Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin to take an interest in creationism. Alarmed, their superiors send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli \u2014 a shady character determined to get them fired by making them seem insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re in Professor Faggioli\u2019s office, where Ravioli is undergoing evaluation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Rubbing his hands) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, I\u2019d say that\u2019ll be enough for now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Almost jumping up) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So? So how did it go? Can I stay at NASAL?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Serious but evasive) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll let you know, Mr. Ravioli. You must be patient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Suspicious) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But… so I\u2019m not crazy, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Closing his notebook) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I said, I\u2019ll let you know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli gestures toward the door. Ravioli, suspicious and confused, stands up and leaves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The door… that one! Learn to find it quickly! That skill will come in handy soon\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you get fired\u2026 and have to find the NASAL exit\u2026 out back!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SCENE \u2014 Waiting Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani and Papaia are seated on two chairs. Igor is standing against the wall, arms crossed. The door opens. Ravioli comes out with hunched shoulders and a doubtful expression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Anxiously) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli! You\u2019re done? Tell us\u2026 how did it go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
RAVIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He said he\u2019ll let me know\u2026 what does that mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PAPAIA <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It means he doesn\u2019t know either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or he\u2019s looking for the classiest way to recommend psychiatric care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Off screen) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Next!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani stands up. He takes a deep breath and enters the office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Next lunatic, please!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SCENE \u2014 Faggioli\u2019s Office<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli has returned to his position behind the desk. Banani sits, upright and nervous. A small roll of duct tape peeks out of his lab coat pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Very well, Mr. Banana\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course. So\u2026 I\u2019m here to get you all fired\u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ahem\u2026 I meant to say\u2026 to help you. Help you! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To\u2026 get back in touch with reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Skeptical) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Excuse me\u2026 did you say \u201cfired\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Nervously) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFired\u201d?… Look, I never said that word!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BANANI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it sounded very precise…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FAGGIOLI <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Slamming a fist on the table) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2019re here to be evaluated, not to evaluate me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tense pause. From outside, Igor\u2019s sarcastic voice is heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IGOR <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Off screen, loudly) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani is deaf in one ear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Quietly) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah\u2026 but he hears perfectly with the other!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n