Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin to take an interest in creationism. Their superiors, worried, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them seem insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re in Professor Faggioli\u2019s office. It\u2019s Banani\u2019s turn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see we\u2019re having issues with explosives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wouldn\u2019t exactly call them \u201cissues.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, no? And what would you call them, then? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know\u2026 it\u2019s more like\u2026 a result I frequently get!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You realize this could stem from your subconscious. We need to dig deeper. Any recent events you\u2019d like to tell me about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well\u2026 now that I think of it\u2026 yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was something. It happened just recently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK. Banani\u2019s garage. A few months ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani is building a strange contraption.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before we blow up along with that machine\u2026 can you tell me what it is? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a K-wave amplifier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
K-waves? What are those? Never heard of them\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me neither! That\u2019s why I built this machine! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So you basically have no idea what you\u2019re doing! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What are you talking about, Igor? Look at this\u2026 a couple of screws here\u2026 a bolt there\u2026 tighten it\u2026 a bit of duct tape\u2026 and done!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you sure this is a good idea, Banani?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor, trust me. Duct tape is the backbone of science. No failures today. Only explosive progress! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Did you just say \u201cexplosive\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Metaphorically!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (voice-over): Hmm\u2026 Interesting! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani connects two exposed wires that start to spark. A red blinking light turns on in the device.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s working! It\u2019s working! Ah ah ah\u2014! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BOOM!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does Banani have a problem with explosives? Not at all! Banani is absolutely in favor! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026When I saw that gadget in Banani\u2019s garage, I had no idea what it was. And apparently, neither did its inventor! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The only certainty was that thing was going to explode! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Like everything built in Banani\u2019s garage, after all. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Even Banani, subconsciously, knew what was about to happen \u2014 an explosion! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Yes, Banani! Definitely explosive progress! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026I mean\u2026 progress within the blast radius! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Wider and wider with each new experiment! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Faggioli had noticed it and was already taking notes\u2026 certainly, for his research, an explosive revelation! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Now, Banani\u2019s last words before the incident were \u201cIt\u2019s working.\u201d Really? You\u2019re telling me the goal was to light up a red LED?! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Bravo! But next time, let\u2019s use a battery, not nitroglycerin! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani\u2019s Living Room \u2013 a few minutes later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani is sitting in an armchair, looking confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Around him are his wife, two children, and his parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the coffee table are old family photos, albums, and cherished items.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What happened?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know. The usual explosion in the garage\u2026 and now\u2026 he doesn\u2019t remember anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani\u2026 look at this. It\u2019s our honeymoon in Venice. Do you remember? Look, that\u2019s you wearing the gondolier\u2019s hat!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looks\u2026 happy. But\u2026 no. I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Son:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And this? It\u2019s the robot you built for my school! His name was\u2026 Rollatron! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rollatron\u2026 that\u2019s a funny name. But it doesn\u2019t ring a bell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani\u2019s Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sweetie, we went to that park every Sunday for twenty years. You even hid a birthday cake in a bush once, remember? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A cake in a bush? That does sound like something I\u2019d do\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani clutches his head, but still can\u2019t remember anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After a few hours, the family has lost hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani\u2019s Dad:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019ve tried everything. Photos, stories, smells, music. Nothing works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silence. His wife sighs, gets up, and begins tidying. As she puts things away, a roll of tape accidentally falls to the floor and rolls to Banani\u2019s feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(picking up the roll)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026What is\u2026 this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, that\u2019s just\u2026 your usual tape. You put it everywhere. Even on the coffee machine. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(jumping up)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. No no no. That\u2019s not \u201cjust tape.\u201d It\u2019s\u2026 It\u2019s the solution! It\u2019s EVERYTHING!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Son:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad??<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The tape! Now I remember everything! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I built a rocket with it. Fixed the shower. Muzzled a raccoon with it! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The tape\u2026 it\u2019s\u2026 it\u2019s part of me! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani\u2019s Mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(amazed) \u2026 there it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(looking at his hands, then the roll)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My name is Banani. And I\u2026 I fix things with tape! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(sighs, laughs, cries)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pause)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But now\u2026 who blew up the garage? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You did. And also the microwave. And the hamster. