techniques to fracture your femur!\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026maybe she did want to show him all twenty? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026I totally pictured it when she told the cops it was \u201cfor educational purposes\u201d! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Mom arrested, and the kids didn\u2019t even care! Honestly, the ones who suffered the most were the neighbors! No \u201cbat chase show\u201d for six months! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026the popcorn guy had to go back to work at the factory. Thanks to Mrs. Papaia and a decent phone, he had become an influencer! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part 10 \/ 10<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part J. Weak Sun \u2013 Part 2<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So the sun increases its heating power over time. And if the Earth were 3.5 billion years old, the temperature when life began would have been 17 degrees lower than today. That means it would have been below freezing. Yet no one finds evidence of this in the rock layers!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do evolutionary geologists explain that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the years, scientists have proposed several mechanisms to try to explain this issue. These hypotheses require changes in Earth\u2019s atmosphere. For example, a greater presence of greenhouse gases early in Earth\u2019s history could have trapped more heat\u2014but that would imply that greenhouse gases gradually decreased to offset the increasing brightness of the Sun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And have they found any evidence to support that idea?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paco<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. Not at all. None of these hypotheses can be proven, because there’s no evidence. Plus, it’s hard to believe that a mechanism completely independent of solar brightness could so precisely compensate for the Sun\u2019s varying emissions over billions of years.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Part 1 \/ 10 Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, start taking an interest in creationism. Their superiors, alarmed, send them to see the psychologist, Professor Faggioli \u2014 a dubious figure determined to get them fired by making them seem insane. NASAL. Faggioli\u2019s Office. Papaia\u2019s … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-episode"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5474"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5474\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5475,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5474\/revisions\/5475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}