In the boss’s office, the air is heavy. Perhaps it\u2019s because of the half-eaten Mexican lunch sitting in its container, or maybe it\u2019s the bad news looming over our scientists.
The four sit anxiously in chairs near the desk. The boss sits in his seat, looking extremely serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Gentlemen, I told you that if I ever heard you were wasting work hours again with that creationism nonsense\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli (suddenly interrupting): No, boss! I have nothing to do with those magazines! They\u2019re Banani\u2019s!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani: Hey, no! I only borrowed them. The magazines are Papaia\u2019s!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: What are you even talking about? What magazines?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli (awkwardly): Magazines\u2026 No, I mean\u2026 solar filters from the telescope\u2026 the ones that broke\u2026 yesterday\u2026 by accident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani: No, no! They broke because you dropped them while checking the time, waiting for lunch!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss (shouting): Ravioli! Banani! Does my face look like I\u2019m joking?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani: No, sir\u2026 of course not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli (awkwardly): Sorry, boss. It won\u2019t happen again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boss takes a deep breath, preparing to continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: As I was saying, I spoke to the higher-ups, and they agreed with me to let you keep working at the observatory. But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani (bursting into tears): Please don\u2019t fire me\u2026 I have a family!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss (irritated): Banani! Are you deaf? Didn\u2019t I just tell you and Ravioli not to interrupt me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani (sobbing): Actually, boss, I am deaf in one ear. Anyway\u2026 sorry\u2026 I won\u2019t do it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boss buries his face in his hands, then quietly counts to three and strikes a yoga pose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Didn\u2019t I warn you that questioning the Big Bang isn\u2019t tolerated at this observatory?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: Yes, boss, I remember you said that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Then can you explain this note in your report?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani: What note?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: What report?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Excuse me, Ravioli, but do you even work here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: I hope so, boss\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Papaia added a note to the end of your weekly data report about the \u201cHubble tension.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: Hubble? Who\u2019s Hubble? Wait a second\u2026 isn\u2019t that the new employee?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani: Yeah, yeah, it\u2019s him. I noticed he\u2019s a bit tense, but that\u2019s normal\u2014he just started a few days ago\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: Papaia! Why did you mention the new employee in the report? It\u2019s just about data\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boss is banging his head against the wall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: Gentlemen, when we talk about Hubble tension, we\u2019re not referring to the new employee\u2019s anxiety! It\u2019s about a problem with the Hubble constant in cosmology!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli (clapping his hands): Of course! I knew it! Obviously, it\u2019s cosmology. I knew that\u2014I was just joking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani (nervously laughing): Heh, heh! For a moment, we got confused. Naturally, everyone knows about the \u201cHubble pressure!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: No, Banani, it\u2019s not \u201cpressure\u201d; it\u2019s \u201ctension\u201d\u2026 the \u201cHubble tension.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani (pretending): Isn\u2019t that what I just said? The \u201cHubble pension.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli (whispering): Papaia, let it go\u2014he\u2019s deaf in one ear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: The \u201cHubble tension,\u201d exactly. And here\u2019s the problem: it\u2019s in your report, Papaia!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: Are you referring to that final note, boss?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: That\u2019s right\u2026 I thought I was clear last time, but maybe I wasn\u2019t\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: You were perfectly clear, boss. That was just a simple observation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Let me read it to refresh your memory\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boss rummages through some papers and finds Papaia\u2019s report.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: \u201c…And since the value of the Hubble constant measured using cosmic radiation differs significantly from that measured using redshift, this suggests that our cosmological model may need to be reconsidered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: Yes, it\u2019s the truth!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: But don\u2019t you understand? Didn\u2019t I tell you the truth doesn\u2019t pay your rent?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: You reminded me last time, boss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Exactly. And you know very well that we\u2019ve always attributed this problem to instrumentation errors!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: Boss, you know as well as I do that the instruments can\u2019t produce such a large error.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss (frustrated): What\u2019s wrong with you, Papaia? Do you want to get us all fired? It\u2019s the instruments\u2019 fault, end of story! That\u2019s what the investors want to hear, and that\u2019s what we tell them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (lowering his gaze): I understand perfectly, boss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Now imagine the effort it took me this morning to come up with excuses to cover for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: I\u2019m sorry, boss. From now on, I\u2019ll follow the agreed protocol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Papaia, I\u2019ve known you and your assistants for years. I know you\u2019re good scientists, even if a bit distracted and clumsy. As far as I\u2019m concerned, you can keep your jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The four suddenly jump for joy, but the boss cuts them off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: But\u2026 what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: But\u2026 the higher-ups don\u2019t see it my way. They want to ensure these incidents involving creationism won\u2019t happen again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani: Tell them not to worry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss (sighing): It\u2019s not that simple, Banani. Believe me! I had a tough meeting with them and convinced them not to fire you on the spot. They agreed\u2026 for now. But on one condition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli: What condition?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: You\u2019ll need to\u2026 pass a test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia (laughing): Ha, ha! An astronomy test? That\u2019ll be a piece of cake for us!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: It\u2019s not a technical test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani: No? Then what kind of test is it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: A psychological test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The four freeze for a moment, then look at each other with frightened faces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ravioli (whispering): They\u2019ll find out we\u2019re crazy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banani (whispering): Oh, Ravioli! Speak for yourself!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: Maybe you don\u2019t understand the gravity of the situation yet. Tomorrow morning, you\u2019ll report to the psychologist\u2019s office on the third floor, Room A. You\u2019ll be evaluated and take a psycho-aptitude test. If you fail\u2026 you\u2019re out!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Papaia: But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boss: No buts! Now, if you don\u2019t mind, I have a lot of work to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boss returns to his paperwork, flipping through some documents as Papaia and the others leave the office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Igor: You know, Ravioli and Banani are starting to remind me of the new guy\u2026 nervous, confused, and clueless about astronomy. The only difference? He just started, and you\u2019re just about\u2026 to get fired!<\/p>\n\n\n\n