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah. Good. I\u2019m back. Prepare the tape. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor: What was Banani\u2019s robot called again? Rollatron? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Knowing Banani, I\u2019d say that name was more than fitting! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Rollatron! What kind of name is that for a robot? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Sounds more like the name of a Transformer made out of a roll of tape and a forgotten sandwich. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Can you picture it? Like, hair curlers instead of arms! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The neighbor\u2019s cat bowl as a head! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Maybe even a smiley emoji drawn on it with a marker! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And the legs? Two 1.5-liter soda bottles! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Filled with sand and rice! And one probably had a hole in it! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Poor Rollatron limped and even leaked from one foot! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026If you lost him, you just had to follow the trail of sand he left behind! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Losing him? Nearly impossible! Rollatron limped! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Half the time he fell over halfway down the hall. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026He looked like Banani\u2019s drunk uncle coming home from the bar on a Saturday night! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And the body? An empty can of corn? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026No! Worse! Three pizza boxes! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Taped together\u2026 of course! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026From one of Banani\u2019s mom\u2019s lazy nights! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Still with tomato stains on them! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And crusty chunks of mozzarella! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026At night they had to wrap him in cling film. Otherwise, he\u2019d attract ants and bugs! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Banani even designed a sword. The blade was a broken ruler! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026That he\u2019d kept since third grade! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The handle? An empty toilet paper roll! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026One of the arms had a secret move with a rubber band! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026But if you pulled too hard, it would fly off with the sword! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And the whole thing, of course, held together by tape! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Tape, obviously. The soul of Rollatron! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to Faggioli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know, Banani\u2026 there\u2019s something that keeps coming up in your stories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Genius?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. Tape.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani lights up like a lightbulb powered by a wobbly dynamo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tape! The most underrated tool in the universe! It holds together rockets, toasters, dams, broken hearts\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (cutting him off)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s your favorite brand?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The MegaFix 9000, Pro version. Industrial gray. Waterproof, fireproof, and resistant to currents up to 1000 Watts. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\u2026 how long is a roll?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
23.7 meters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Country of manufacture?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Glasgow, southern Scotland.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Number of production plants?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only one. The rest are warehouses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Number of workers?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
About 1,223, according to September data.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stock market value?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Currently at $7.32, down 0.7%.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Color of the president\u2019s tie at the last conference?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wine red. With tiny black flowers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (stunned)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m\u2026 impressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI (thinking)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twenty-three point seven! What now? He\u2019ll find out I\u2019m a fraud! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli tries to suppress a panic attack. But from under the desk\u2026 emerges TONY THE SOCK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ooooh, look who\u2019s here! The little engineer of the magic tape!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Let\u2019s tape this, tape that!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then BOOM! Everything explodes, and you know why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TONY<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because\u2026 TAPE SUCKS! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
HA HA HA! TAPE SUCKS!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
AND YOU SUCK AS AN INVENTOR!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
HA HA HA! BANANI AND HIS TAPE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
HA HA HA!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani freezes. His expression darkens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI (offended)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tape\u2026 doesn\u2019t suck! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s an art. A philosophy. A way of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silence. Faggioli calms down. Tony slinks back onto the desk, satisfied. For now, balance is restored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The MegaFix 9000 could withstand up to 1000 Watts of current.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did Banani test it\u2026 maybe on himself? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Faggioli\u2019s afraid that if his patients answer his own questions too well, they\u2019ll realize he\u2019s incompetent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli! No need for tricks\u2014your patients figure out your incompetence right away! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Tony says tape sucks, Banani says tape doesn\u2019t suck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And me? What do I think?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know, I\u2019ve never tasted it! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Papaia and Ravioli are talking about a book Banani found, on the geological evidence for Noah\u2019s flood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how does secular geology explain those layers?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The conventional explanation is that, under the pressure and heat of burial, the hardened layers of sandstone and limestone bent so slowly that they behaved plastically and didn\u2019t break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\u2026 is that even possible?