Three scientists \u2014 Papaia, Banani, and Ravioli \u2014 and their assistant Igor, who work at NASAL, begin to show an interest in creationism. Their superiors, concerned, send them to a psychologist, Professor Faggioli \u2014 a questionable character determined to get them fired by making them look insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re in Professor Faggioli\u2019s office, where Ravioli is undergoing an evaluation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli recounts the times he used to hide fish in his pockets during corporate dinners. And that one time he discovered a support group called \u201cAnonymous Fish Hiders.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Flashback \u2014 Interior. A sad room with plastic chairs arranged in a circle. A rusty coffee pot on the table. A hand-drawn sign reads: \u201cWelcome, Anonymous Fish Hiders.\u201d]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Ravioli sits down shyly. A few people are already there, smiling strangely.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Moderator (a man with a mustache, wearing a jacket):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Welcome. We\u2019re all… ehem… \u2018former fish hiders\u2019 here. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026You can just listen… or share if you want.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Ravioli nods. The others begin to speak.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Train Station Master (hoarse voice):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I was a station master. Used to hide flounders under my uniform cap\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Said the smell came from diesel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026One time, during an inspection, a flounder slid down my face.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Ravioli\u2019s eyes widen.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Opera Singer (still in costume, makeup smudged):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“At La Scala premieres, they sometimes served fish. Once I hid a full-sized octopus down my neckline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 I kept singing while trying to stop the tentacles from sliding down my dress!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Ravioli covers his mouth to avoid laughing.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Accountant (looking solemn):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I know every tax loophole… even aquatic ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 My secretary sometimes brought me fish lunches. But I\u2019d tuck sardines into client tax returns <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026and mail them to the revenue agency. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026They never found out. I think.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[The others nod gravely.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another Participant (a man with enormous feet, whispering):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I… used to put anchovy pizzas in my boots… <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026whole ones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd70<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026You see, my relatives thought I liked them, but I just\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(He starts to cry softly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 I didn\u2019t have the courage to tell them I hated them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(wipes his tears with a used tissue)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 but then again, you just had to walk slowly.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[A brief silence. Everyone looks around and nods in understanding.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Ravioli suddenly feels… relieved. He\u2019s not an alien anymore. He\u2019s not alone.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[He closes his eyes and takes a slow breath.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Fade out \u2014 End of flashback \u2014 back to Faggioli\u2019s office.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back in Professor Faggioli\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (pen frozen midair, puzzled):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interesting… Very interesting. A real psycho… pischo-pathy of the group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[He realizes the slip and coughs awkwardly.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (correcting himself):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…I meant psychopathology, of course. Nothing to do with fish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Ravioli gives him a sidelong glance.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli (trying to regain control):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So… tell me, Mr. Ravioli: after that meeting… do you still feel the need to… hide fish?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli (thinking seriously for a moment):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, yes! Of course I do! But at least I wasn\u2019t alone anymore! And I\u2019d learned new tricks for hiding fish!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: Uhm… did she say a whole octopus… down her neckline?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: By any chance, was it a polka-dot dress?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: I wouldn\u2019t know… she didn\u2019t say…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: And a pizza in the shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: Exactly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: But… was it wood-fired?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: I think so!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faggioli: Don\u2019t you get it, Ravioli? Wood-fired or electric oven… floral dress or polka-dotted… these are deep, crucial differences!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor: Mental institution or psychiatric hospital? No, Faggioli, there\u2019s not that big of a difference. But either way, it\u2019s important that you go there\u2026 as a patient!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23<\/p>\n\n\n\n