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. However, pressure and heat should have caused detectable changes in the minerals of these rocks\u2014clear signs of metamorphism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me guess\u2026 those signs aren\u2019t there!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly! Those metamorphic minerals or recrystallizations that would result from plastic deformation just aren\u2019t observed in these rocks. The sandstone and limestone in the folds are identical to sedimentary layers found elsewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A mystery for them, but for us\u2014a piece of evidence!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The only logical conclusion is that the 440-million-year delay between deposition and folding never happened!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, the Tapeats-to-Kaibab sequence was deposited rapidly at the beginning of the catastrophic global Flood described in Genesis, followed by the uplift of the Kaibab Plateau in the final months of the Flood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only that explains how the whole sequence bent without significant fracturing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The only logical conclusion I see here\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
is that if they don\u2019t fire us, they\u2019re transferring us to the Kaibab Plateau. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Permanently! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to Faggioli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One last thing. You mentioned\u2026 a hamster that exploded?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, his name was Fruffy. The kids were really attached to him\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FLASHBACK \u2013 Banani\u2019s house. Last year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We’re in the living room. Banani\u2019s kids are sitting on the couch, hugging Fruffy\u2019s cage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SON:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Look how peacefully he sleeps! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAUGHTER:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He\u2019s on a scented cotton pillow. I made it myself!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SON:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh no! Look outside the window!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAUGHTER:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No! Not again! I can\u2019t believe it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two feline eyes shine in the darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAUGHTER (panicking):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad! The neighbor\u2019s cat tried to get in again!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SON (shaking):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad\u2026 he wants to eat him. He wants to eat Fruffy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI (dead serious):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No one will ever touch that hamster again! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I already have an idea!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAUGHTER:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad\u2026 please\u2026 no flamethrowers this time\u2026 \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI (offended):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What? That was just a prototype for roasting marshmallows remotely! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, yeah! The kids, so attached to the hamster!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How attached can you get to a hamster in two weeks? That\u2019s the maximum lifespan of a hamster in the Banani household! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026That hamster wouldn\u2019t have slept so soundly if it had known what was coming! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s around midnight. We\u2019re in the garage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani is hunched over a workbench. In front of him: a net-shooting gun made of irrigation pipes, an industrial hairdryer, a roll of packing tape, and an optical mouse sensor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani is recording voice notes on his phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI (into phone):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Note… bait in position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani has placed Fruffy as bait. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Note… I added a motion sensor. Once it’s triggered, the gun fires a sticky net made of tape. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The cat comes in, the cage lifts, the net fires\u2026 mission accomplished!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sets everything up carefully. Fruffy\u2019s cage is suspended in mid-air, hanging from a pulley made out of a skate wheel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI (proudly):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now we just open the door and wait\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He moves toward the door to open it, but the sensor picks up his own movement. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ROBOTIC VOICE:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Motion detected. Initiating protocol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
WHAT?! NO NO NO WAIT DON\u2019T\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ZWWWFFFF!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The gun fires a net made entirely of tape. Banani gets wrapped up, slammed against the wall, and hangs like a Christmas ham.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI (muffled):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d say something went a little wrong! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While struggling to free himself, he bumps the table with his shoulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh no\u2026 no no no no\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(looks at a small bottle on the edge)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bottle labeled \u201cBanani Bomb\u201d \u2013 an explosive compound used to inflate balloons \u2013 falls, bounces, hits a toolbox, and\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026lands right inside Fruffy\u2019s suspended cage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI (shouting):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FUUUUUUU\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udca5 BOOM!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The cage explodes in a cloud of smoke and hamster fluff. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oops! I blew up the hamster! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, the neighbor\u2019s cat, sitting on the wall, watches the scene with total indifference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It slowly licks its paw, yawns, and walks away. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back in the garage. A few moments later, Banani\u2019s kids enter, drawn by the noise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They find Banani still taped to the wall, and the cage \u2013 still hanging \u2013 blackened and burst open from the explosion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SON:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad? Where\u2019s Fruffy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Low orbit, I think. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAUGHTER:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ugh, Dad! That\u2019s the third hamster\u2026 this month! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SON:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t worry! You did your best, Dad. But next time, to scare off the cat\u2026 maybe just use a broom! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to Faggioli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your kids are very understanding. Others might\u2019ve been upset!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uh\u2026 let\u2019s just say they\u2019re used to it by now! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tell me about your kids. Are they like you? I mean\u2026 in terms of explosions and tape?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No! Faggioli, they\u2019re very diligent kids. They love studying and do well in school. I really can\u2019t complain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good! Fewer notes for me to write. \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor: Perfect, Banani! What better plan to save a hamster from a predator than using the hamster as bait! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026maybe instead of putting him in a cage, you could\u2019ve set him on a tray and covered him with a lid! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026\u201cHere, kitty kitty! Dinner\u2019s ready!\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026a net-shooting gun\u2026 or rather, a tape-shooting gun! What else would you expect from Banani and his \u201ctape-centric\u201d genius? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Banani sets off the very sensor he installed. This isn\u2019t even surprising anymore. After all the planning, the most obvious outcome is Banani caught in his own trap! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026classic Banani own goal! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Banani, stuck to the wall and wrapped in a web of tape\u2014of his own making\u2014has the nerve to say: \u201cI\u2019d say something went wrong\u201d! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Not something, Banani\u2014EVERYTHING! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026in Banani\u2019s garage, along with his usual tools, we also find the \u201cBanani Bomb\u201d? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And Banani wants us to believe he didn\u2019t expect an explosion? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And what does he use it for? To inflate balloons?! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Picture Banani throwing a birthday party! Of course the balloons are filled with liquid hydrogen! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026And then handed out to children! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026with Banani warning them: \u201cBe careful\u2014don\u2019t shake them too much!\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026naturally, the Banani Bomb ends up right in the hamster cage! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026when he placed that cage, it almost felt like Banani had calculated the trajectory subconsciously! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026If the hamster could talk, you know what he\u2019d have said in that moment? RUN! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026No use spinning in your wheel, Fruffy! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Once you\u2019re part of a Banani experiment, your future has only two possible outcomes: you either blow up, or you end up in orbit! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Or maybe both! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026When Banani saw the puff of fur and smoke, all he could say was: \u201cOops! I blew up the hamster!\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Banani, how about you drop the \u201coops\u201d? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026We all know your real goal was to blow something up! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Hamster exploded, mission accomplished! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Just another example of Banani family pets\u2026 sacrificed for science! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Thank you for everything, Fruffy! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026We\u2019ll miss you! You and the ten other hamsters who met the same fate before you! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026But your son gave you a real pearl of wisdom! Use a broom\u2026 just to be clear, Banani: that means for sweeping away the cat, not as a rocket for your next duct-tape-powered crossbow, okay? \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026By then, Faggioli had heard so many absurdities, he had more than enough material! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026He was actually tired of writing! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026If Banani\u2019s kids were anything like their father, Faggioli would\u2019ve ended up with tendonitis! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026He didn\u2019t just have enough stories to get Banani fired from NASAL, but enough to have him expelled from planet Earth! \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Which might\u2019ve actually given him time to reflect\u2014along with his loyal friends\u2014on that infamous \u201corbital ejection trauma.\u201d \ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Papaia and Ravioli are talking about a book Banani found, about the geological evidence of Noah\u2019s flood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If the Earth\u2019s fossil-bearing sedimentary layers were deposited over 460 million years, they couldn\u2019t have bent without breaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What solution do old-earth advocates propose?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Heat and pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is that possible?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, they can make even hard rock layers pliable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So they claim that\u2019s what happened?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly \u2014 for example, in the eastern Grand Canyon, where the sequence of many overlying layers supposedly compressed and heated these rocks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So we have an explanation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s just one problem: the heat and pressure would have transformed these layers into quartzite, marble, and other metamorphic rocks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet the Tapeats Sandstone is still sandstone, a sedimentary rock!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point I\u2019m the one bending\u2026 to my knees\u2026 praying I won\u2019t hear them say this again!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Part 1\/9 Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin to take an interest in creationism. Their superiors, worried, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli, a shady character determined to get them fired by making them seem insane. We\u2019re in Professor Faggioli\u2019s office. It\u2019s Banani\u2019s … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-episode"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5458","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5458"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5458\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5459,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5458\/revisions\/5459"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5458"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5458"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/savedblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5458"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}